Category: blog contest

Posted on

G in Indian women fashion

Talking about Indian women’s fashion, if you have been following this series, I will introduce the alphabet with a dress and a weave. The reason I do that is we already know that there is a garment and the weave is mentioned so that we get to know about the fabric that it’s been used for so that we could also come up with ideas to bring that idea of ours to life. The one that uses the Indian weave for the outfit of your dreams. Because who said you cannot have a haram pant in silk and pair it up with a chanderi tank top layered with a bagru print long shrug and accessorized with kundan long chains? After all, fashion is in the mind of a person who envisions how they would want to present themselves.

Today let us look at the alphabet G.


Ghaghara choli

Image source Myntra


Having been there for centuries, this traditional and elegant attire that comprises a long skirt, a scarf, and a blouse is the Ghaghara choli. Worn by women during festivities and special occasions this three-piece garment gleams elegance and beauty at first glance.
Heavily embellished with sequins, embroidery, or even stones, the long flowing skirt made of silk or luxurious material is the Ghaghara. A short sleeved tight fitted blouse that is paired is the choli and the midriff is visible since the choli is stitched short.


The choli can be of the same material as the skirt or even different. Depending upon the occasion, it can be amped up with stone or sequin work to look grander in appeal than the skirt. The color could also be the same with contrast work or a fabric that is of contrast color with minimal work would both work great with the Ghaghara. The neck designs also play an important role where it could be as halter, off-shoulder, or even backless. Overall, the choli should complement the long skirt, Ghaghara.


The final element that adds grandeur is the dupatta or the scarf which is draped over the shoulders or even covers the head. Heavily embellished with stones and embroidery the dupatta adds elegance and sophistication to complement the Ghaghara choli.


In addition to being aesthetic, the Ghaghara is also a comfortable garment that provides ease of movement because of the long skirt. The blouse can be stitched to fit perfectly for the body of the wearer.


Gadwal

Image source meesho


A lightweight durable fabric that is distinctive and stands out because of its sheen and texture, the gadwal originated in the town of Gadwal, Telangana. A unique blend of silk and cotton threads the gadwal is made of high-quality craftsmanship and has exquisite designs.


In a gadwal saree, the body of the saree is made of cotton threads and the pallu has silk threads. The body and the pallu along with the border are then attached finally to make it lightweight by a technique called kuttu. The interlocking of silk and cotton threads requires precision and highly skilled craftsmanship. Also, to note is the time-consuming process. Owing to the light and airy feel it can be worn in hot and humid climates.


The gadwal is a symbol of Telangana’s cultural heritage and can be worn for special occasions.

Gota patti

Image source Indiamart

An Indian embroidery technique where small pieces of zari which could be silver or gold ribbons being pasted on to the fabrics and then sewed at the end. A lengthy and time consuming process involves a lot of skilled craftsmanship.



When you look through the crowd at an Indian Wedding, I am very sure that you can find a couple of people wearing garments with gota patti. A traditional Indian embroidery technique that involves stitching metallic strips in gold and silver onto fabric with intricate designs the gota patti is used on saree and lehenga.


Prevalent during the Mughal era, it is believed to have originated in Lucknow. The strips known as zari also is now made with different colors like pastels and other hues. The motifs range from floral to paisleys and can also be geometric or abstract designs. Jaipur, Ajmer, Bikaner, and Udaipur are centers of this amazing art of intricate design weaving.

This post is part of #blogchatterA2Z 2023.

Posted on

F in Indian women fashion

A term that has been gaining a lot of momentum and traction in recent years is fusion wear. Pairing up traditional costumes with little input from Western styles gives you a unique and modern look. When you are quite bored of sporting the traditional look or the Western formals, this will give you a refreshing look.


We could say it’s the best of both worlds (Indian and Western styles) as it incorporates the beauty of both. A popular twist to fashion is when a woman wants to embrace her cultural roots while still incorporating modern fashion trends.

Image source Amazon


This style became a revolution in Indian women’s fashion such that top brands have even adopted it to bring them into their collections. Though Western wear gained a lot of attention, the ethnic wear segment of garments has repositioned itself as preferred because of the innovative styles, and product marketing the growth trajectory has also seen immense rise.


