Parenting – Are you doing it the right way ?

Parenting:

The process of nurturing and supporting the overall development of a child which includes social, emotional, physical and intellectual. Most importantly, it does not stop with the biological relationship. In fact, it extends much more into the intricacies of each phase of human development.

Styles of parenting:

  • Instinctive parenting.
  • Attachment parenting.
  • Helicopter parenting.
  • Authoritative parenting.
  • Permissive parenting.

Instinctive Parenting:

This is the old school method that is being followed for ages. In most families, this is the type of parenting that can be witnessed. You trust your instincts and guide the child. Most probably, you bring up the child in a way that you were brought up by your parents or grandparents.

Attachment parenting:

Attachment parenting primarily is based on developing a strong emotional bond between parent-child. It is believed that strong attachment brings up a good emotional well-being and the child feels secure being brought up by that way. Parents who adopt this style usually are more responsive, I mean quicker to respond to the child’s needs, feelings so that the child is secure. These parents believe in natural birthing, family bed, no punishments and homeschooling.

Helicopter parenting:

This is when there is constant interaction more precisely interference with the child. Parents tend to hover like a helicopter. This type of parenting supposedly makes the child too very dependent on the parent even after they cross certain age.

Authoritative parenting:

This typically is, ‘I gave birth to you, you live on my property, so you follow my rules’ kind. Rules and guidelines are established for children to be followed. This parent is more nurturing and supportive if incase the child fails to meet expectations. Discipline according to then is being confident but not restrain, to nurture rather than reprove.

Permissive parenting

It’s a child’s choice is what the parenting is about. These parents have very few demands and rarely indulge in disciplining the child. More precise being lenient is the most important trait of the parent here. They try to be more a friend than being a parent to the child.

Good and Bad parenting:

Teaching your child, the moral of choosing what is right and wrong is the foundation of good parenting. You can refer more about this is my older article- Teaching your child good and bad choice. The key to good parenting is setting limits and being consistent. We must be firm and also be kind at the same time to make the child follow.

Anything that is negative to the above statements is termed bad parenting.

A series of action, not just one single act which can harm the child’s behavior and psychology is termed bad parenting. This is not always intentional, but this does not console you that the negative effects would lessen. This usually happens when people do not know enough or lack of the need to do it the right way. The hard thing to digest is some people are not aware of what is actually happening and some do not even care.

How do you identify bad parenting?

  1. Scolding the child frequently.
  2. Disciplining in front of other people. This includes grandparents as well.
  3. Constant comparison to other kids.
  4. No attachment or affection
  5. No rules
  6. Lack of support
  7. Advice always and no encouragement
  8. Not giving them choice
  9. Too much pampering
  10. Talking to them in a criticizing tone
  11. NO respect for child’s feeling
  12. Being overprotective of them
  13. Being too busy and not spending time
  14. Setting a bad example

Being a good parent

No parent is perfect. It’s just that we are all trying our best to become one and are still on the way and have a long way up.

Below cues can help you add more skills if you are already one or just the starting point for you to build up to become one.

Be the model. – Don’t keep telling them what to do; Show them how.

  1. Loving them- Show them love, you can be unconditional; there are no limits. Give them a lot of hugs, spend time, listen to them. Too much love doesn’t spoil them.
  2. Positive parenting – Give them a lot of positive vibes and bring them up in such environment. Do not talk about negative stuff.
  3. You’re the rescuer- Let them know you are always there for them and they can always walk up to you to feel safe.
  4. Communicating – This is the key. Talk to them freely, offer solutions, suggest options, give them choices. Listen to what they say to you. DO not out rightly reject immediately when they start.
  5. Reflecting- Most of us try to bring in the way we were brought up with minor changes. This is much like reflecting our childhood.
  6. No spanking- DO not spank your child at any cost. Especially not in front of others. This would make them lower their confidence.

We are unique in our own ways of bringing the child up. It’s just the above categories are grouping o similar behavior that is observed across the world.

Book blitz – Qualify by Vera Nazarian

Book & Author Details:
Qualify
by Vera Nazarian
(The Atlantis Grail #1)
Publication date: December 20th 2014
Genres: Dystopian, Science Fiction, Young Adult

Synopsis:

The Atlantis Grail has been optioned for development as a feature film series and/or TV series.

You have two options. You die, or you Qualify.

