#BlogchatterA2Z N what to teach and what not to teach your toddler

Hello people hope you’re doing good and keeping yourself occupied working, managing home and the kids. More power and strength to all us and I’m sure we can get through this. Let’s see the traits in N which we would want to teach the kids and which we shouldn’t encourage.

What to teach

Neat – A person is termed neat when they are well-groomed and tidy. The person is usually cool and well liked by others.

Noble – A person who shows fine qualities and moral principles. Such people are usually known for their honesty and charity. They are usually not selfish and are well respected. Such people are always looked up to and welcomed.

Noteworthy– A person who deserves attention is called noteworthy. They do deeds that are worthy of noting.

What not to teach

Name dropper – A name dropper is someone who always uses famous personalities names to pretend that he/she knows about them just for the sake of impressing others. They are severely insecure about their own image and use this tactic to impress.

Nagging person – A person is termed to be nagging when he / she constantly harasses others to do something. They don’t ask them to do rather they just keep telling them to do it. They resort to annoying the other person telling them to do something , or keep complaining.

Narrow minded – A person is termed narrow minded when they are unwilling to listen and tolerate others views. Such people do not socialise well. They are always known for pinpointing. They are usually judgemental and are not open to new ideas.

Let’s meet again tomorrow for a new set of traits.

#BlogchatterA2Z M what to and what not to teach your toddler

We’re almost halfway through the challenge. I never thought I could seriously write till now, given that baby number two can be expected anytime. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed and write till I can. The thirteenth letter M has a lot of commendable traits right from majestic to mannerly. Let’s take a look at them in detail.

What to teach

Mannerly – A person is prescribed to be mannerly when they are polite in their approach. This much be practiced from early childhood. Saying please, thank you, sorry and excuse me are simple words which we could teach them to practice being polite in their approach. This practice must begin at home and slowly could be taken socially.

Merciful – A person who shows mercy and is compassionate towards other human beings. This is especially evidently seen when they show mercy on people whom they would want to punish.

Methodical – A person who is periodical and systematic in their approach or behaviour is termed methodical. They pay careful attention to details and do things precisely.

Munificent – A person who is characterized by great generosity. Such people are very liberal in giving. They are greatly known to be good donors.

What not to teach

Mischievous – A person is termed mischievous who causes harmless tricks or trouble. It is not intended to cause harm . They make pranks and aren’t serious.

Manipulative – A person who exercises unscrupulous influence over people. Such a person tries to control situation according to their own will and wish.

Mannerless – A person who is impolite and ungracious is termed mannerless. They usually exhibit bad manners and are not punctual.

Mythomaniac – A person who is known for exorbitant lies and exaggeration. They are usually not welcome in a gathering.

If you have any more traits please do let me know in comments. Meet you tomorrow to discuss traits in N.

#BlogchatterA2Z L what to and what not to teach your toddler

Welcome back. Happy Tuesday. The letter L has a number of traits which we could make our toddlers learn. Right from level headed to be loyal these are some traits that sure are to make your toddler one good human being. Let’s take a look at them all.

What to teach

Level headed – A person is termed being level headed when they are calm and composed at any situation. They are known to act sensibly at any difficult situation. They are known to arrive at a practical approach to a problem rather than coming up with something just for teh time being. Such people have very high self confidence that in turn reflects in their mental well being.

Loyal – A person is termed to being loyal when they are firm in their support or backing to an organisation or a person. Such people are trustworthy and could be easy to depend on at any situation. No matter whatever the circumstances they would stand by and provide consistent support.

Laudable – Laudable is used when a person deserves appreciation and praise. It could be because of their thoughts or actions. An example could be something done right or something that is ethical or morally right.

Learned – A person is termed learned when they are well versed in the particular field they specialise in. They have profound knowledge about the field and would most probably be an expertise.

Light hearted – A person is said to be light hearted when they are cheerful and full of life always. They always take things easier and keep people around them happier. They are carefree and are usually people who enjoy life to the fullest.

Loving – A person is termed loving when he or she takes great care and affection. It’s a warm feeling in a relationship and is always a tender affection that’s shown to others.

