Tag: my way of parenting

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#blogchatterA2Z Theme reveal . A to Z of what to and what not to teach toddlers

Teaching your toddler
Teaching your toddler

Bringing up a child involves a lot of effort not only from the parents but also the people whom the child interacts during early years.

I’m still in the phase of bringing up my toddler step by step but life did have other plans that destiny wants me to refine the tuning i did in bringing up baby number one. Yes I’m expecting baby number two in the next few days and I hope I get to complete this challenge as well.

Coming to what I was initially writing yes bringing up the toddler is not always an easy task that just requires you to read out from a manual and do as it says.

What works for someone might not work for you. But the qualities or traits you wish to imbibe in them can be done if bring practiced from the very beginning.

The same goes with my posts as well. I’m not going to be writing about how you bring up kids and what to do. Rather, I’d just list out the qualities or traits that we could wish to cultivate in them and if they do, you’d be satisfied and take a comfortable seat watching them grow up and handle the challenges and situations life throws at them.

I’d be writing about the qualities in each alphabet and their benefits on how it would help mould them.

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Mother tongue – a must teach to your toddlers #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

The sudden burst of mother tongue related posts and videos doing round is not because of a campaign or a contest. February 21 is observed as International mother language day worldwide. If this is observed worldwide that shows the importance of mother tongue. This is observed to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity. This also familiarizes or brings awareness of a concept called multilingualism.

Going to the history of when and how this came to existence, it was Bangladesh who came up with the initiative and was approved at the UNESCO in 1999.This has been observed since the year 2000. The utmost powerful tools of conserving and evolving our physical and insubstantial heritage are the languages we speak.

Necessity of teaching your child mother tongue

Mother tongue has a major role to play in the child’s overall development. If the foundation of learning the mother tongue is strong, it is easier for the child to learn other languages. When your child is given exposure to learn to develop skills in more than one language, the easier it is for them to learn how to use them effectively. This will not be the case with a child who knows only one language. Children when exposed to learn more languages are capable of processing information in different language thereby making them more flexible.

Learning the mother tongue also helps in developing better literacy in turn increasing the vocabulary of the child; thereby making it easier when the kid goes to kindergarten.

Learning the mother tongue helps the child to feel more connected with the roots and culture. That will not be the case with children who are brought up in a place where they do not have much exposure to their mother tongue. As a result, they feel left out when they are back to where they belong.

How do you teach mother tongue?

  • Start teaching mother tongue at home
  • Communicate to them in mother tongue
  • Grandparents are a great learning source to teach mother tongue
  • Gatherings of like-minded people, in this case people who have same mother tongue
  • Read books in mother tongue.

How did I incorporate mother tongue in my toddler’s vocabulary?

  • I always teach my daughter the name of an object in tamil(my mother tongue) and English. In that way she is able to identify the object in both languages.
  • I always insist she calls me Amma(mother in tamil) and not mummy or mom. Same goes with Appa(father). She is taught the various terms for relatives only in mother tongue tamil.
  • Though she enjoys watching rhymes in English, there are equally good rhymes available in tamil as well. So she is exposed to both cultures.
  • The people in the house converse with her in Tamil to which she responds back well and I can also see that since us the elders talk in mother tongue at home she has picked up words from conversations and is able to use them in situations as she needs.

So let us be strong in teaching our kids the mother tongue so that they do not forget their roots and also help in preserving the vast heritage.

This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com , Allaboutthewoman.com https://allaboutthewoman.com/woman-health/ and powered by Instacuppa https://instacuppastore.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”

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Mother tongue – a must teach to your toddlers #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

The sudden burst of mother tongue related posts and videos doing round is not because of a campaign or a contest. February 21 is observed as International mother language day worldwide. If this is observed worldwide that shows the importance of mother tongue. This is observed to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity. This also familiarizes or brings awareness of a concept called multilingualism.

Going to the history of when and how this came to existence, it was Bangladesh who came up with the initiative and was approved at the UNESCO in 1999.This has been observed since the year 2000. The utmost powerful tools of conserving and evolving our physical and insubstantial heritage are the languages we speak.