The year is 2047. An extinction-level asteroid is hurtling toward Earth, and the descendants of ancient Atlantis have returned from the stars in their silver ships to offer humanity help.

But there’s a catch.

They can only take a tiny percent of the Earth’s population back to the colony planet Atlantis. And in order to be chosen, you must be a teen, you must be bright, talented, and athletic, and you mustQualify.

Sixteen-year-old Gwenevere Lark is determined not only to Qualify but to rescue her entire family.

Because there’s a loophole.

If you are good enough to Qualify, you are eligible to compete in the brutal games of theAtlantis Grail, which grants all winners the laurels, high tech luxuries, and full privileges of Atlantis Citizenship. And if you are in the Top Ten, then all your wildest wishes are granted… Such as curing your mother’s cancer.

There is only one problem.

Gwen Lark is known as a klutz and a nerd. While she’s a hotshot in classics, history, science, and languages, the closest she’s come to sports is a backyard pool and a skateboard.

This time she is in over her head, and in for a fight of her life, against impossible odds and world-class competition—including Logan Sangre, the most amazing guy in her school, the one she’s been crushing on, and who doesn’t seem to know she exists.

Because every other teen on Earth has the same idea.

You Qualify or you die.

AUTHOR BIO:

VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Finalist, a Dragon Award 2018 Finalist, an award-winning artist, and member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, a writer with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.

She is the author of critically acclaimed novels DREAMS OF THE COMPASS ROSE and LORDS OF RAINBOW, the outrageous parodies MANSFIELD PARK AND MUMMIES and NORTHANGER ABBEY AND ANGELS AND DRAGONS, and most recently, PRIDE AND PLATYPUS: MR. DARCY’S DREADFUL SECRET in her humorous and surprisingly romantic Supernatural Jane Austen Series, as well as the Renaissance epic fantasy COBWEB BRIDE Trilogy, and the high-octane adventure YA / teen dystopian apocalyptic bestselling science fiction series THE ATLANTIS GRAIL that has been optioned fordevelopment as a feature film series and/or TV series.

After many years in Los Angeles, Vera lives in a small town in Vermont, and uses her Armenian sense of humor and her Russian sense of suffering to bake conflicted pirozhki and make art.

Her official author website is http://www.veranazarian.com

To be notified when new books come out, subscribe to the Mailing List: http://eepurl.com/hKaeo

Author links:

Book blitz Through the layers by R H Tucker

Through the Layer by RH Tucker
Published Sept. 17th, 2018

Genre:YA/NA Romance

Synopsis:
Second chances are for suckers.

Micah’s heard that expression before. With his first year of college in the books, catching his girlfriend cheating on him—again—he learns that lesson firsthand. The girl he thought could’ve been his high school sweetheart, turns out to be nothing more than a liar, completely destroying his trust.

No one has ever called Veronica fat. Thick? Okay. Curvy? Sure. However, they’ve never come right out and told her she’s overweight. Not unless you count the kids in third grade who called her roly-poly. Grade school or freshman year of college, it doesn’t matter. Guys usually go for the tall, thin girls. Girls like Micah’s ex.

Despite their hang-ups, and their pasts, Micah and Veronica find something in each other that quells their concerns. But when old faces return, and unsettling truths are revealed, will either of them be able to work through the layers and find one another again?

Through the Layers is a standalone YA/NA romance in the Rumor Has It series.

LINKS:
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H29YMWW
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07H29YMWW
Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07H29YMWW
Amazon AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07H29YMWW
Amazon IN: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B07H29YMWW

AUTHOR LINKS:
http://www.rhtuckerbooks.com/

https://www.facebook.com/rhtuckerbooks
https://www.instagram.com/rhtuckerauthor/
https://www.bookbub.com/profile/rh-tucker