What not to teach

Low spirited A person is termed low spirited when they are depressed. They usually bring down the mood of the surrounding. They usually have very little hope and have the tendency to bring down the mood of the people around them as well.

Loudmouth – We would want our kids to speak clearly about what they feel. But we would definitely not want them to be loudmouth. A person is termed as a loudmouth when they tend to talk offensively beyond limits. They brag or talk a lot only about things which they feel is interesting. It would sound so unpleasant when people tend to talk in such a way during critical situation.

Lavish – Person who spends on extravagant pleasures. Children should be taught to spend wisely and to spend on stuff sensibly. When they are used to live in such a manner it is easier for them to adjust to any situation. When they’re made to enjoy a lavish lifestyle they tend to forget basic necessities and would often resort to expectations even for little things.

Let’s meet tomorrow again to discuss traits in M. If you feel I missed something in L please feel free to share them in comments.

#BlogchatterA2Z K what to and what not to teach your toddler

Happy Monday morning peeps. Hope your Sunday went on well. And a couple of you celebrating Easter. Still looking to get through this lockdown with loads of family time, reviving hobbies and most importantly self care and spending time with your kids. Let’s take a look at traits we would like to inculcate in K.

What to teach

Kind – A person who can do anything for anyone without thinking of anything or even themselves. They don’t give second thoughts. They are empathetic. They not only listen to other people’s concern but also pitch in to help them.

Knowledgeable – A person who is intelligent. They are well versed in their specific fields. They gain a lot of knowledge and makes them more confident. This confidence helps them better understand any problem and provide solutions.

Keen – A person who shows more enthusiasm and eagerness. A person who is keen is more focussed on what they do.

Kempt – A person who is termed as kempt is someone who is groomed and tidy in their appearance. Such a person always has a good opinion when others look at them. Gives them more self confidence.

What not to teach

Knavish – A person is termed knavish when they are dishonest. They are usually not trustworthy and are thoughtless about what they do. They act in a cunning way to achieve what they want.

Klutz – A person who is termed klutz is usually someone who behaves foolish or awkward. They usually do things clumsy way like dropping stuff and so on.

Kvetch – A person who complains to a great extent is called a kvetch. They complain even for the smallest things that leaves a negative impact.

Tomorrow we would discuss some traits in L.

#BlogchatterA2Z J what to and what not to teach your toddler

Time flies so fast, we’re already into J and the last post for this week before we take a break on Sunday. So are we ready to know the traits in J.

What to teach

Judicious – A person is termed to be of judicious character when they are shown to have a good judgement sense. They are people who have a balanced view and a common sense.

Jovial – A person who is cheerful and friendly. They are known to bring positive energy into surrounding and bring about happiness.

Jim dandy – We could raise kids to be a Jim dandy which means an outstanding person. A person who is admirable and fine.

Jack of all trades – A person is termed jack of all trades if they’re well versed in quite a number of fields. They could also be termed to be versatile.

Joyful – A person is termed as being joyful if they feel or express great happiness. The person bubbles with happiness which makes other get into the mood as well.

What not to teach

Jackleg – A person is termed a jackleg when they’re untrained or amateurs. The person is usually characterised as impotent and dishonest. They lack professional standards and are often criticised for a bag quality job done.

Jaded – A person terms jaded when they lack enthusiasm due to too much of something that is already done. This doesn’t keep the others interested so they often turn the attempts down.

Jealousy – would mean showing enviousness. Often by attempts of someone else’s accomplishments. This often brings a lot of negativity and is not a good trait. This would trigger anger and would lead to further bad actions.

Jive turkey – A person is termed as a jive turkey when they make false promises or too much exaggeration that leads to them being dishonest or unbelievable.

If there are any traits that you would like me to include I’d be happy to if you could share them in comments.

We would meet again next week to know more of traits that we want them to learn and practice and some of which we don’t want them to. Until then take good rest and enjoy the lockdown by spending time with family or reviving your long lost interests.

Parenting – Are you doing it the right way ?

