Good and bad. How to teach your kids to make good choices. Observe, think and decide.

Do we know that telling a child “to make positive or good choices” has an important part to play in molding the behavior.

Such challenging behaviors like the one above make parents struggle on a day-to-day basis.

Making good choices could be compared to learning how to tie shoes for your kids; this skill would develop progressively over time as they mature. Children need a lot of molding and support when it comes to learning how to make good choices. They don’t mean to make bad choices; they just need more practice and support in making good ones.

Part of raising kids is preparing them for the world and life on their own by preparing them with the skills necessary to both succeed and cope with failures.

The real world we live in is full of disappointment, consequences, hearing a no, and doing things I would rather not. That’s how life is. Therefore, preparing my child with the means to handle all that is important. Therefore, to inspire my daughter’s independence and to nurture her emotional intelligence, I want to parent her in a way that she knows she is loved and I believe in her, but that she also knows what it’s like to fail or to make the wrong decision.

“Failure is not fatal”. People know me as a perfectionist, to me it felt like mistakes were killing me from the inside. Honestly, I have never emotionally conquered the concept of failure; even small mess ups sometimes feel like the end of the world to me. I waver in my own decision making very often because I do not like living with even the small consequences.

Teaching your child to make choices is one of the most important elements of raising a well-behaved child.

From big choices (“Should I opt for high profile PR job and move to abroad or stay home to take care of the kids?”) to little choices (“Dessert or salad?”), every decision we make has complications.

Being self-disciplined is understanding and taking responsibility for making life’s choices. A major part of parenting well is to help your child learn the challenging skill of making positive, suitable choices. A gain of sense control over own life is gained by a child, when he/she is skilled at consciously making choices will understand their own needs. Choice-making also helps teach internal discipline, organization, and prioritizing. Children learn how to make big choices by watching you do it, and by gaining experience through making little choices.

Teaching choice to your child: TIPS

  • Never give a choice you aren’t willing to follow through on. That means when you say, “Either you tidy your room or we are not going out to eat,” you should be prepared to start cooking. It also means if you say, “Tidy your room and I’ll take you to a posh restaurant in town,” you need to be prepared make reservations.
  • It’s your responsibility to keep your child safe and healthy. Keep food choices healthy, and allow your child to choose what to eat. If your kid chooses to eat only cookies and dessert, stop having them as a choice.
  • Unless your child is very skilled at choice-making and your budget is unlimited, never offer choices without restrictions. Give them an “either/or” if they are young.
  • When a child is making choices about her behavior, you can point out the choice and the consequences of it.
  • Older children can use choices to learn how to prioritize
  • Once a child makes a choice, lay off on the options, don’t continue to offer choices.
  • Once a choice has been made, be clear as to when it becomes final.

What if the child does not like the choice made?

This is hard for a strong, reasonable parent to watch. Nobody enjoys watching a child be disappointed. But making a choice necessitates learning to live with the choice that’s been made. Disappointment is a good teaching tool, and discipline is teaching.

Teaching consequences of choice that was made

  • When she experiences failure or disappointment, she has to handle it with stability and not feel like it’s the end of the world.
  • When her friends are doing something that she feels is not right, she will not blindly follow, but she will have the anticipation to see what consequence may be ahead of her.
  • When she has a decision that did not turned out as planned, she would have emotional stamina to pull herself up and not feel defeated.
  • When she is faced with defending what she believes and her faith she will not hesitate or be embarrassed in any circumstance.
  • When she experiences rejection, she knows that was not her choice and it will just stimulate her to be even better and more assertive.

The book Teaching with love and logic by Jim Fay and David Funk is beautifully written about how to empower children and help them learn how to make good choices. Creating stronger relationships with students can lead to more cooperation is one major take away from this book.

Basically, Love and Logic shows you how to avoid power struggles and offer choices to children. Instead of controlling children’s behavior and making all their choices for them, it empowers children to make their own choices. When children feel empowered they learn more. They learn more because less time is spent trying to control their behavior.

Enforceable statements are invites instead of demands. When you demand that a child does something they may refuse because they feel controlled, but when you invite them to do something they are much more likely to do it.

When kids don’t make good choices:

  • Avoid making demands
  • Avoid making threats
  • Avoid power struggles
  • Offer them choices
  • Use logical consequences

So mommies let us raise a child who is independent to make good choices and live happily because of it.

