Mental health can not only be at stake when you pipe things up on your mind about yourself or at behaviour people exert on you .
Did you know that your way of thinking about others can also cause issues to your mental health. Yes by this, I mean pointing out at others.
While there are people who only think about themselves, there is another category that people fall into that’s much more dangerous. Some people can’t be or cannot keep quiet without pointing fingers at others or blaming others. They fail to notice that it is only one of their fingers that points to the other person and the remaining point to them.
This way of pointing out is not only for things that happen to you, but even otherwise they are habituated to pointing out at people’s mistake or at how stupid they can be.
It’s a habit that can ruin yourself where people bother you easily which puts you in a situation where you can’t stop from sharing your thoughts of judgement. Most importantly it could be happening even without you knowing about it. Doesn’t it sound dangerous?
But the good news would be that once you realise or if somebody helps you understand what’s actually happening by making you pay the price for the self-harm that you have created it can definitely be avoided. Now that’s something you could be relieved of.
Why is pointing out at others put you in serious risk?
- Peaks the negativity in your body and kills the cells.
- People can’t get close to you because this behaviour of yours is turning them off.
- The behaviour inadvertently creates and perpetuates depression.
- Definitely starts limiting your happiness.
- Creates a band of negative energy around you and name you as a negative energy radiator.
- Will be a hurdle in your important relationships and isolates you.
Our way of upbringing or the way we are brought up definitely contributes to our sensitivities. Finally it all comes down to whether we have a monitor system to make you aware of how and when you share what bothers you about people around you.
Quite often if you see the prime candidates list who take the blame would be the kids, parents, spouse and friends.
Blaming your husband for not being outgoing and that bothering your social life.
Blaming kids behaviour for not inviting guests at home.
Blaming relatives for relationship issues and your perspective of viewing a relationship as healthy.
The ones I stated above are just some of the examples.
It could be really tempting to go blame others , your habits , thinking habits for things going wrong in your life. But that’s definitely not leading you to the root cause of the problem.
Blaming others for emotional and mental issues can make you rely on the habit to such an extent that it is the permanent pathway to sabotage the ability of you keeping yourself and others who surround you happy.
Your aversion or pet peeves provide the pathway of how to interpret to see the world and something that you use to look through other people’s action.
So when you’re in a group and you have the habit of blaming others, I’d bet you would be the most unhappiest person in the whole group. The habit typically makes you a fault finding radar and literally pushes you to keep finding faults on others.
Why does this habit make you unhappy ?
Insecurities
Most probably people are seen pointing out faults in which they’ve struggled during childhood. It totally points to insecurity of things that people find faults in others. A person who finds faults constantly is characterized as someone who finds it difficult to apologize and denial of responsibility.
It leads to negative and pessimistic environment around you. Instead of focusing on people’s good deeds you seem to find faults. So this is something like instead of proceeding to solutions you choose to stay with the problem.
Memories of influential parents
If you make people recall they would have inherited this behaviour from their parents or a close relative. A resentment towards this parent or relative who was critical on them often shows up in this behaviour.
Instead of working on ways to curb this negative behaviour in present scenario, this will make you stay in the past.
Makes feel superior but brings unhappiness instantly
When people find faults with others or point fingers at others it gives them a rush or a feeling of superiority. But with minutes you can notice that it changes the mood to unhappiness instantly.
“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
Leads to depression
It takes very little time for you to spoil your mood if you keep finding faults in others. Self – devaluation or finding faults on others can lead to depression.
How do you solve this ?
- Start pointing out the goodness in people or their deeds even if it’s something small.
- The more you do invest in recognising others you could also see an improvement in self recognition.
- Having difficulty in apologising cannot be wiped out in seconds, it takes a lot of effort to understand that it could be a way of clearing out the mass.
- Make sure you avoid to show people how you inherited the tendency to judge other people and their actions.
- Create an imaginary filter that helps to separate what to express and what not to.
“If you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.”
- Too much bothering or finding fault in others problems or issues is definitely a sign that you definitely need to spend more time on doing what you need to achieve. This may be your goals to achieve personal growth.
- Make a list of things every morning that you’re grateful for.
- This habit in the long run might be Blogchattereating you bit by bit. So it’s better to avoid it to keep yourself and your body safe.
This post is part of #CauseAChatter with Blogchatter’
That Madras Mom 