Necessity of teaching your child mother tongue

Mother tongue has a major role to play in the child’s overall development. If the foundation of learning the mother tongue is strong, it is easier for the child to learn other languages. When your child is given exposure to learn to develop skills in more than one language, the easier it is for them to learn how to use them effectively. This will not be the case with a child who knows only one language. Children when exposed to learn more languages are capable of processing information in different language thereby making them more flexible.

Learning the mother tongue also helps in developing better literacy in turn increasing the vocabulary of the child; thereby making it easier when the kid goes to kindergarten.

Learning the mother tongue helps the child to feel more connected with the roots and culture. That will not be the case with children who are brought up in a place where they do not have much exposure to their mother tongue. As a result, they feel left out when they are back to where they belong.

How do you teach mother tongue?

  • Start teaching mother tongue at home
  • Communicate to them in mother tongue
  • Grandparents are a great learning source to teach mother tongue
  • Gatherings of like-minded people, in this case people who have same mother tongue
  • Read books in mother tongue.

How did I incorporate mother tongue in my toddler’s vocabulary?

  • I always teach my daughter the name of an object in tamil(my mother tongue) and English. In that way she is able to identify the object in both languages.
  • I always insist she calls me Amma(mother in tamil) and not mummy or mom. Same goes with Appa(father). She is taught the various terms for relatives only in mother tongue tamil.
  • Though she enjoys watching rhymes in English, there are equally good rhymes available in tamil as well. So she is exposed to both cultures.
  • The people in the house converse with her in Tamil to which she responds back well and I can also see that since us the elders talk in mother tongue at home she has picked up words from conversations and is able to use them in situations as she needs.

So let us be strong in teaching our kids the mother tongue so that they do not forget their roots and also help in preserving the vast heritage.

This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com , Allaboutthewoman.com and powered by Instacuppa and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”

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Parenting – Are you doing it the right way ?

Parenting:

The process of nurturing and supporting the overall development of a child which includes social, emotional, physical and intellectual. Most importantly, it does not stop with the biological relationship. In fact, it extends much more into the intricacies of each phase of human development.

Styles of parenting:

  • Instinctive parenting.
  • Attachment parenting.
  • Helicopter parenting.
  • Authoritative parenting.
  • Permissive parenting.

Instinctive Parenting:

This is the old school method that is being followed for ages. In most families, this is the type of parenting that can be witnessed. You trust your instincts and guide the child. Most probably, you bring up the child in a way that you were brought up by your parents or grandparents.

Attachment parenting:

Attachment parenting primarily is based on developing a strong emotional bond between parent-child. It is believed that strong attachment brings up a good emotional well-being and the child feels secure being brought up by that way. Parents who adopt this style usually are more responsive, I mean quicker to respond to the child’s needs, feelings so that the child is secure. These parents believe in natural birthing, family bed, no punishments and homeschooling.

Helicopter parenting:

This is when there is constant interaction more precisely interference with the child. Parents tend to hover like a helicopter. This type of parenting supposedly makes the child too very dependent on the parent even after they cross certain age.

Authoritative parenting:

This typically is, ‘I gave birth to you, you live on my property, so you follow my rules’ kind. Rules and guidelines are established for children to be followed. This parent is more nurturing and supportive if incase the child fails to meet expectations. Discipline according to then is being confident but not restrain, to nurture rather than reprove.

Permissive parenting

It’s a child’s choice is what the parenting is about. These parents have very few demands and rarely indulge in disciplining the child. More precise being lenient is the most important trait of the parent here. They try to be more a friend than being a parent to the child.

Good and Bad parenting:

Teaching your child, the moral of choosing what is right and wrong is the foundation of good parenting. You can refer more about this is my older article- Teaching your child good and bad choice. The key to good parenting is setting limits and being consistent. We must be firm and also be kind at the same time to make the child follow.

Anything that is negative to the above statements is termed bad parenting.

A series of action, not just one single act which can harm the child’s behavior and psychology is termed bad parenting. This is not always intentional, but this does not console you that the negative effects would lessen. This usually happens when people do not know enough or lack of the need to do it the right way. The hard thing to digest is some people are not aware of what is actually happening and some do not even care.