Does my baby love me ? How do I know that ?.Read through the signs to know

Talking in reality, babies are small and cannot be expected to reciprocate or give a feedback after the tiring hours of delivery and sleepless nights. But as time goes one, we got along and got to know each other forming a blissful bond. As I started taking care of her, she loved

me more and reciprocated in her own ways.

Babies can recognize their primary caretaker within the first few weekswhich actually would be the mom in most cases. This is definitely with the help of the tiny nose. A baby can rightly identify mom by the scent of the milk.

Most important point to note is we need to be an expert to know what they cry for. Persistent and desperate usually means they are hungry and need a feed, unexpected might mean discomfort, and more lamenting can signal discomfort. This is all possible only by trial and error, eventually grasping nuances that will confuse outsiders. The better we understand their language, the better we can attend to their needs. As parents if we respond when she is in distress she learns she can count on them for comfort and relief and that she is important to us. In fact, research shows that caregivers are in perfect sync with their babies only about 40 percent of the time. It does take time for us to learn to recognize and retort when she needs us.

Within the first month, she started responding to my facial expressions and without thinking about it, I started doing it right back at her. I mean the little smiles, the meaningful looks, timidly looking away and back again. These kind of games appear to be as important in strengthening a baby’s affection as your responses to her physical needs. Face-to-face interaction is part of how babies learn about positive give-and-take. She started realizing that with a single look, she can show me how pleased she is to have me around; and that it’s a feeling worth sharing, since I’ll smile back.

The first true social smiles start between 6 and 8 weeks. The signals that the baby is starting to associate your face with feeling good. The bond deepens!

Babies start giving out kisses at about when they are one-year-old. No these are not the peck on the cheek kinds. I was lucky enough to experience this when she was four months. These are wet but loaded with love. Babies love being held, but at six months they have the physical and cognitive ability to hold arms up and ask for pick-me up. This would express how much they’ve trust and adore their parents. And on days when we feel gloomy or depressed this one hug or pick-me up is enough to make it all gone away… Far far away I mean.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery must have known to toddlers. Whether she’s running around with a handbag or putting on a stole, she shows me how cool I am. Toddlers imitate the activities and behaviors of the people they love most.

The fact that your toddler runs to you for comfort—and then can dry her eyes and run off—means she loves and needs you.

Babies don’t have to be that hurt to come to you weeping. Even a minor mishap can make for big drama if the mother is around to see it. My girl gives me pout lowering her head seeking attention. Now that’s a plea for attention, but it really does make her feel better to get proof that I love her as much as she loves me.

She reserves her bad behavior only for me. When I have people visiting her or I leave her at mom’s place to run an errand all I get to hear is “She’s such an angel”. When I am actually at home I be like” Tell me about it!! “.

She gets possessive when I lift other kids. She is all normal and suddenly gets too hyper when I lift another kid. Sometimes I do that only to get her attention.

So Mommies shower your love and get that bond building up.

Does Your Baby Suffer Stranger Anxiety/ Separation Anxiety? What, When And How To Tackle?

This is usually demonstrated by crying when an unknown or unfamiliar person approaches. Normally it starts at about 8 – 9 months and usually subsides by age 2 years. S

tranger anxiety is related with the child’s developmental task of distinguishing the acquainted from the unacquainted. Both the duration and intensity of the nervousness(anxiety) vary greatly among kids.

Some babies show a strong preference for one parent over another at a certain age, and grandparents may suddenly be viewed as strangers. Anticipating these happenings during visits helps prevent misinterpretation of the behavior. Comforting the child and avoiding overreaction to the behavior are usually the only therapy needed.

If a new person is coming, having that person spend some time with the family before the actual day makes sense. When the event arrives, having parents spend some time with the child and sitter before they leave is prudent. If grandparents are coming to watch the child for a few days while parents go away, they should arrive a day or two early.

Stranger anxiety of pronounced intensity may be a sign of more generalized anxiety and should prompt evaluation of the family situation, parenting techniques, and the child’s overall emotional state.

The day-to-day relationship between baby and parents, not the degree of anxiety when meeting strangers is the best measure of emotional health in the baby.

Stranger anxiety is a normal part of a child’s cognitive development Parents are concerned about educatingtheir children to be cautious when approached by unfamiliar people. However, we need to find a balance between concern and encouragement of their natural inquisitiveness and friendliness, while at the same time teaching them that they should always rely on parental supervision and consent in dealing with outsiders.