Parenting:

The process of nurturing and supporting the overall development of a child which includes social, emotional, physical and intellectual. Most importantly, it does not stop with the biological relationship. In fact, it extends much more into the intricacies of each phase of human development.

Styles of parenting:

  • Instinctive parenting.
  • Attachment parenting.
  • Helicopter parenting.
  • Authoritative parenting.
  • Permissive parenting.

Instinctive Parenting:

This is the old school method that is being followed for ages. In most families, this is the type of parenting that can be witnessed. You trust your instincts and guide the child. Most probably, you bring up the child in a way that you were brought up by your parents or grandparents.

Attachment parenting:

Attachment parenting primarily is based on developing a strong emotional bond between parent-child. It is believed that strong attachment brings up a good emotional well-being and the child feels secure being brought up by that way. Parents who adopt this style usually are more responsive, I mean quicker to respond to the child’s needs, feelings so that the child is secure. These parents believe in natural birthing, family bed, no punishments and homeschooling.

Helicopter parenting:

This is when there is constant interaction more precisely interference with the child. Parents tend to hover like a helicopter. This type of parenting supposedly makes the child too very dependent on the parent even after they cross certain age.

Authoritative parenting:

This typically is, ‘I gave birth to you, you live on my property, so you follow my rules’ kind. Rules and guidelines are established for children to be followed. This parent is more nurturing and supportive if incase the child fails to meet expectations. Discipline according to then is being confident but not restrain, to nurture rather than reprove.

Permissive parenting

It’s a child’s choice is what the parenting is about. These parents have very few demands and rarely indulge in disciplining the child. More precise being lenient is the most important trait of the parent here. They try to be more a friend than being a parent to the child.

Good and Bad parenting:

Teaching your child, the moral of choosing what is right and wrong is the foundation of good parenting. You can refer more about this is my older article- Teaching your child good and bad choice. The key to good parenting is setting limits and being consistent. We must be firm and also be kind at the same time to make the child follow.

Anything that is negative to the above statements is termed bad parenting.

A series of action, not just one single act which can harm the child’s behavior and psychology is termed bad parenting. This is not always intentional, but this does not console you that the negative effects would lessen. This usually happens when people do not know enough or lack of the need to do it the right way. The hard thing to digest is some people are not aware of what is actually happening and some do not even care.

How do you identify bad parenting?

  1. Scolding the child frequently.
  2. Disciplining in front of other people. This includes grandparents as well.
  3. Constant comparison to other kids.
  4. No attachment or affection
  5. No rules
  6. Lack of support
  7. Advice always and no encouragement
  8. Not giving them choice
  9. Too much pampering
  10. Talking to them in a criticizing tone
  11. NO respect for child’s feeling
  12. Being overprotective of them
  13. Being too busy and not spending time
  14. Setting a bad example

Being a good parent

No parent is perfect. It’s just that we are all trying our best to become one and are still on the way and have a long way up.

Below cues can help you add more skills if you are already one or just the starting point for you to build up to become one.

Be the model. – Don’t keep telling them what to do; Show them how.

  1. Loving them- Show them love, you can be unconditional; there are no limits. Give them a lot of hugs, spend time, listen to them. Too much love doesn’t spoil them.
  2. Positive parenting – Give them a lot of positive vibes and bring them up in such environment. Do not talk about negative stuff.
  3. You’re the rescuer- Let them know you are always there for them and they can always walk up to you to feel safe.
  4. Communicating – This is the key. Talk to them freely, offer solutions, suggest options, give them choices. Listen to what they say to you. DO not out rightly reject immediately when they start.
  5. Reflecting- Most of us try to bring in the way we were brought up with minor changes. This is much like reflecting our childhood.
  6. No spanking- DO not spank your child at any cost. Especially not in front of others. This would make them lower their confidence.

We are unique in our own ways of bringing the child up. It’s just the above categories are grouping o similar behavior that is observed across the world.

Teaching your toddler to clean up

Cleanup time

When can you start teaching your toddler to clean up. Not the point below carefully.