EXCERPT:
I knock again and pull out my phone. Maybe I should call him.
The door swings open and Micah stands there, dripping wet, holding a towel around his waist. “Hey, you’re early.”
“I … I …” I’m trying to form words, but my brain has gone to pudding. I can feel it, all squishy, sloshing around inside of my skull. He opens the door wider to let me in, but I just stand there, admiring—gawking—at the water dripping down his chest. The beads of water trail over his muscles, down his stomach, to somewhere underneath the towel.
“You gonna stay out there all night?”
My eyes shoot back up, and he’s smiling. “Would you like to come inside or did you want to get to business out there?” My mouth drops, and he laughs.
Finally realizing he’s teasing me, I find some kind of strength to not stare at him, and go inside.
“Just give me a second to dry off.”
I stop and stand behind the sofa. Usually, I’d feel comfortable enough to go to the kitchen and grab something to drink, or just lounge around on their couch, or even head straight into his bedroom and turn on the TV and start to watch something. Now, I’m stuck.
What should I do? Does he expect me to do something or say something? Should we have something to drink first? I know they usually have some alcohol in the apartment, maybe he wants to relax first. Should I change already? Why is it they make it look so much easier in the movies and on TV when it comes to this sort of stuff?
“What are you doing?” Micah asks, coming back out of the bathroom. He’s got on a pair of shorts and a shirt that fits him snuggly, but I can’t erase—nor do I want to—the mental image of him opening the door in nothing but a towel.
“Um …” I look around, unsure how to answer.
He gives me a hug and kisses the top of my head, before walking to the kitchen. “Happy birthday. I ordered a pizza. I would’ve gone all out, but you said you just wanted a chill night. Is that okay?”
“Mm-hm.” I nod.
Turning around, he stares at me still standing there. “Are you okay?”
Get it together, V. This was your idea!

AUTHOR BIO:

RH Tucker lives in Southern California and writes character-driven stories with people who have real heart. At least, he tries to. He also consumes too much caffeine, eats too much pizza, and firmly believes Rocky Road is the best flavor of ice cream.

This post is for the book blitz organised by Xpressobooktours.

Book trailer reveal (Sept. 17th ) Dead steam by Bryce Raffle

I am so happy to share this really cool book with you and reveal its amazing trailer! If you like the cover, wait to you see this! There is also a chance to win a digital copy of Dead Steam, so make sure to enter the giveaway at the bottom!

Dead Steam: A Chilling Collection of Dreadpunk Tales of the Dark and Supernatural
Expected Publication Date: October 1st, 2018
Genre: Anthology/ Dreadpunk/ Dark Steampunk/ Horror
Reader beware: to open this tome is to invite dread into your heart. Every page you turn will bring you closer to something wicked. And when the dead begin to rise from the steaming pits of hell, only then will you discover that it is already too late. Your life is forfeit.

Featuring an introduction by Leanna Renee Hieber, author of the Eterna Files and Strangely Beautiful saga, DeadSteam plays host to the scintillating writing of David Lee Summers (Owl Dance, The Brazen Shark), Jen Ponce (The Bazaar, Demon’s Cradle), Wendy Nikel (The Continuum), Karen J Carlisle (The Adventures of Viola Stewart), Jonah Buck (Carrion Safari), and more…

With seventeen chilling tales of Dreadpunk, Gaslamp, and Dark Steampunk, DeadSteam will leave you tearing at the pages, desperate for more. For within these pages, the dead rise from their graves to haunt the London Underground, witches whisper their incantations to the wind, a sisterhood of bitten necks hunts fog-drenched alleyways lit only by gaslight, and only one thing is certain: that dread will follow you until you turn that final page.

And that sinking feeling in the pit of your chest? That fear that something is following you, watching you, hunting you? It is not for nothing. Look over your shoulder, dear reader. Watch behind you. Listen to the whispers in the darkness.

But know this…it is all inevitable.
Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40751298-deadsteam

Purchase Links:

Amazon Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0995276765

Amazon Paperback & Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GFV5X49

Barnes & Noble Paperback & Nook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/deadsteam-bryce-raffle/1128997727

Barnes & Noble Hardcover: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/deadsteam-bryce-raffle/1129305698

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/deadsteam

Booktopia: https://www.booktopia.com.au/deadsteam-bryce-raffle/prod9780995276741.html

*Link will go live Sept. 17th
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaK6P5_z35I&feature=youtu.be

Excerpt
Burke Street Station

The city was frost and fog. Icy crystals formed on the windows of the train station. Breath drifted up in a hazy clouds like puffs of
smoke as Theodore tried to warm his hands, blowing hot breath onto his stiff, cold fingers and rubbing his hands together vigorously. When that failed, he thrust them back into his coat pockets, cursing under his breath. His threadbare coat offered little warmth. Drafts of wind found their way through the broken stitching and the tears in his sleeves like rats scrambling through the cracks in the station walls. A discarded page of newsprint, caught in the rushing wind, tumbled and turned in the air and landed, crumpled and torn, at Theodore’s feet.