Image source AJIO

During the early 2000s, the designers started experimenting by using silhouettes from Western styles in traditional ethnic wear. This gave rise to fusion wear, a style blended with the best of both worlds.


Those living in urban areas have adopted the trend of fusion wear. It appears versatile and comfortable in addition to being stylish, it has now become a great choice for everyday wear and also for formal occasions. Its versatility spans such that the attire can be dressed up and dressed down, depending upon the occasion for which it is worn.


An Indo-Western dress wherein a saree or salwar kameez has a Western silhouette or cut that makes it comfortable and stylish has recently gained popularity. The fusion saree is a traditional Indian saree that has Western cuts, and options to drape over a pair of pants.
Fusion wear has even found its way into weddings. From wedding guests to even the bride now chooses to wear fusion wear. The modern and stylish bridal look retains the cultural significance of traditional bridal attire.
This unique and modern style of clothing will gain more popularity as more women embrace this choice of fusion wear.

Image source Indya


A combination of the Ghaghara skirt with a pashmina stole and a cashmere top can never go wrong when it comes to styling. Indian fabrics are given a fresh look with cuts from Europe and the United States giving you a refreshing outlook that can never go wrong.

This post is part of #blogchatterA2Z 2023.

Posted on

C’s in Indian women fashion

Being a unique blend of traditional and modern styles Indian women’s fashion has evolved over the years. Intricate designs, craftsmanship, and vibrant colors make it stand out distinctly. Let us take a look at Indian women’s fashion in ‘C’.

Churidar

Image source Flipkart


Originating in North India, the churidar is bottom wear, which is worn with kameez or a tunic. Characterized by its tight fit near the ankle, it uses extra fabric to be gathered around the ankle. A churidar is a versatile outfit that can be worn for both formal and casual events. It can be stitched with cotton, silk, or chiffon and to add that touch of elegance it can be embellished with sequins or embroidery.


A modest and conservative garment that covers the leg, the churidar is loved by women from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and other south Asian countries. It is a comfortable and easy-to-move-around attire.

Chanderi silk

Image source Jaypore


Handwoven by artisans in the town of Chanderi, Madhya Pradesh, chanderi silk is a fabric that is a combination of cotton threads and silk. Unparalleled quality, exquisite texture, and intricate designs make it a luxurious fabric that is known for its sheer texture and lightweight that makes it stand apart distinctly.


The soft and delicate feel makes it perfect for weaving comfortable garments. The history dates to the 7th Century, wherein the artisans spun the thread to yarn, dye them with vibrant colors, and then weave them into the fabric. Highly coveted for its intricate design and graceful drape, the chanderi silk often uses zari which is a metallic thread that adds to the glamour of the drape.


Elegant and sophisticated evening wear can be made because of the natural sheen, but since it’s also lightweight, it can be suited to make daily or casual wear garments as well. Such is the versatility of the fabric. The fabric can be woven into sarees, salwar, and lehenga.

Chikankari

Image source meesho


An embroidery technique that comprises intricate handmade designs being stitched onto lightweight airy fabrics is chikankari which originates from the state of Uttar Pradesh. It is a traditional embroidery style derived from the Persian word ‘chikan’ which means embroidery. It is usually done on lightweight fabrics like silk, muslin, and cotton.


Initially brought to India by the Persians, the technique was later adopted by the Mughals who used it to make garments for the nobility who made it an art form, so we could also say that the chikankari art flourished during the Mughal Era. Now it is a widely practiced embroidery technique that is also loved by the general population.


Floral motifs, paisleys, and geometric designs are some of the intricate patterns of embroidery that are done on the fabric. Mostly done in white or pastel colors the light weight of the fabric is the distinct feature of the chikankari which makes it perfect to be worn in summer. Its, crisp finished texture gives it a sophisticated look.


It takes days to finish making a garment because the process is highly labor-intensive because needs delicate embroidery which is one of the reasons that the fabric or garment is on the expensive side.

This post is part of #blogchatterA2Z 2023.

Posted on

Lessons from Becoming

Michelle Obama, the name lit up the room and also inspiration to many of us. Whatever she is today is self-made and that’s something that everyone wants to become one day. She was not born with a silver spoon but she did come out with flying colors. She was never helped to go up the ladder, yet she was there before no one knew it. She had fought tooth and nail to reach and become whoever she is now and marrying the most powerful man or should I put it rightly to say the love of her life and becoming the FLOTUS.

YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT

Your role as the parent is not only to be their role model to shape them up and make them look up to you but also a good companion. From Michelle’s memoir that is so inspiring that right from when she was small she was taught “Not to let anyone walk over you and to stand up when someone tries to bully.” Well I must say that should be the most important lesson any parent must teach their little one. Standing up for themselves and not letting them be vulnerable for someone to hurt them.

Mom-Daughter bond

The bond between mom and daughter should be transparent and open. More than a parent they should be friends with each other which will help them make this relationship work. Young Michelle was always fascinated by coming up with creative solutions to common problems right from the time of preschool. She was equally encouraged by her mom , Marian Robinson to continue doing so. She would share all her adventures with her mom which made her mom well aware of what Michelle would think and do.

To me, there was magic in the learning.

But her enthusiasm dropped when she was in grade two. Noticed by her mom about her demotivation in school,she got to understand it was due to her teacher at school who was cruel to students. So instead of dealing like every other parent, she took up the matter to the Principal who with the other authorities agreed to promote her to the next grade since she had enough knowledge.

So as a parent, instead of treating the kids as an immature human being, if they’re mood swings are noticed by paying attention and try to understand the emotional let down they’re experiencing it can play a great part in evolving the childhood experiences of the kid.

My mother maintained the sort of parental mind-set that I now recognize as brilliant and nearly impossible to emulate — kind of unflappable Zen neutrality… She wasn’t quick to judge and she wasn’t quick to meddle. Instead, she monitored our moods and bore benevolent witness to whatever travails or triumphs a day might bring… When we’d done something great, we received just enough praise to know she was happy with us, but never so much that it became the reason we did what we did.

Being a woman in a (male) dominated world

As a kid, Michelle was enriched and instilled with knowledge on the wonders that good education would bring her even in her later ages. She passed college in flying colors and being among underdogs but she paved her way through landing in a well-paid job is a story that inspires every reader who picks the book on how the magic of a hard working person can help destroy all the barriers be it color or birth.

Michelle does share her experience of being the only woman and in particular african-american woman in most of the rooms and still managing to succeed.

Women endure entire lifetimes of these indignities — in the form of catcalls, groping, assault, oppression. These things injure us. They sap our strength. Some of the cuts are so small they’re barely visible. Others are huge and gaping, leaving scars that never heal. Either way, they accumulate. We carry them everywhere, to and from school and work, at home while raising our children, at our places of worship, anytime we try to advance.

Love doesn’t define you and don’t let it

Michelle’s love story and the way she settled down is a fairy tale indeed. You need to have your hold when you are in a relationship. Happiness might give you an impression that it depends on the physical presence and emotional fallback to the availability of your partner, but in reality it isn’t.

It was possible that I was more in charge of my happiness than I was allowing myself to be.

Your partner’s vision and ambition shouldn’t be overshadowing on you. Instead it should be the one that would pave way for you to grow and bring out the best in you. This is exactly what Michelle talks about. She also includes qualities that help in making the marriage hold together, but also makes you understand that in addition to compatibility adjustment/flexibility is equally important to hold the family together.

The answer, I’m guessing, is probably the best and most sustaining answer to nearly every question arising inside a marriage, no matter who you are or what the issue is: You find ways to adapt. If you’re in it forever, there’s really no choice.

Our partners might not have the same vision as us and something that would seem different than what we thought,but that does not mean even in the literal sense that you do not love them and vice versa. The key is in the commitment that the partners take where in you make the relationship work helping you both achieve what you wanted not without your hearts beating for each other.

Just like everyone of us she wasn’t prepared motherhood because she also found it exhausting. The fact that her hubster could go to the gym and she had to struggle with kids made it even worse. She then realized that instead of cribbing on that she could find ways to make time for herself.

My favourite quotes

“So many of us go through life with our stories hidden, feeling ashamed or afraid when our whole truth doesn’t live up to some established ideal.”


“Now I think it’s one of the most useless questions an adult can ask a child—What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.”


“Inspiration on its own was shallow; you had to back it up with hard work.”


“It was possible, I knew, to live on two planes at once—to have one’s feet planted in reality but pointed in the direction of progress.”


“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”

This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.

