Dealing with the loss of a loved one

Losing a loved one can make your shatter like the sky coming down on you. Grieving is a natural response to loss, many of us fail to understand how it can affect lives.

The loss of a loved one can make irreparable damage to what we say the foundations of our lives. This damage is prone to affecting both the mins and body.

Preoccupied with thoughts, memories and images of the loved one, having difficulty in accepting the reality that they’re gone, waves of sadness and yearning about them is all part of the grieving process.

It’s been six months since my mom passed away, but i still find it difficult to come to terms that she’s gone. Waiting for her to open the door while I knock, checking on me if I had my meal not just once every meal of the day, checking if I’ve taken medicines, that tender love and care when I’m sick, those gossips during coffee, lying down on the lap, falling asleep on her shoulders during TV time is all something that I yearn for now.

I know that won’t happen now, but still my heart fails to accept and makes me ask the supreme ‘ please just one more time’. There are days I feel absolutely normal, and days I cry like a baby. Not just a metaphor I really do. Somedays I find it very difficult.

My sleep cycle has gone for a toss. Blame my photographic memory, not sure if it’s a boon or a bane, I keep getting visuals of mom’s last few days with me on repeat. Which makes me not shut my eyes. But there are days I fall asleep unknowingly.

I am still trying my best to deal with her loss. Began to focus on reading how to process grief and deal with it. I thought why not share it here, might help someone who is on the same phase like me.

Grief can be classified into acute and persistent grief.

The first six to twelve months after the loss of someone we experience acute grief.

If it lasts over 12 months, it is termed persistent grief.

Chronic stress is commonly experienced during acute grief, it can lead to a lot of physical and emotional issues like anger, anxiety, pains, sleep issues amd depression. But if the person is old these signs shouldn’t be ignored.

People with persistent grief need to take therapy or counselling to deal with it by taking up cognitive behavioral therapy. But for acute grief there are certain ways that can help you ease.

Take new responsibility

Losing a loved one will also lead to you taking up new responsibility. Say like cooking, households chores. This can probably add to your stress but can be a mood uplifted experience if you take it in a positive way. Focusing on task can help you divert from grief.

Healthy diet

When you are under stress it acts as a trigger and makes you crave sugar and fat. Feel good, high calorie and high fat foods is what people reach out to make them feel better. But it can worsen your condition. Planning to take a well balanced diet will definitely help you maintain good health.

Sleep cycle

When you deal with grief your sleep cycles get affected. You might find it difficult to fall asleep, wake up a number of times and not having sound sleep. But following a sleep routine on a regular basis , avoiding screens close to bed time, avoiding caffeine and alcohol can help for a sound sleep.

Move your body

A daily walk can help in easing depression, agitation and sorrow related to grief. We find ourselves less motivated to go and workout. In that case a workout partner or a group ca help you sort this out.

Look after your health

Our general health gets ignored when we are going through grief. But dont take it lightly. Set reminders for any tests that you should be taking, tablets or medications. A little help from a family member to remind you doesn’t hurt.

Reach out to people

It’s most painful to see people and the outside world but also important to not miss the connections. This would serve as a reminder that you are not alone and when you feel isolated you have family and friends to help you out and be the supportive hand. Go out for a coffee, invite people for lunch. If not be in touch with someone over mail Or call.

Grief affects mental and physical health to a great extent. Reaching out to help and help make a betterment in your mental health is not something to feel shy or to be hesitant to ask of.

This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter.”

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva andNoor Anand Chawla.’

39 Replies to “Dealing with the loss of a loved one”

  1. Heartfelt condolences, Sindhu. Everything you have written is true but actually nothing works. I. lost my husband and then my son a few months ago. I still don’t know how to cope. Crying as I write these words

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss Sindhu. The loss of a parent is devastating mo matter how young or old we are. I am so glad that you had the courage to come up with something that will help others deal with it…. more power to you… 💖

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  3. I know what it feels like, having lost my mom when i was only 8. I feel like these tips are great but the best healer is time. However, I empathize with your loss and one day you will remember her with a smile, and the pain will dull slightly each day.