“If a child is old enough to get out a toy to play, she is old enough to put it away.”

So if your child is capable of choosing which toy to play with from the toy box; he/she is also capable of putting it back when done playing with.

Let me put forth some strategies that can get this done.

Choosing language or choice of words carefully

The child isn’t born with inherent cleaning skill. It is something that is learnt on observation or upon being told. So just a blunt “clean up your toys” is not going to take you anywhere in this situation. Break the clean up into smaller tasks. Teach them to group things according to size or type. Breaking up cleaning into smaller tasks makes it manageable and also easier for them to start with. I am sure a good way of communication is the key to get the toddler moving.

Start young

IF your toddler is just two but loves watching what the parents do. You can very well start teaching them. Give them a dust cloth or small broom with dust pan to start with. They can imitate what you do.

Cleaning up

Necessity of cleaning up

As a grown up, we know what clean up means, but to a toddler it means putting away the fun. Give them a reason or explain consequences with which they can relate; it makes it easier in this way. Tell them someone might trip, fall off and get hurt or the toddler cannot find the toy in the same place if it’s not put back.

Create Kid-Friendly Storage for Toys

Make sure toy storage is kid friendly. They should be able to pick up and clean up with ease. Place them in boxes- say one for blocks, one for stuffed toys and so on.

Less toys, rotate and one set at a time

It is better to segregate them into sets; which is another way. Less toys means very little time required for cleanup. Always rotate the sets so that they don’t get bored. Stop buying the same kind of toys. Also make sure only one set is out at a time.

Cleaning up

Do it with a Tune!

There are a lot of youtube kid channels which have a cleanup song. Show them how it’s done. This might help them understand easier. So whenever it’s time for cleanup you can join in, sing and do it together. Do you want to know what’s our favourite cleanup song. Check it out.

Make it a Game

This makes a wonderful game. You can set the timer and tell them do complete before the buzzer goes on. Or you can tell them to complete before we finish folding clothes. Doing it this way increases the fun factor.

Don’t make it perfect

When the play area is finally clean, leave it as it is. If the blocks aren’t stacked properly or the dust cloth is not put back straight, leave it. As long as the place is clean, don’t redo what was done. A toddler cannot clean up like an adult. But if you still do it again to get it perfect, something like you redo what was done, the toddler might not be inclined to do it the next time; because they know we would redo it anyways.

Putting toys to sleep

IF the toddler cleans up before sleep time, tell them the toys need to sleep in their respective places, so we need to make sure they are kept in respective places. Maybe the child can also cultivate the habit of saying goodnight to the toys once its cleaned up.

Set a good example

Before making the toddler do the cleanup, we ourselves should set a good example for them. IF not now, we should not put ourselves into a situation that we still make a mess and expect the child to do a cleanup.

What are the benefits of teaching them cleanup?

Learn Skills they use life long

The home is the perfect place to teach them skills which they could use for the rest of their lives. Once they learn now they needn’t have to be calling you for learning it again and again.

Learning to be responsible

Responsibility is a serious skill to teach. Each day we see kids who have been brought up without being taught what is being responsible like. I really don’t like the sight of it nor does it look good to witness. It’s a very important quality we teach kids that what is expected of them and there are other people who count on them.

Learning value of work

Work is not something we hate nor do we love to work. But over the pace of time we do learn its importance by taking part in the activity. We not only teach them the value but also be a good participant(worker). We are rewarded by our kids standing out from the peer population if we teach them the skill of work and its value.

Learning to appreciate

Do you know that cleaning up also teaches the child to appreciate the effort that goes into it? They also learn to care for what they own by cleaning and putting it away when not needed anymore.

Learning to value home

By teaching them how to clean we also educate them to value where they live. It helps them to exhibit respect for the people they live with. They learn to recognize that the space is being shared by others, and therefore we show respect to them and ourselves by cleaning.

Learning natural consequences

If we end up cleaning after them, especially when they are of age three or more they’re don’t learn natural consequences. It gives them the thought that “ I can make a mess and I have somebody to clean it up for me’.