Stranger anxiety can sometimes upset friends and relatives, who may feel rejected by a suddenly introverted child. The baby may reject a caregiver he/she was previously comfortable with or grow hysterical when relatives visit. This can be unsatisfying for us, since the baby may reject the parent who is not the principal caregiver. Parents should respect the child’s fear and allow her to approach people as she is able. If the child does not want to be hugged by or sit with a relative, it is ill-advised to force her. In the long run, children outgrow their fear and become more easy-going with strangers.

Safe attachment and social referencing

Around 8-9 months’ babies would have reached an important milestone in the development of an attachment to their mother. Babies with a healthy attachment relationship prefer being near their mother, because mother is the person who helps them with their physical and emotional needs.

Although they may move away from mother to explore, they will still look back at her face for assurance when they’re not sure about something. This is called ‘social referencing’.

Person permanence

Most babies at this stage would have developed an understanding of person permanence (that people still exist when they can’t be seen). Whereas before they had to be able to physically see mother to know she existed, they can now hold a picture of her in their mind.

When baby can’t see mother, they may become upset and terrible in response to the separation. It’s still better for mum to tell baby she’s leaving, rather than hoping baby won’t notice her going.

So always wave a goodbye and say that you will be back sooner to comfort the child.

Separation anxiety- what is it?

Separation anxiety is when a baby becomes worried or upset when they’re separated from the person who cares for them the most — often it’s the mother. Babies understand that people leave before they learn that people return. They can tell from your actions that you are about to leave. Anxiety begins to build even before you leave. Upset and crying occur at the time of separation , sleep difficulties are common.

This usually develops in the second half of the first year.

How can you reduce this or tackle this?

    1. Practice to stay away for short durations.
    2. Introduce strangers early.
    3. Try distracting the baby when you leave
    4. Always leave when she feels good that when she well fed or not sleepy.
    5. Learn to say goodbye which would signal that you will not be available.
    6. Don’t look back.
    7. Don’t fall for the tears, they are short lived.

What is potty training ? When and how to start ? Do’s and dont’s

What is potty training?

Potty training is training your toddler to use potty, so he/she can get rid of wearing diapers.

What the best age to start potty training?

Healthy children aren’t physically and emotionally ready to start using a potty until they are between 18 months and three years old. Boys tend to be ready a few months later than girls. Most parents start the training when their children are between two years and three years old.

The physical maturity and readiness skills needed for successful toilet learning appear at the same time in girls and boys-between 18 and 30 months of age. The average age for girls to be toilet trained is 29 months, and for boys it’s 31 months.

Please note these are just the average months and not exact.

Age shouldn’t be the deciding factor in beginning potty training.

This varies individually among each child and is something that needn’t be compared to.

The key is making sure your child is physically and developmentally ready

How do you know that your child is ready to be potty trained?

· Pulling a wet or dirty diaper.

· Hiding to pee or poop.

· Interest in others’ use of the potty

· Copying adult potty behavior.

· Having a dry diaper for a longer-than-usual time.

· Awakening dry from a nap.

· Telling out that they’re about to go, are going or have just gone in their diaper.

Bowel or bladder control? What comes first?

Most children achieve bowel and bladder control between 24 and 48 months of age. Bowel control occurs before bladder control.

Sequence of control

· Bowel control at night

· Bowel control during the day

· Bladder control during the day

· Bladder control at night

It is normal to wet the bed until age six for a girl and age seven for a boy.

Steps to train your toddler

· Let them watch and learn – Show them how it is done ie. How to undress and sit.

· Buy the right equipment – Getting the right type of potty seat plays a vital role in your training. Try going for choices which would make the kid want to come back and not whine, when taken.

· Help your child get comfortable with the potty – make sure the child feels comfortable sitting on it.

· Motivate with cool underwear- Make them wear underwear with their favorite cartoon characters or motifs. Make them wear it without fuss.

· Set up a training schedule- Prepare a schedule, and stick on to it. It will slowly become a routine.

· Teach to sit and wipe- Help them sit on the potty or if you are using a toilet seat cover, make sure its sturdy when they sit.

· Set aside some naked time – Give them some diaper/ underwear free time. So that they will feel the urge when they need to pee/poop.

· Celebrate triumphs – Once they start doing it the right way, keep encouraging them with small treats.

