If it’s one book that talks about women to work hard and claim their position, then Shery Sandberg’s Lean in is the one that you should be reaching out for.
It’s the one book that helped me shape my thoughts and think from the perspective of a woman. What the book constantly iterated was the you already have the skills that you need to achieve and don’t be afraid to reach for what you want.
Let me list down the takeaways.
The impostor syndrome and everyone has their dose
All the while there was at least one moment where the thought ‘ I can’t do it’ had cropped. But women in particular would have faced this a lot. You needn’t know everything right now to excel in your future roles. If you take an example a lot of many managers will not know the right answer to many questions. But all that you need to understand is that the empowerment you get when you learn from the situation and have a good team that helps you in giving an honest feedback.
Finding a right mentor will definitely help you in reaching what you want a lot quicker. The reason is that they will be able to tell you in a straight forward manner what would work and what wouldn’t. So if you invest the time in sincerely finding out the right mentor you are sure to reap countless returns.
Finding goal and it’s path but not others
The best lesson from the book would actually be the part where it says don’t measure your success with other people’s ruler. There is no one fixed path that would right away take you towards success. And no person has the right to portray their opinion on how slow or how fast you take the steps in achieving success. The best way would be to put a map that portrays the next eighteen months of your life and few more years and from there discuss with your mentor for a doable plan that helps you out.
Define your limits at home – you can’t have it all
Do not fear to know your limits. Each one of us has a different set of priorities where the work can not always be the top. Together we should be supportive of ourselves and colleagues to find a work life balance.
The key to more success is owning success
We need to share each other’s success and help in promoting each other. Be comfortable in sharing personal successes. You are the best advocate of yourself so the next time don’t worry to share your success on social media. This is not shameful.
Sit at the table
Sit at the table would mean that you’d have to feel worthy of sitting with others on the table. The thought process that portrays you don’t deserve this, you aren’t good enough and your currently here because of others has to be terminated. Make sure to put value on yourself cause if you don’t believe that you are good enough who else will?
You don’t need to be loved by others
If you keep thinking what people would think of your job, family, decisions you can’t go farther from where you are.
If you take classic example of a male and female at work say Henry and Harkin. Both are respected but if there has to be a choice it will be Henry because he is more appealing and Harkin is selfish and not someone who should be hired.
Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. Our stereotype of men holds that they are providers, decisive, and driven. Our stereotype of women holds that we are caregivers, sensitive, and communal.
Women who want to achieve and are ambitious are often seen to be arrogant, not being team player and someone difficult to work with.
If you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress.
Don’t leave before you leave
Don’t leave your job before you actually need to leave it. Don’t look for the entry with the exit in mind. So next time don’t hit the brakes. Take a deep breath and slow down. Only a challenging, and well rewarding job will begin to make that choice a fair contest.
Partner a real partner
If men and women in the house are working women do more of house work and childcare. But you can’t blame it on the men because both have their own things.
The belief that mothers are more committed to family than to work penalizes women because employers assume they won’t live up to expectations of
professional dedication. The reverse is true for men, who are expected to put their careers first. We judge men primarily by their professional success and send them a clear message that personal achievements are insufficient for them to be valued or feel fulfilled.
Women often reject help because they feel they can do it faster rather than let the partner try it out. Women need help and they need to accept.
Women must understand and agree to have their partner help and men must understand and help in supporting the woman’s career.
Good job performance leads to good rewards. Most of us believe in this. This is called tiara syndrome wherein we wait for someone to appreciate our efforts. We needn’t wait for any miracle to happen.
We should take risks, challenges and not be ashamed to ask for promotion.
This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.
15 Replies to “Lessons from Lean In”
Wonderful take aways. My favorite is you don’t need to be loved by others. Most of the times, women look for assurance from others for many things. They want to be loved by all and in the quest, they put their aspirations , likes, dislikes on stake. They do things so that they will be loved and appreciated.
I strongly believe in concept of work and family life balance and yes, each one has their own priorities. define your own limits and being satisfied with what you have is very essential to having a feeling of self contentment in life. loved all the lessons shared in this post.
Motherhood is always defined as mother being home to takecare of home. Unless setting her own boundries that would make things work for her and yes priorities matter as well. good review
I personally liked the Tiara syndrome and I will admit I had thay phase when I quit my job and chose to be a full time mom when I knw I could Excell better at work than home and seaked appreciation for small things as I felt that work was not for me but I still did it…. however I’m out of that phase and I am happy I found my self again with my writing.
I totally agree that there should be a balance in life on both fronts, and we need to understand our value and love for being ourselves.
I haven’t read the book frankly but I’m planning to pick up the same sometime this week. Looks like an interesting read. I agree with the author that we need to hone skills that would eventually help us achieve our goals and shouldn’t be afraid to reach wherever we want.
Loved the concept of the book totally. This is my type of book indeed. Going to checkout for sure.
I am a huge fan of Sheryl Sandberg and her ideologies in life. Would love to read this book and get to know more about her. Loved how you have reviewed this book of her. It definitely makes me want to pick this up and find balance in my life
My introduction to the imposter syndrome was during Netflix time and I could connect immediately to it. Yes, having goals is important in life but not at the cost of mental health and peace. I like the message this book and your post taking it forward to all the readers.
This is very necessary to keep a proper balance on both the fronts of life . Love yourself is first and after that we can love anyone else properly.
Don’t look for the entry with the exit in mind. Wow.. Very well said. Always enjoy the process instead of looking for the end product. I agree that self limiting belief is one thing that do not allow most of us knowing our true potential.
“u don’t need to be loved by others” is so true in my case. I wouldn’t have progressed had I kept thinking about what others say.
That’s very thoughtful read. So many things to learn and get inspired from. Absolutely we can’t please everyone at the same time
This is a very inspirational book indeed. Every woman who wants to become successful in both professional and personal life, can take cues from here.
Imposter syndrome is real and like you said is more prominent in women. Self-doubt can be a huge roaddblock. I like the positive ways in which this book motivates women.