Posted on

Lessons from Think and grow rich

A classic book that analyses the life of successful men . The secret to their success and these are men from all walks of life.

So if you’re looking to learn the secrets to wealth, this book is unquestionably the best choice.

The book was first published in 1937 and has sold over 70 million copies.

The first word in the title Think shows you that the main thing to focus on is the mindset.

The book gives in detail the thirteen steps to building wealth. These are the thirteen steps to riches.

““The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat.” – Napoleon Hill

Having a burning desire

The most critical word here to note is burning. A lukewarm or a normal temperature desire will not have an effect. As life goes on, notice what lights you up well enough that prepares you to commit accomplishing that no matter what.

A burning desire is the actually the one which ignites the beginning of your dream.

Organized plan and refining it

“A quitter never wins – and – a winner never quits.” – Napoleon Hill

When you dream of something which isn’t followed by a plan, it’s just a mere wish. It’s always good to think about the dream that gives you happy memories but keep in mind that getting to make it reality which actually putting up a plan will zero your chances.

A dream requires more than a desire. You need to take right actions. And to know the right times to take the right actions you need to have a recognised plan. The organized plan will become your roadmap to success.

Adapting and preparing for adversity

Problems crop up even with the best plans in hand. This is an inevitable part of human life but what you need to focus on is how to handle teh adversity.

The book highlights how all successful people handled adversity and the one important thing they all did. It is to see the good in every problem.

“Every adversity has within it the seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”

Finding the good in whatever situation it may be no matter how worse it is , was the one most successful people practiced. This is one crucial step for you to succeed.

Great team

You can never accumulate great wealth single handedly. You need the help of others. Just surround yourself with good people.

You as a person single handedly cannot assume and do everything on your own nor you are aware of all what you should be doing. You need a team to create your dream to reality.

Fear of criticism

As per Napoleon there are six fears which stop people attaining riches.

  • The fear of poverty
  • The fear of criticism
  • The fear of ill health
  • The fear of loss of love of someone
  • The fear of old age
  • The fear of death

The fear of criticism in the above is considered the most powerful and certainly one that affects us the most.

It makes you lose hope and feel dejected which is why most people feel very uncomfortable to receive it.

This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.

Posted on

Lessons from Lean In

If it’s one book that talks about women to work hard and claim their position, then Shery Sandberg’s Lean in is the one that you should be reaching out for.

It’s the one book that helped me shape my thoughts and think from the perspective of a woman. What the book constantly iterated was the you already have the skills that you need to achieve and don’t be afraid to reach for what you want.

Let me list down the takeaways.

The impostor syndrome and everyone has their dose

All the while there was at least one moment where the thought ‘ I can’t do it’ had cropped. But women in particular would have faced this a lot. You needn’t know everything right now to excel in your future roles. If you take an example a lot of many managers will not know the right answer to many questions. But all that you need to understand is that the empowerment you get when you learn from the situation and have a good team that helps you in giving an honest feedback.

Mentor

Finding a right mentor will definitely help you in reaching what you want a lot quicker. The reason is that they will be able to tell you in a straight forward manner what would work and what wouldn’t. So if you invest the time in sincerely finding out the right mentor you are sure to reap countless returns.

Finding goal and it’s path but not others

The best lesson from the book would actually be the part where it says don’t measure your success with other people’s ruler. There is no one fixed path that would right away take you towards success. And no person has the right to portray their opinion on how slow or how fast you take the steps in achieving success. The best way would be to put a map that portrays the next eighteen months of your life and few more years and from there discuss with your mentor for a doable plan that helps you out.

Define your limits at home – you can’t have it all

Do not fear to know your limits. Each one of us has a different set of priorities where the work can not always be the top. Together we should be supportive of ourselves and colleagues to find a work life balance.

The key to more success is owning success

We need to share each other’s success and help in promoting each other. Be comfortable in sharing personal successes. You are the best advocate of yourself so the next time don’t worry to share your success on social media. This is not shameful.

Sit at the table

Sit at the table would mean that you’d have to feel worthy of sitting with others on the table. The thought process that portrays you don’t deserve this, you aren’t good enough and your currently here because of others has to be terminated. Make sure to put value on yourself cause if you don’t believe that you are good enough who else will?