How do you identify bad parenting?

  1. Scolding the child frequently.
  2. Disciplining in front of other people. This includes grandparents as well.
  3. Constant comparison to other kids.
  4. No attachment or affection
  5. No rules
  6. Lack of support
  7. Advice always and no encouragement
  8. Not giving them choice
  9. Too much pampering
  10. Talking to them in a criticizing tone
  11. NO respect for child’s feeling
  12. Being overprotective of them
  13. Being too busy and not spending time
  14. Setting a bad example

Being a good parent

No parent is perfect. It’s just that we are all trying our best to become one and are still on the way and have a long way up.

Below cues can help you add more skills if you are already one or just the starting point for you to build up to become one.

Be the model. – Don’t keep telling them what to do; Show them how.

  1. Loving them- Show them love, you can be unconditional; there are no limits. Give them a lot of hugs, spend time, listen to them. Too much love doesn’t spoil them.
  2. Positive parenting – Give them a lot of positive vibes and bring them up in such environment. Do not talk about negative stuff.
  3. You’re the rescuer- Let them know you are always there for them and they can always walk up to you to feel safe.
  4. Communicating – This is the key. Talk to them freely, offer solutions, suggest options, give them choices. Listen to what they say to you. DO not out rightly reject immediately when they start.
  5. Reflecting- Most of us try to bring in the way we were brought up with minor changes. This is much like reflecting our childhood.
  6. No spanking- DO not spank your child at any cost. Especially not in front of others. This would make them lower their confidence.

We are unique in our own ways of bringing the child up. It’s just the above categories are grouping o similar behavior that is observed across the world.

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Taking your toddler to a restaurant. What to and what not to ?

Toddler at restaurant

How many of you are excited about going to a restaurant with a toddler? Okay let me put it this way. How many of you plan your trip to the restaurant with your toddler? By planning I mean everything- food, clothing, toys, stroller and what not.

For many of us taking a toddler with the family to have a fine dining out is something that requires days of planning. Have we taken this, have we taken that and a half way through the ride we go about” omg! We missed this”, looking at what we’ve packed seemed to be like a mini vacation.

So how can we turn this to something that we enjoy doing, something that we look forward to, something that would become a tradition to celebrate or come on let’s give the lady of the house some rest from cooking.

This can be slowly done by taking your child once he/she is about 7-8 months, so that they get used to the environment, look out what it is like, what people do.

Toddler at restaurant

Let’s take a look at few tips and tricks.

1) Eating early

This is certainly the most important point that needs to be taken into consideration. Plan to have your meal a little earlier so that your home early. Your child might be past bedtime, but you definitely need to be out of the restaurant and halfway down when they start getting cranky.

2) Pack a bag with food for the kid

You may plan to take the usual meal your toddler takes or if you’re someone who doesn’t want to run around and feed in the restaurant you may as well pack some healthy snacks to keep your toddler busy. You might even order an extra portion of salad or boiled veggies if your toddler is already sued to such food.

3) Get to know the place

You can place the order and then take round about the restaurant to explore or say hi if they are any kids around of the same age. And if you find one you’re lucky.

4) Plan what you eat

IF the restaurant that you planned to go has an online menu, make sure you decide what to order and eat there beforehand and not study the menu when you are actually there. This saves time, count on me.

5) Carry distractions

If your toddler is old enough to color to may carry some crayons and sheets keep them engaged. Some restaurants if they are kid friendly do have this available themselves. Reserve a set of toys for trips like these. They must be something new and not what the kid usually plays with.

6) Feed the kid before

If possible feed the kids before you start, in that way they are full and will not be cranky when you get there.

7) Get the corner table

Try your best to be seated in one of the corners or in booths, in that way the kid has more room and can save you from embarrassment.

8) Keep cutlery out of reach

Most parents give the children cutlery to play with. This is one of the worst way of distracting. Keep them out of reach.