Role of book and videos in potty training:

Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi, is a lasting favorite. Where’s the Poop? and Once Upon a Potty, comes in a version with a doll and miniature potty. Potty by Leslie patricelli is another good book.

Several board books are now available to encourage children and make them learn in a fun way.

Gender specific titles are also available.

You could also show them an animated video, showing them how their favorite character also is being potty trained.

Many parents deal with potty training as something over which they have total control. Parents are a big contributor to their child’s development, but they don’t really control it. Parents are there to facilitate, to guide, to reinforce and to praise, but parents shouldn’t put pressure on themselves that if they do a series of steps, the children will achieve a certain outcome.”

If you feel like you’ve been changing diapers forever, you’re not alone.

Do not compare your child, this varies individually and is not something to boast about if your child has mastered it very early. Children take their own time to get comfortable and used to it. After all, its nature’s call and cannot be missed but would be taken at the right time and right place.

When does a child start talking ? What to look for and when to seek help ?

The most demanding period for acquiring speech and language skills is the first 3 years of life, when the brain is developing and maturing. These skills are best developed in a world that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to the speech and language of others.

There are certain critical periods for speech and language development in infants and young children. This is the period when the brain is best able to absorb language. If these periods are missed without exposure to language, it will lead to learning difficulties.

Milestones for speech and language development

When an infant learns that a cry will bring food, comfort, and company that is when the first signs of communication occurs. Newborn babies begin to recognize key sounds in their environment, such as the voice of their mother or primary caretaker. Babies begin to sort out the speech sounds that compose the words of their language as they progress in growth. Most babies recognize the basic sounds of their native language by 6 months of age.

The development of speech and language skills in children differs. They follow a natural advancement or timetable for mastering the skills of language. There are certain milestones which help doctors and professionals determine if a child is on track or if the child may need extra help. Sometimes a delay may be caused by hearing loss, while other times it may be due to a speech or language disorder.

How to nurture your baby’s language development?

1. Talk, talk, talk. …

2. Read, read, read. …

3. Enjoy music together. …

4. Tell stories. …

5. Follow your child’s lead. …

6. Never criticize your child’s articulation or speech patterns. …

7. Use television and computers sparingly. …

8. Treat ear infections thoroughly.

Language development varies considerably between children, even within the same family. However, they tend to follow a natural progression for mastering the skills of language and there are certain ‘milestones’ that can be identified as a rough guide to normal development.

Children develop their speech at an individual rate but there are certain milestones to be aware of.

Development of speech over time

Babies need to learn how language sounds before being able to learn how to speak.

Although children improve at their own rate, there are some general patterns:

  • From 1-3 months of age, babies cry and coo
  • At 4 to 6 months of age, babies sigh, grunt, gurgle, squeal, laugh and make different crying sounds.
  • Between 6-9 months, babies babble in syllables and start imitating tones and speech sounds.
  • Between 12 months, a baby’s first words usually appear, and by 18 months to 2 years’ children use around 50 words.
  • Between 2-3 years, sentences extend to 4 and 5 words. Children can recognize and identify almost all common objects and pictures.
  • Between 3-5 years, conversations become longer, and more abstract and complex.
  • By the time a child turns 5, they usually have a 2,500-word vocabulary and talk in complete, grammatically correct sentences. They ask a lot of ‘why?’, ‘what?’ and ‘who?’ questions.

How can parents help?

  • making faces and noises and talking about your activities from the day they’re born
  • playing interactive games like peek-a-boo and singing nursery rhymes
  • looking at books from an early age – you don’t have to read the words, just talk about what you can see
  • talking slowly and clearly and using short, simple sentences.
  • avoiding testing, such as asking ‘What’s this?’, as children learn better without pressure
  • not criticizing wrong words and instead saying the word properly – for example, if your baby points to a dog and says ‘do!’ say: ‘Yes, it’s a dog
  • letting your child lead the conversation and help them expand on their thoughts
  • giving your child lots of opportunities to talk, with plenty of time to answer your questions

Who is a late talker?

A “Late Talker” is a toddler (between 18-30 months) who has good understanding of language, typically developing play skills, motor skills, thinking skills, and social skills, but has a limited spoken vocabulary for his or her age.

When to seek medical help?

  • By 12 months, your child is not trying to communicate with you (using sounds, gestures and/or words), particularly when needing help or wanting something
  • By 2 years, your child has not started combining words.