You don’t need to be loved by others

If you keep thinking what people would think of your job, family, decisions you can’t go farther from where you are.

If you take classic example of a male and female at work say Henry and Harkin. Both are respected but if there has to be a choice it will be Henry because he is more appealing and Harkin is selfish and not someone who should be hired.

Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. Our stereotype of men holds that they are providers, decisive, and driven. Our stereotype of women holds that we are caregivers, sensitive, and communal.

Women who want to achieve and are ambitious are often seen to be arrogant, not being team player and someone difficult to work with.

If you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress.

Don’t leave before you leave

Don’t leave your job before you actually need to leave it. Don’t look for the entry with the exit in mind. So next time don’t hit the brakes. Take a deep breath and slow down. Only a challenging, and well rewarding job will begin to make that choice a fair contest.

Partner a real partner

If men and women in the house are working women do more of house work and childcare. But you can’t blame it on the men because both have their own things.

The belief that mothers are more committed to family than to work penalizes women because employers assume they won’t live up to expectations of

professional dedication. The reverse is true for men, who are expected to put their careers first. We judge men primarily by their professional success and send them a clear message that personal achievements are insufficient for them to be valued or feel fulfilled.

Women often reject help because they feel they can do it faster rather than let the partner try it out. Women need help and they need to accept.

Women must understand and agree to have their partner help and men must understand and help in supporting the woman’s career.

Work hard

Good job performance leads to good rewards. Most of us believe in this. This is called tiara syndrome wherein we wait for someone to appreciate our efforts. We needn’t wait for any miracle to happen.

We should take risks, challenges and not be ashamed to ask for promotion.

This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.

Posted on

Lessons from the Secret

Published in 2006, translated into 44 languages worldwide and sold over 20 million copies, the Secret by Rhonda Byrne should definitely be one of the books that you should read before turning 30.

The book garners the secret to achieve what you want. The book lets you know in detail what you need to wish for or how in order to achieve it.

The premises of the law of attraction is what the book clearly outlays. It goes like,

Basically, the law of attraction tells us whatever we will believe, we will manifest. If we believe we are deserving of great love, then we will manifest it. If we believe we are going to be poor, we’re going to stay poor. If we believe we don’t deserve something, it’s not going to come to us. Sounds pretty amazing, right?

Makes it very simple to understand that what you think becomes the reality . So the thoughts you have deep down will have a direct impact on what you manifest

Let me quickly take you through the lessons from this book.

The law of attraction

“The law of attraction is the greatest and most infallible law upon which the entire system of creation depends.”

What you think and what you focus attracts things that you want in life just similar to how gravity pulls things down.

Thinking is the starting point

Emotions, actions, habits, career, beliefs, speech, values whatever we give out is based on what we think.

What you see around yourself today was someone else’s thought in the past that was brought to reality.

Now that understanding that the way you think will be the starting point, if there is a change that you want you know where to start making it.

The present circumstance is a result of your past thoughts so the future you want to see will depend on what your thoughts are today.

You attract what you focus on

Whatever you focus on is what you will attract.

Say if you focus on promotion and vacation you get it. On the other hand if you focus on what you don’t want, ( debts) you get that too.

Most people are thinking about what they don’t want, and they’re wondering why it shows up over and over again.”

People predominantly focus on what they don’t want and without knowing since they focus a lot on it, they tend to attract it.

So if you want something, make it happen in your thoughts, think all the time about it and make sure you focus and also put in your energy into it.

Negative word attraction

The universe doesn’t understand negative words.

Say no, don’t, doesn’t and not. So when you put that in your thought your actually attracting it from the universe.

I don’t want to be poor= I want to be poor

I don’t want to fail = I want to fail

So make sure you think about only what you want. So instead of putting it as I don’t want to fail. Think of it as I will be successful or even better would be that I am successful.

Listen to your feelings

Paying close attention to feelings lets you understand your thoughts. This is what the Secret teaches you.

Let’s take an example of how we feel now?

Happy feeling= happy thoughts

Dejected feelings= dejected thoughts

Jealous feelings= jealous thoughts

The secret tells you to shift focus on what you want when you feel sad, angry or dejected. This will be the solution to your problem, shifting focus from what you don’t want to what you want.

The sooner you switch to positive focus, the more positive your thoughts will be and thereby will be attracting the same from universe.