He stooped over, picked it up, and glanced at the engraving of a wanted man. Even without a skill for reading, he knew what name was printed beneath the picture of masked man on the page. Anthony Tidkins.

Wanted, he read. That was one word Theodore recognized. Crimes was another, and then, finally…murder.

Rubbish. The newspapers always tried to make villains out of the radical thinkers of the world. The Resurrectionists, who named their organization after the sack-em-up men who provided the anatomists with subjects for their scientific endeavors, were scientists. They had provided the world with aether, revolutionizing air travel. They had brought Prince Charles back from the brink of death. They had devised the engines for the London Underground. Anthony Tidkins himself promised to cure death. Yet the newspaper men still called for his blood. Theodore balled up the page and shoved it in his pocket.

He pulled out his trick coin as he approached the gate. The station master was asleep at his booth, a little dribble of spit running down his chin. Typical. Thoedore stuck his coin in the machine, waited for the gate to open, and then, with a light tug on the fishing line threaded through a little hole in the tip of the coin, it popped back out. Easy. He was in before anybody noticed what he had done. He pocketed the coin and started down the hallway.

Tap-tap, clack, tap-tap, clack, his shoes beat a rhythm on the stone steps. The sole of his left shoe was beginning to wear, and the heel of his shoe tapped against the heel of his foot as he walked. He puffed on his hands again, and peeked over his shoulder. No one was after him. He had done this trick a thousand times before. So why did he feel like there was someone watching him?

Clack, tap-tap, clack. Again, he glanced over his shoulder. The odd double-rhythm of his broken shoe was suddenly unnerving in the deserted station. Where were all the other passengers? Nice folks avoided this place like the plague, especially after midnight. The oil lamps that lit Burke Street Station were so routinely out of oil that he could hardly find his own feet in front of him, but still, Theodore expected to see other passengers. But where were the other vagrants? They should be sleeping in the dark corners of the hallway under blankets made of rags. And the boys from the blacking factory should be heading home from their long shifts, fingers stained black with powders and oil. But there was no one. Only the rats skittering through rat tunnels to keep him company.

Tap-tap, clack, tap-tap, clack.

Another set of footsteps began to follow his own, beating out a different rhythm. A steady tap, tap, tap, tap. He paused to listen, and nothing but silence greeted him. He glanced over his shoulder. Nobody there.

He continued onward, and again, a second set of footsteps started up behind him. He paused to listen. This time, they didn’t stop.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Whoever it was, they were getting closer. Closer and closer, louder and louder, tapping out a steady rhythm as they approached down the long, dark hallway. He could almost make out the solitary figure in the gloomy, hazy light, but then the fog grew thicker, and whatever he thought he’d seen was gone. The footsteps kept on getting louder, though, and closer. He turned and ran down the hallway.

A long flight of steps delved deeper into the darkness of Burke Street Station, down, down toward the platform. The train was already rumbling, announcing its approach. It vibrated through Theodore’s toes to the tip of his spine, rattling his bones.

He grabbed the railing all but flew down the staircase. The rumble of the train grew louder and clearer.

“Shit,” Theodore cursed. Taking the steps two at a time, he hurtled down the steps and didn’t stop when he reached the bottom.
Nails on a blackboard. The tines of silverware scraping against a ceramic plate. The screaming madmen at Newgate Asylum. The anguished cry of a mother weeping over her stillborn babe. Theodore had heard these sounds all, but not one compared to the shrill screech of an automatic train rolling into Burke Street. Iron wheels grinding against iron tracks. Hot metal sending up sparks, belching out steam as black as sin. The carriages rattling and clanging against one another. The hiss of hot coal burning in the engines. The shriek of brakes as the train ground to a halt. If it went on long enough, it would surely drive a man mad. Theodore covered his ears with his hands, pressing them against his head to muffle out the deafening noise, and waited for the thundering train to come to a halt.
When it did, he realized it must have drowned out the sound of the steadily approaching footsteps he’d heard in the hallway, because he could hear them again, and they were closer. So close he half expected to feel someone’s hot breath on his neck. He whirled around, but there was no one there. Silence greeted him like an old friend. His heart hammered against his chest.
“There’s no one there,” he muttered to himself. But he didn’t sound convinced.
A smell lingered in the air, as if something foul had passed through. The smell was familiar enough, the breath of a man with rotting teeth. It was a foul, cloying stench. He spun around again, and this time found himself face to face with the man to whom those dreaded footsteps belonged.
Only he wasn’t a man. Not really.