If your child hasn’t mastered most of the speech and language development milestones for his or her age or you’re concerned about any aspect of your child’s development seek help immediately. Speech delays occur for many reasons, including hearing loss and developmental disorders. Depending on the circumstances, your child’s doctor might refer your child to a hearing specialist or a speech-language pathologist.

In the meantime, talk to your child about what you’re doing and where you’re going. Sing songs and read together. Teach your child to imitate actions, such as clapping, and to say animal sounds. Practice counting. Show your child that you’re pleased when he or she speaks. Listen to your child’s sounds and repeat them back to him or her. These steps can encourage your child’s speech and language development.

Encouraging your toddler to talk

Talk to your toddler as much as possible as you go about your daily routine and when you are out and about. The more you talk to your toddler, the newer words she’ll learn, and the better she’ll get at talking.

Chat to your toddler as you change diapers, feed, or bathe her. But make sure you give give her time to respond with a smile or eye-to-eye contact. Use everyday activities to help your toddler to make connections between actions and objects and the words that represent them. Point out things you see when you’re out and about.

Simplify your speech when you talk to your toddler. Use short sentences and emphasize key words. This will help your toddler to focus on the important information.

Try talking to your toddler from time to time in sentences that are about one word longer than the sentences she is using. So if your child uses two-word sentences, use lots of three-word and four-word sentences when talking back to her. For example, if your toddler says “a bird”, you could say, “yes, a big bird.”

You can increase your child’s vocabulary by giving her choices, such as “Do you want an apple or a pear?”. You could even show your child both an apple and a pear. This helps your toddler to store a picture of the word in her mind.

It will help your toddler to learn how to talk if you make time to sit in front of her and talk to her. You could even sit in front of her when you read a book, rather than have her on your lap, so she can watch you talking.

Look at books with your toddler regularly. Even if you don’t follow the story as it unfolds, your toddler will learn by listening to you talk about the pictures.

I recently came across a site that helps you check if your child is on track. http://www.talkingpoint.org.uk/

They have different choices of months which can be selected. It’s basically a quiz for the parent with their child’s development.

So mommies get going and do the talking.

I owed you one – REVIEW

BLURB

Dev Khanna has it all before a mysterious letter shakes the very foundation he has built his life on. With his beliefs challenged, he decides to close the chapter once and for all. I Owed You One is the story of promises and commitments, of triumphs and defeat, and of holding on and letting go.

MY REVIEW:

A female author narrating from the lead character’s POV is something very different. The thought process, the expression of behaviors and emotion from the authors perspective was bang on like that of a male.

Dev Khanna, a chemical engineer based out of Australia is the main character, who is is happily married to his wife Radhika and has an adorable son named Neel. His life is progressing at a steady pace when suddenly he receives a mysterious letter from his hometown in India. The content of the letter and what it changes in lives of many people is what is the story of I owed you one.

He has always questioned his father’s behavior when he was little. He has seen his father ignoring her mother all the time, coming up with excuses like he has too much of work in his office. Dev noticed his mother’s unhappiness though she would never complain about her husband’s attitude. Growing up in such a family where people are not attached, he often feels neglected by his father. This leaves an contrary effect when he grows up.

The mysterious letter from India just acts as a prompt and this is where starts a voyage filled with emotions, anger, anxiety, etc.

The story is written in a subtle manner and each character plays a crucial role in the novel.

This is a must-read novel if you looking for an interesting story with strong characters. The story is imprinted in a very beautiful manner where relationships are given primary importance.

It explores the family relationships and shows how important it is to bond with your children and how it can affect your children when you’re not emotionally involved with him/her.

The narration flowed easily. Also, the switching between past and present is managed well in the book. It’s very smooth, descriptive and has some amazing word play. It’s very rare to find books with good language these days, either the language is too stiff and difficult to understand or it is amateurish. But, in this book, the author has shown her vocabulary skills.

The author conveys the beautiful message of humanity and peaceful coexistence.