Three step to success: ask, believe and receive

Ask : Whatever you desire or want to ask, make sure you go down to be specific.

Say instead of saying I want to be successful say I want to become successful in my new venture by two months.

And now if that doesn’t happen in two months you cannot exclaim this approach failed. Let’s look into step two.

Believe : you will attract only what you believe in.

Let’s consider the example from above where you mentioned you want to be successful in your new venture, but somewhere down inside you are still doubtful if you will make it, makes its clear that you don’t believe in what you want.

So first you need to believe that what you wish for is attainable. Only then the universe would be convinced.

So becoming successful in your new venture is something that you are doubtful of in two months, how can the universe be convinced? Sounds legit ?

Receive: So once you start believing pretend that you’ve attained it and start living with it.

This will tube you into the right frequency and also tune your energy completely to receive it.

So if you want to be a designer, keep telling yourself each that you’re a designer which will mould the behavior by creating your role and design with that mindset.

The behavior of having received it, will make you commit actions which help in achieving that goal.

Being grateful

“The power of gratitude stands above everything else. If you only do one thing with the knowledge of the Secret use gratitude until it becomes your way of life.”

The biggest secret is to be grateful for what you already have in life and to be thankful for what you want to receive in future.

This gives a good vibe and also a lot of positive thoughts. Being grateful helps in shifting focus from what you don’t have to what you have.

“Each morning before you get out of bed, make it a habit to feel the feelings of gratitude in advance for the great day ahead, as though it is done.”

I could continue to keep on writing about this book but I’d really love if you could grab a copy of this life changer and read the remaining secrets.

This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla and sponsored by Bakez by Daizy.

Posted on

Lessons from the subtle art of not giving a f*ck

Most often you can compare the relationship with books to the relationship you have with people. Two parts of the relationship one of which is you and the other is outside you that is either the book or the people. The timing when you read is also important in the relationship with the book. It helps you understand what problems you are looking to solve, what is the perspective gained and what you yearn from the validation.

Mark Manson’s bright orange book and one of the best sellers ‘The subtle art of not giving a fu*k’ can never be missed from sight. Your neighbour or a co-traveller or a colleague at work are sure to have seen reading this book.

The title of the book sure did make a lot of heads turn and eyeballs rolling. I can confidently say that this is one of the best influential books till date and almost everyone who would have read the book will agree with me in unison.

The outcome of reading the book will help in making you understand a bit more about the way you process things and your priorities. It helps in confidently letting you draw a line between what is actually important and what is not.

People misplace values a lot more often and give importance to things that don’t hold much value and what happens is that they miss out on things that really matters to them. They live a life that is not very fulfilling.Have you realized this at any point of time in your life? Or if you feel you are doing this, you should definitely be picking this book up.

Not having the “best” is the secret to fulfilling life


People are made to believe that they live life king size or lead a good life when they have the nest in everything. This is the main reason or the factor that misleads people to run behind material happiness. The best job, the best property, find the right match as spouse, car and what not. Running behind these people fail to enjoy little things and don’t lead a fulfilling life.
These are superficial and make you believe that you’re leading a great life, but they can get you depressed during your journey of want.

Pick your battles wisely. Invest your energy where it matters.


“Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fck about what’s truly fck-worthy.”


You need to invest your time and energy on things which really matter to you. Those which bring you real happiness and play a part in you leading a meaningful life. You cannot go behind everything you see. When you learn to distinguish what really matters to you that is when you become matured.


Failure is a part of life. Failure is how you learn and grow.


“If you take an example of a toddler trying to learn to walk, he/she will fall down and hurt themself hundreds of times. But you should also realise that the kid at no one point will have a thought of agreeing to the fact that this isn’t my cup of it, since I’m not good at it.


You can’t ever really “find yourself” because who you are willing constantly change, and that’s a good thing.


Remaining humble in giving out opinions or judgements and willingness to accept the differences in people is being made to force upon you when you really don’t know who you are, Let it be that way. Let each day be a learning to discovering new things about you. This is make you strive to find more about you.


Suffering is essential to growth

“We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change”.

Mark says that suffering is inevitable and knowing that it plays a major role in growth is actually better. Discomfort, suffering and pain will eventually lead you to grow.