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  4. I lost my mom last year and I still go through the stress. Just as you described each and every word resonated with me. I close my eyes and I see the last days we spent with her. Sometimes I wake up crying in the morning and yes my sleep, diet sometimes even the wish to wake up is all gone for a toss. It is very very difficult to fight out of this. You have described the perfect steps to start helping yourself and worsen the condition. We can never get over the loss but have to learn to live with it with a healthy body and mind. Hope you also gain the strength to do so.

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  5. In this pandemic many people have lost their loved ones due to disease or due to lack of timely treatment. Grief can keep eating you up, it is important to seek help as you rightly pointed when it changes you as a person and affects your life for the worse.

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  6. 6 years since my Mom passed away and it hurts like it was yesterday. It helps to know that they’re in a good place and are happy to see us happy. Hugs. Can’t say it’ll get better but you’ll learn to deal with it.

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  7. So sorry for your loss dear Sindhu. yes, dealing with grief is not easy. but maintaining a healthy lifestyle and being around with positive people can help a lot in dealing with it positively. hugs to you.

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  8. Sorry for your loss Sindhu. I know that her absence can never be filled. But think that she is resting in peace and watching you from above, giving her love may be in the from of stars.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss Sindhu. I hope you feel surrounded by much love. Holding you close in my thoughts and hoping you are doing OK. I know the tips are great but the best healer is time.

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  10. Really sorry for your loss Sindhu. Though she is not with you physically but I am sure she is showing her blessing from heaven. Stay strong, this void can not be filled but moving on is the only way by holding their beautiful memories.

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  11. Really sorry to hear about your mother, Beta. We all grieve in our own way but we should take care of our health. Sometimes it is the happy memories that give us comfort. God bless you.

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  12. I’m sorry about your mother. I don’t have parents. Lost them years back. I’m still not over with it but yes with time we learn to survive even with the pain in our hearts.

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  13. So sorry for your loss. Completely understand where you’re coming from. It takes a lot of time to overcome the loss of a loved one. It doesn’t even happen really. You can only try and alleviate the grief over time.

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  14. So sorry for your loss. I had similar experience when I list my father unexpectedly. I went in a shell and took a long time to normalize. The best therapy I did was go to work and meet new people.

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  15. So sorry for your loss Sindhu. Loss of a loved one, especially a parent can wreak havoc. It take time to come to terms & go on with life. Your post is heartfelt & will be of help to others seeking support.

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  16. Truly sorry for your loss, Sindhu. We lost our father over 5 years back and it is still a struggle. One is never too old to lose a parent. Sending tight hugs.

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  17. The loss of a loved one is an event which effects one deeply and one feels shattered. The absence of the person is something that one cannot get over. Time is the only healer, but the memories linger for a lifetime.

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  18. My condolences, Sindhu! May God bless and rest her soul! Dealing with the passing of a loved one, honestly, never ceases. It’s a constant battle that might get easier with time but will never truly fade. Love and strength to you and your family!

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  19. Heartfelt condolences, Sindhu. Everything you have said is true but, am not sure if any of these really works, also time is a great healer so may be after some time the pain might be a bit less. Loss of a parent is a big loss and nothing else can fill that vaccum.

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  20. I am sorry for your loss and the loss of loved one can never be filled but it should not affect your life . Life has starting point and ending point for everyone. This is a universal truth which we need to accept.

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  21. I agree dealing with grief is not easy. So sorry for your loss. Right lifestyle definitely helps to take care of health and its the perfect way to help yourself.

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  22. So sorry to hear about your mom. Wishing you the strength to handle this grief. I lost my dad 4 years ago and I know how this feels. Thanks for sharing a list when you are going through your own grief.

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  23. Very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in 2020, and I had a terrible time dealing with it. Frankly till now I am recovering from that. Also, in situations when known ones cannot be of real help, it is better to seek professional help.

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