MY RATINGS:

Cover- 3.5 stars

Title- 3.5 stars

Blurb- 4 stars

Plot- 3.5 stars

Writing and Presentation- 3 stars

Overall- 3.7 out of 5 stars

Title – I Owed You One

Author – Madhu Vajpayee

Genre – Fiction / Family Life

Publisher – LiFi Publications

ISBN – 978-93-86191-28-1

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Madhu Vajpayee the writer is born somewhere in those hospital corridors where she has spent the last two decades of her life. Witnessing life at such close quarters pushed her to capture the enigma of life in her words and slowly it became her passion. After writing several medical papers and chapters in books, she started her journey in the literary world. Having done her graduation, MBBS from King Georges Medical University (KGMU), Lucknow she went ahead to pursue her post-graduation, MD Clinical Microbiology from AIIMS, New Delhi.

She was a faculty at All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), New Delhi having been associated with diagnosis and management of patients living with HIV/AIDS besides being actively involved with research and teaching. She is now settled in Melbourne, Australia with her family, where she is devoting most of her time to writing, the passion that she couldn’t pursue earlier because of the demands of medical profession and commitment it requires. When not creating stories, Madhu enjoys reading and traveling.

THEN THE DOOR BELL RANG

BLURB:

One fine morning, Jane wakes up and stands upon the ledge of her 18th floor flat in Dubai Marina. Till a few years back, she was everything that would make anyone jealous – beautiful, rich and successful. But then the wheels of time turned. Today, she is miserable and lonely. Would she get over a deception? Can she forgive herself for deserting a friend? Would she ever find true love? Will karma get the better of her or will life give her another chance to correct the wrongs?
Then the Doorbell Rang is about Jane’s roller-coaster journey as she explores the mystical phenomenon called Life.

Then the Doorbell Rang is about Jane’s roller-coaster journey as she explores the mystical phenomenon called Life.

This was my first thriller novel for the year and my choice did not go wrong, nor did the decision to choose this book let me down.

The book consists of 395 pages, but the first half is enough to captivate any reader to continue further.
The book is filled with simplicity, from the start till the end.

PLOT:

The book revolves around the story of the central character Jane who was deprived of love and care from her initial days. The failure of her parents who did not show out that they cared, when they actually did lead Little Jane into depression. She was left with no hope to live, when destiny took away her loved one.

Though the content mostly deals with human emotions, suspense was the main element focused throughout the novel.

Though a known story line, the treatment with few crumbs of suspense makes the reader get thrilled at some places.

This book shows the twofold faces of every people have – the one that is seen outside and the one within the person. The captivating plot with twists and turns at unanticipated time helps the readers to hook up with the book till the end. Since the narration is by Jane herself it makes it easier for the reader to go with the flow. This book is a treasure of emotions and it brings out the hidden feelings of the readers.
The blurb gives a profound understanding on what’s within the book.

Jane’s life was a series of misfortunate incidents, she held herself through it. This is was Then The Door Bell Rang is all about.
VOCABULARY AND NARRATION:

VOCABULARY AND NARRATION:


Usage of simple, refined language must be appreciated and the narration was not exaggerated at any point. The flow of writing is smooth and has engaging dialogues.

Narration is in flashback and from the point of view of the main character Jane. We are made to think and explore with her.

REVIEW IN ONE LINE:

A good thriller, but a very big book.

MY RATINGS:

Cover- 4 stars
Title- 4 stars

Blurb- 4 stars
Plot- 3.5 stars
Writing and Presentation- 3 stars
Overall- 3.7 out of 5 stars
Title- 4 stars
Blurb- 4 stars
Plot- 3.5 stars
Writing and Presentation- 3 stars
Overall- 3.7 out of 5 stars

Book Title: Then the door bell rang
Author: Capri Jalota
Format: Paper Back
Number of pages : 395
Publisher: Leadstart Publishing Private Limited
Publishing Date: 1st Aug 2017
Printed Price: INR 206
ISBN-10: 9352019504
ISBN-13: 978-9352019502

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

‘Passion is elixir for the soul’ – this is Capri’s mantra for a happy and fulfilling life. He developed a passion for writing and plunged fearlessly into it. This book bears the hallmark of his commitment to his passion.
Human behaviors have always intrigued him. He believes that we are a product of both our circumstances and our choices. Whilst circumstances are often outside our control, how we react to them is very much a conscious and voluntary action. And that ultimately shapes not just us but also our relationships. Our choices and decisions define the role we play in the lives of everyone around us. Sometimes, small gestures can make a big difference. It is this thought which he has tried to encapsulate and portray in his first novel.