9) Opt for a kid friendly restaurant

Look in for restaurants which have a high chair, kids zone and most importantly kid friendly menu. Don’t attempt to feed whatever your order to your kid to say that you are making them get used to it. They have all the time in the world to explore food. Always introduce new foods at home, by which I mean home cooked and not take away food being fed at home.

10) avoid the junk as treat

Avoid treating your kid with junk. This might tempt them to ask for it, when they see people at the other table having it.

11) Keep clean

Always carry two sets of bib and your own play mat. After all, since we eat in the restaurant we do not pay them for the mess the child makes.

12) table manners if kids are old enough

If the kids are old enough, teach them table manners. Practice pretend play of a restaurant. They can learn to order what they would want to eat with a little assistance from your side.

13) Toilet trips before eating

Take your kids to toilet before you settle down to eat.

14)Prepare for restlessness.

It may be tough for your kid to keep unmoving for a long time – about 45 minutes is the max for a child up to about age 5. Be ready to take them on a walk outside the restaurant.

15) IF everything fails; leave

Try not to get angry if, after all your preparation, your child is troublesome. Instead, ask for the bill and take away boxes, and finish the meal at home.

“If you’re so busy correcting your child that you aren’t enjoying your meal, it’s time to do something else,” says Pamela Gould, author of Feeding the Kids.

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What is potty training ? When and how to start ? Do’s and dont’s

What is potty training?

Potty training is training your toddler to use potty, so he/she can get rid of wearing diapers.

What the best age to start potty training?

Healthy children aren’t physically and emotionally ready to start using a potty until they are between 18 months and three years old. Boys tend to be ready a few months later than girls. Most parents start the training when their children are between two years and three years old.

The physical maturity and readiness skills needed for successful toilet learning appear at the same time in girls and boys-between 18 and 30 months of age. The average age for girls to be toilet trained is 29 months, and for boys it’s 31 months.

Please note these are just the average months and not exact.

Age shouldn’t be the deciding factor in beginning potty training.

This varies individually among each child and is something that needn’t be compared to.

The key is making sure your child is physically and developmentally ready

How do you know that your child is ready to be potty trained?

· Pulling a wet or dirty diaper.

· Hiding to pee or poop.

· Interest in others’ use of the potty

· Copying adult potty behavior.

· Having a dry diaper for a longer-than-usual time.

· Awakening dry from a nap.

· Telling out that they’re about to go, are going or have just gone in their diaper.

Bowel or bladder control? What comes first?

Most children achieve bowel and bladder control between 24 and 48 months of age. Bowel control occurs before bladder control.

Sequence of control

· Bowel control at night

· Bowel control during the day

· Bladder control during the day

· Bladder control at night

It is normal to wet the bed until age six for a girl and age seven for a boy.

Steps to train your toddler

· Let them watch and learn – Show them how it is done ie. How to undress and sit.

· Buy the right equipment – Getting the right type of potty seat plays a vital role in your training. Try going for choices which would make the kid want to come back and not whine, when taken.

· Help your child get comfortable with the potty – make sure the child feels comfortable sitting on it.

· Motivate with cool underwear- Make them wear underwear with their favorite cartoon characters or motifs. Make them wear it without fuss.

· Set up a training schedule- Prepare a schedule, and stick on to it. It will slowly become a routine.

· Teach to sit and wipe- Help them sit on the potty or if you are using a toilet seat cover, make sure its sturdy when they sit.

· Set aside some naked time – Give them some diaper/ underwear free time. So that they will feel the urge when they need to pee/poop.

· Celebrate triumphs – Once they start doing it the right way, keep encouraging them with small treats.

Role of book and videos in potty training:

Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi, is a lasting favorite. Where’s the Poop? and Once Upon a Potty, comes in a version with a doll and miniature potty. Potty by Leslie patricelli is another good book.

Several board books are now available to encourage children and make them learn in a fun way.

Gender specific titles are also available.

You could also show them an animated video, showing them how their favorite character also is being potty trained.

Many parents deal with potty training as something over which they have total control. Parents are a big contributor to their child’s development, but they don’t really control it. Parents are there to facilitate, to guide, to reinforce and to praise, but parents shouldn’t put pressure on themselves that if they do a series of steps, the children will achieve a certain outcome.”