Only when there is pain you will seek a change that will lead to growth.

Pain will inspire change because it brings discomfort, and when you feel uncomfortable, you’ll seek comfort, so, ultimately, you are seeking change.

Next time when you feel painful, don’t see it as a hindrance and stay away from it. Feel it, accept it and understand there is a reason that is valid for you to experience it. The more you get used to, the more comfortable and happy you will be for its presence.

Stop searching for happiness and understand that it is already there

People are always on the quest for happiness. It is right there sitting in front of you and can be seen through your eyes, instead we look all around for it failing to realize its existence.

Embrace happiness that is present and start enjoying life leaving the quest to search for something that is not visible to you.

You are individually responsible for all your life events, be it whatever circumstances.

You don’t always have the control on what happens to you, but you do have on how to interpret and how to react or respond. It doesn’t matter if you life it or no you play a major role in what happens within you and to you.



Accepting responsibility for your own problems will be first step to solve them.


You exercise more power in life when you take up more responsibility or accept. The choices you make in the present results in responsibilities. Real learning and improvement in life happens only when we take take up being responsible for our problems.

Click here to purchase your copy.

This post is part of blogchatter’s half marathon.

Posted on

Lessons from how to win friends and influence people

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer who was also the developer for several courses on self-improvement skills and interpersonal skills. He was the author of “ How to win friends and influence people” one of the best selling self-help books till date.

Over a 100 years Dale Carnegie has been helping about 9 million + graduates and helping them out to lead business, career and life through his courses. Though the book, “ How to win friends and influence people” was published in 1936 the principles mentioned hold good and are still deemed the best in improving the self. And the reason being that Dale did not put them out based on trends or fad and they still serve to be the building blocks of social intelligence.
Though the language and references( Abraham Lincoln) that the book contains might seem to be dated, the book was of great help during the Great Depression and one of the books picked up by Warren Buffet.

The book is based on principles that help makes one a successful person in all aspects of life. Becoming a financial success requires 15% of professional knowledge and 85% of the ability to express the ideas, to be a leader and to arouse enthusiasm among others.

The book definitely shows you the sure shot way to not only attain success but also build and establish a career.

Let me take you through the lessons from the book .

Praise others’ achievements

We need to be genuine when we praise people. It has to be lavish is what he exactly says, but at the same time be true. He puts it as,

“Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement,” We all crave to be recognized and appreciated. We also would do almost anything to get that. At the same time, it shouldn’t be something that was said to flatter and be put out showing insincerity.

Be empathetic

“The only way on how to influence people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it”. He also explains by quoting Henry Ford,“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” Looking at a situation from an other person’s perspective sure does help in most situations to frame our actions.

Avoid criticizing, condemning, or complaining.


“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do,” Carnegie writes. “But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”

Being a leader, one should acknowledge the subordinate who doesn’t meet expectations or a competitor whose approach is inferior compared to them. But thus should be done in a way which would acknowledge what is working and encourages improvement

Acknowledging own mistakes

When being a best leader, one should not lionize themselves, to make it appear that they are not flawless.

“Admitting one’s own mistakes — even when one hasn’t corrected them — can help convince somebody to change his behavior,” Carnegie wrote. How true is this? Have you tried this out?

Acknowledging when a mistake is made and admitting to have committed it, is a great step and requires a lot of courage to do so.

Respect others’ dignity

When a leader demotes and employee or lets the employee go away, he/she needs to recognize the person with dignity and not use the opportunity to humiliate them. To be practical, the leader has to remain on good terms with the person who didn’t work out, because there is a future possibility that they might have to cross paths or even have the chance to work together again.

Know the value of charm

Steel magnate Charles Schwab claimed his smile was worth a million bucks — literally. For a man like him, the charm he holds and his capability to make people like him was one of the factors he remained successful. His smile was definitely captivating. So the charm is one of the factors that makes you and the people around you cheerful.

Encourage people to talk about themselves

People tend to relax in tense situations when they talk about things they know and which includes themselves. And when you listen to someone when they speak that would be the greatest compliment you could offer them.

Know when to use suggestions instead of direct orders

Leaders instead of barking orders to employees who instead lead them with suggestions tend to see more success. A classic example would be Owen D. Young , an Industrialist. Helping employees do things by themselves instead of directing them with orders helps them learn from their mistakes.