Capri is from Chandigarh and has studied Management at IIM Ahmedabad. He has worked for over 13 years in reputed organizations like Maruti Suzuki, Tata Strategic Management Group, Fortis Healthcare and KIMS, across India and the Middle East, before he decided to pen his first novel.
Capri is also an avid numismatist with a collection of over 1000 coins from 100+ countries.
Human behaviors have always intrigued him. He believes that we are a product of both our circumstances and our choices. Whilst circumstances are often outside our control, how we react to them is very much a conscious and voluntary action. And that ultimately shapes not just us but also our relationships. Our choices and decisions define the role we play in the lives of everyone around us. Sometimes, small gestures can make a big difference. It is this thought which he has tried to encapsulate and portray in his first novel.
Capri is from Chandigarh and has studied Management at IIM Ahmedabad. He has worked for over 13 years in reputed organizations like Maruti Suzuki, Tata Strategic Management Group, Fortis Healthcare and KIMS, across India and the Middle East, before he decided to pen his first novel.
Capri is also an avid numismatist with a collection of over 1000 coins from 100+ countries.

Are you still breastfeeding ? When to start with BLW ??

Hello Mommies,

March 13 2017 was the day I met my little angel who gave me a second life. The labor and delivery was a scintillating experience for me as a first time mommy. All throughout my pregnancy, I constantly kept myself occupied reading about the various ways people enjoyed being pregnant. I followed fellow blogger mommies who had different views on everything relating to pregnancy. Right from the tests, scan, food, workouts, and leisure time; my choices were abundant and I had plenty to choice from.

But, the one thing that was constantly running in my subconscious mind- VAGINAL DELIVERY and BREASTFEEDING.

That is also the time I started reading about breastfeeding. I also got to know there were classes for learning about various positions to feed the baby and that can be taken even before the delivery. There are also few hospitals who offer this as part of their package to expecting clients. Well, living in the 21st century, this is not something to be surprised of. This would not have been possible for our ancestors- say even our moms.

When I told my mom about this, she found it interesting and gave me a go ahead. Though we do have the elders guiding us through their experiences, they still agree on things like these.

A breastfeeding class can introduce us to some of the different positions and offer some reassurance that breastfeeding is not something that’s going to happen immediately. Baby and us are both going to need some time to get the hang of it.

The ‘Womanly Art of Breastfeeding’ is a wonderful book to start with, in case you do not have time to attend to classes.

These classes teach us about the different latches, feeding cues, and stomach size.

It is very important to get the first latch properly. This is done immediately in the labor room. My God, I really felt I was in heaven when I felt her lips. What more does a mother want?

And ladies, in case you are attending the classes birthing/ breastfeeding don’t forget to take your husbands. It is extremely necessary they accompany us, not just as moral support, but to get to know and be supportive.

I initially had little struggles with making my daughter feed, I was very worried about it. But, I did not give up. The main thing to focus during this time is not to fall into depression and not to lose hope. I strongly kept saying within me that I can feed my baby, I can satisfy her hunger needs, and I can do it. This positive vibe really did wonders, and slowly I starting seeing changes and feeding time became relaxing for both, me and my baby. Feeding with keeping the baby in the baby carrier was another blessing in this era. Though feeding in public is still a big “WHAT THE” in this society making a lot of heads turn, the carrier made it easier.

As the months passed, I noticed that she needed much more than only milk. That is when I decided to wean. I started with porridge and fruit purees. She had an instant liking. We can start this once the head gets the support and the baby can balance the head-neck. Apple purees, finger millet, and rice porridge were becoming her favourites.

SO, what is BLW or baby led weaning then?

We can start letting the baby taste and feel the textures by giving them small portions. Self-feeding improves hand-eye coordination. Baby learns to swallow, lick, and chew. Once the baby starts sprouting the first tooth, we can offer finger foods like carrots and beans. Take care to not feed nuts/peanuts as it may lead to choking.

Eating with the family is a great practice that can be cultivated as early as 8 months. The baby can watch others eat, so that they get to learn what and how.

And ladies, you can still continue breast feeding until the child is one. Nobody can stop you from that!

Related read : Baby led weaning.

I’m proud and happy being a working mom. Should I feel guilty? Hell no!!

Our life as we know it, is not a bed of roses. It has thorns or hardships too.

Waking up early is hard.

Studying is hard.

Getting good grades in hard.

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is hard.

Being a responsible worker after graduation is hard.

Finding a good partner and getting married is hard.

Conceiving at the right time is hard.