If you feel like you’ve been changing diapers forever, you’re not alone.

Do not compare your child, this varies individually and is not something to boast about if your child has mastered it very early. Children take their own time to get comfortable and used to it. After all, its nature’s call and cannot be missed but would be taken at the right time and right place.

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I’m proud and happy being a working mom. Should I feel guilty? Hell no!!

Our life as we know it, is not a bed of roses. It has thorns or hardships too.

Waking up early is hard.

Studying is hard.

Getting good grades in hard.

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is hard.

Being a responsible worker after graduation is hard.

Finding a good partner and getting married is hard.

Conceiving at the right time is hard.

Bringing up a healthy baby in the womb until delivery is hard.

Let me come to the point.

Being a mom is hard.

Being a stay at home mom is hard.

Being a working mom is hard.

Being a human is hard. Come on that doesn’t sound worse.

We can accomplish tasks that are termed hard.

I pushed a little human out of a lemon sized hole in my body. That was hard and yes I did it.

I am doing a great job. And my kid will turn out just fine despite the hours I spend away from her.

So what did I do here?

I was lucky enough that the maternity Bill here in India got passed jus few days after my delivery. So I get to enjoy six months of paid maternity leave. Perks of working in a MNC ;).

I also made a decision that I would exhaust the Maternity Lop as well since I wanted to be with my daughter in all her monthly milestones. That decision I made gave me immense pleasure that I was there when she rolled over, tried to lift her head up, sat, try to stand, try to walk, say her first words, start taking solids. Me staying back home after paid maternity leave raised eyebrows even among my close circle but to me I chose what is best for me and my daughter. Happy that I had a supporting family who were all ears when I announced I would join back after a year.

I am now a working mom which likely means leave the house every day feeling guilty about my decision to be a working mom. “Am I selfish for abandoning my child?” ” “Are all the stay at home moms right?” Wait. Wait. I stopped the second-guessing and gave a pat on my back for making a decision that I very likely know is best for my family.

Instead of being racked with senseless guilt, read along to know why I feel fantastic about being a working mom.

CAREER GROWTH AND FAMILY GO HAND IN HAND

It feels great to be working for a company that values family in conjunction with career. According to me there is no either-or when it comes to career and family. It’s both. Professional growth and parenthood are both important and I do not draw a stark line between them. I can’t be perfect at both. I learnt this quick, which gave me a peaceful mind.

BEING A PARENT MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON

There’s another side of me I hadn’t discovered if I did not have my daughter—and it’s one of the better sides. No other experience in life could have taught me that I’m capable of loving and nurturing another person to such great lengths.

SHOUT OUT FOR HELP AND SHARE RESPONSIBILITY

Mom and Manger are the same— but different teams. Handling both is a key reminder that running a house isn’t very different than managing a team. Which means the moral is that moms are supposed to be 100% in charge of the cooking, organizing, planning, feeding, everything, is not only unfair, but false. Imagine if our manager did ALL the work, or if your supervisor wanted to lead every single project. At office, we need other people to be creative, meet deadlines, and execute on strategy; remember that we are not alone. So why do we constantly think moms should?

Working full-time has been an opportunity to change the usual game and make it level for both genders. Both me and my husband have an equal share of all the work at home and that includes making the baby sleep and not to forget diaper changes.

I CAN AFFORD A LITTLE LUXURY

My idea of heaven is an hour-long massage followed by a refreshing bath. The fact that I bring money into the house makes me feel better about the occasional reward I hand down myself. Staying home is no less taxing or tiring than going to work—and probably more so—but when we earn an income, we don’t have to ask anybody’s permission to indulge ourselves now and then.

I don’t have insecurities about working full-time, and I know I’m fully present for the hours I’m with my daughter. As she grows, I want her to witness first-hand what it looks like to fully involve yourself into personal goals and a concrete family life. But if I didn’t work full-time, I would still care deeply about teaching her the importance of diligence, dedication, and heart.

So mommies get going, there is a whole new world out there just waiting for you.