Be friendly, no matter how angry the other person may be


We are humans and we tend to handle aggression with aggression but instead if the high road is taken by maintaining composure when you make efforts to try and persuade the other person by appreciating their perspective, the result sure is surprising when you know what you just accomplished.

With you being cool and collected the other person sure would be embarrassed themselves.

Reach common ground as soon as possible

Stressing out the opinion or emphasizing things you agree and keep doing it which would put out the message that both of you want or strive for the same ending bu the only difference being in the method that is being implemented and not the purpose.
Carnegie says,”Begin by emphasizing — and keep on emphasizing — the things on which you agree,”

Get others to think your conclusion is their own.


Most persuasive people are the ones who would understand the power of suggestion over demands . This helps to win situations and emphasizes the fact that you cannot force a person to believe something.

He also says that when planting a seed and it blossoms , curb the urge to take credit for it.

Don’t try “winning” an argument

You achieve nothing when you tear apart an argument with another person. Carnegie cites by quoting an old saying, “A man convinced against his will/Is of the same opinion still.” When we need to persuade someone, make sure to avoid argument in the first place.

Click here to purchase your copy.

This post is part of blogchatter’s half marathon.

Posted on

Lessons from Tuesdays with Morrie



I was really not a fan of non-fiction and especially self-help. Gone are the days where people browsed online to improvise their life skills, self-esteem and then came the era of youtube videos. We had a lot of self-help experts pitching in and making videos to help people learn from home.



But however the joy of learning to mould yourself from reading a book. The life lessons that the book imparts on you is sure to leave a lasting impact. Though we do see a lot of things in daily life some memories of events or facts from the books we read linger fresh in our minds no matter the time that passes.



One such book that was gifted to me and really made me think of life in a while new perspective is Mitch Albom’s “ Tuesdays with Morrie”.


The Author’s favourite teacher Morries Schwartz is in his death bed counting his days as he suffers from a chronic disease. The Author meets up with Morrie every Tuesday and the book gives you the events or life lessons that Morrie imparts to Mitch.


People’s perception of their life and the life around them changes when they come to know that they are dying. It is a sequential turn that they take in their journey of life that makes them realize what is important and what is not.



Morrie from his death bed helps Mitch unfold answers to a lot of complex life problems. His slow demise makes Mitch give a deep thought and understands how to deal with life and the complex situations it puts us in.


As Morrie says to Mitch,

 “Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me..” 

But Mitch puts it this way,



“Morrie would walk that final bridge between life and death, and narrate the trip.”



Here are my takeaways and the lessons that I learnt from the book.



1. Questions for self-reflection. Because living a life that is fulfilling deserves answers to these questions.


Have you found someone to share your heart with?
Are you giving to your community?
Are you at peace with yourself?
Are you trying to be as human as you can be?

We may or may not have come across these questions but if we do have the answers we know we’re on the right path.


2.“The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own.”


Morrie explains how the culture is flawed and how should we create one if we do not fit into what exists currently.


3.“Life is a series of pulls back & forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.” 

The above quote explains how Morrie puts the topic of tension of opposites. The confusion of age that brings in what is expected of us to what we actually want. The quote clearly makes you think that we humans suffer consequences of our self-created problems. We put ourselves into complicated situations.



4.“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’ve been chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Preserving humanity is the greatest cause to which we must devote ourselves when we need happiness and satisfaction.



5.“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and how to let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love. We think, if we let it in, we’ll become too weak.  But, a wise man named Lenin said it right. He said, “Love is the only rational act.”

The universe exists and survives on love. The very basis of humanity is love and so,
the most important lesson that we learn is how to give out love and how to let it inside?

6.
“Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?”  We quite often avoid or are embarrassed by silence failing to realize that silence, solitude and loneliness are the gift to mankind.


7.
“Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back”

In a nutshell trust and faith should come from within. If we want others to have trust in us, we should also have the same in them. This will not make you feel envious.

8.

“Everyone knows they are going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.”
Living is fear of death will never be the answer, when we fail to accept that death is a part of our life and is inevitable. Learning to take time of things that matter and living life to the fullest is the key that will help you in accepting the fact.

Morrie suggests doing what Buddhists do, which is: “Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?’”

Click here to purchase your copy.

This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.