Bringing up a healthy baby in the womb until delivery is hard.

Let me come to the point.

Being a mom is hard.

Being a stay at home mom is hard.

Being a working mom is hard.

Being a human is hard. Come on that doesn’t sound worse.

We can accomplish tasks that are termed hard.

I pushed a little human out of a lemon sized hole in my body. That was hard and yes I did it.

I am doing a great job. And my kid will turn out just fine despite the hours I spend away from her.

So what did I do here?

I was lucky enough that the maternity Bill here in India got passed jus few days after my delivery. So I get to enjoy six months of paid maternity leave. Perks of working in a MNC ;).

I also made a decision that I would exhaust the Maternity Lop as well since I wanted to be with my daughter in all her monthly milestones. That decision I made gave me immense pleasure that I was there when she rolled over, tried to lift her head up, sat, try to stand, try to walk, say her first words, start taking solids. Me staying back home after paid maternity leave raised eyebrows even among my close circle but to me I chose what is best for me and my daughter. Happy that I had a supporting family who were all ears when I announced I would join back after a year.

I am now a working mom which likely means leave the house every day feeling guilty about my decision to be a working mom. “Am I selfish for abandoning my child?” ” “Are all the stay at home moms right?” Wait. Wait. I stopped the second-guessing and gave a pat on my back for making a decision that I very likely know is best for my family.

Instead of being racked with senseless guilt, read along to know why I feel fantastic about being a working mom.

CAREER GROWTH AND FAMILY GO HAND IN HAND

It feels great to be working for a company that values family in conjunction with career. According to me there is no either-or when it comes to career and family. It’s both. Professional growth and parenthood are both important and I do not draw a stark line between them. I can’t be perfect at both. I learnt this quick, which gave me a peaceful mind.

BEING A PARENT MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON

There’s another side of me I hadn’t discovered if I did not have my daughter—and it’s one of the better sides. No other experience in life could have taught me that I’m capable of loving and nurturing another person to such great lengths.

SHOUT OUT FOR HELP AND SHARE RESPONSIBILITY

Mom and Manger are the same— but different teams. Handling both is a key reminder that running a house isn’t very different than managing a team. Which means the moral is that moms are supposed to be 100% in charge of the cooking, organizing, planning, feeding, everything, is not only unfair, but false. Imagine if our manager did ALL the work, or if your supervisor wanted to lead every single project. At office, we need other people to be creative, meet deadlines, and execute on strategy; remember that we are not alone. So why do we constantly think moms should?

Working full-time has been an opportunity to change the usual game and make it level for both genders. Both me and my husband have an equal share of all the work at home and that includes making the baby sleep and not to forget diaper changes.

I CAN AFFORD A LITTLE LUXURY

My idea of heaven is an hour-long massage followed by a refreshing bath. The fact that I bring money into the house makes me feel better about the occasional reward I hand down myself. Staying home is no less taxing or tiring than going to work—and probably more so—but when we earn an income, we don’t have to ask anybody’s permission to indulge ourselves now and then.

I don’t have insecurities about working full-time, and I know I’m fully present for the hours I’m with my daughter. As she grows, I want her to witness first-hand what it looks like to fully involve yourself into personal goals and a concrete family life. But if I didn’t work full-time, I would still care deeply about teaching her the importance of diligence, dedication, and heart.

So mommies get going, there is a whole new world out there just waiting for you.

World book Day challenge prompt 7 : Colours or Rainbow

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”~ Dr. Seuss

T

here are many little ways to enlarge your child’s world. Love of books is the best of all.
~ Jacqueline Kennedy

Posting for #worldbookdaychallenge day 6 prompt colors/ rainbow.
Recognition of colors can provide children with essential learning tools in life. As kids learn to identify colours and use colour as a language tool to describe things, it develops and strengthens their ability to communicate effectively.
Teaching our child about colour (hurs, shades and tones) we will also be helping them to use colour as a means of creative expression in all aspects of life.
They will learn to use colour as a visual cue to identify danger (red) and distinguish hot from cold.
The books I chose for this prompt and the ones I used to teach colors to Cheeni are @ericcarl my first book of colors , @prathambooks colors of nature and look and learn colors of creative publications.
These books have beautiful illustrations for each color so that it is easier for the child to grasp.
Cheeni now identifies few colours like blue and red.
My first book of colors is a mix and match book where we could mix and match colors and the objects.