About the Author

Bryce Raffle writes steampunk, horror, and fantasy. He was the lead writer for Ironclad Games’ multiplayer online game Sins of A Dark Age and is the founder of Grimmer & Grimmer Books. His short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies, including Hideous Progeny: Classic Horror Goes Punk, Denizens of Steam and Den of Antiquity. His short story, The Complications of Avery Vane, was awarded Best Steampunk Short in the Preditors and Editors Reader’s Poll in 2016. He lives in beautiful Vancouver, Canada, where he works in the film industry.

Author Links:
Twitter @bryceraffle
Facebook: facebook.com/bryceraffle
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bryceraffle/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14585685.Bryce_Raffle
Website: http://www.bryceraffle.com

Giveaway Details:

Bryce is giving away a digital copy of Dead Steam to one lucky winner. The giveaway will run from Sept. 17th to Sept. 20th so make sure you enter!
Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/0e7c6a8f45/?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Book Trailer Reveal Organized By

R&R Book Tours
http://www.rrbooktours.com

Review of Hungry Gods by Richa Lakhera

BLURB:

Beaten and brutally raped, her body is never found. However, the killers make one mistake. They leave a witness, a witness who has nothing to live for except revenge. And when he crosses the boundaries of time to make the guilty pay, a whole lot of dark characters come to light. There is Valentine, the superstar brand ambassador who sells anything for a price; there is Medici, a pharmaceutical company fraudulently manufacturing banned drugs; there is the perverted and sinister minded Dr Ranga and there is Este, the prostitute whose dark secret will blow up a daughter’s sanity. So, is there another murder waiting to happen? Will Police Inspector Dorab Silva be able to connect the clues to prevent another crime? Will these gods of greed be exposed? And yes, you will be surprised by who you will find there, finally. Deeply unsettling, Hungry Gods takes a hard look at greed for wealth and power.

MY REVIEW:

The first thing that struck me when I was asked if I can review this book was what made the author choose this name. I initially thought that it was something of mythological sorts but when I googled and saw the cover my opinion was completely proved wrong. The cover design conveys a lot. In fact that’s one of the stand out features of this book. I went through the blurb and which made me even more anxious that was eagerly waiting that the book would get delivered to me sooner.

The book is based on the tagline Drugs, Sex Cults, a horrific crime and an unthinkable revenge. The revenge here is by a son who witnesses him mom being abused and killed by a group. Bu the way in which the narration is taken is what which makes the book stand out among similar books of this genre.

It is very difficult to keep track of all characters since there are a lot of them, a LOT I say. The writing style of the author is on par with that of international authors. Its crisp, subtle and brilliant. She has a good command over the language and an extensive vocabulary.

The narration is from first and third person perspective which is confusing a times to relate the consecutive events. A clearer description of the place and time could have made it better.

Writing was very intriguing and intense but applauds to the author, the surprise element was kept up till the end. The nail biting sequences of pre climax and climax was outstanding.

Overall, Hungry Gods was a bold representation of the present sadistic world we live in and can very well be made into a movie.

But I would like to leave a disclaimer that the book is not for light hearted ones.

MY RATINGS:

Cover: 4.5/5

Title: 4/5

plot: 5/5

Writing and Presentation: 5/5

Overall: 4.5/5

BOOK DETAILS:

  • Book Name: Hungry Gods
  • Author: Richa Lakhera
  • Genre: Fiction/ thriller
  • Paperback: 204 pages
  • Publisher: Rupa Publications India (20 July 2018)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9353040795
  • ISBN-13: 978-9353040796

The book is available on amazon https://amzn.to/2x1jHy5

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Hungry Gods is Richa Lakhera’s third novel, she has previously written Item Girl, a crime novel and Garbage Beat, a satire on the Indian entertainment industry. A libertarian addicted to absurdism, she works as Deputy Editor at NDTV. She has a Master’s in Organic Chemistry and Bio-technology and is the recipient of the Indian Council for UN Relations (ICUNR) Award for Excellence in Journalism. Richa divides her time between New Delhi and Mumbai and is currently working on her next crime fiction novel.

I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter .

Letter to my dear daughter #myfriendalexa

Dear Cheeni,

Even before I knew you were coming I named you, my little angel. I found a new reason for my existence when I saw those two pink lines. We (your Dad and I) fell in love within seconds listening to the magical sound of your heartbeat. I thought it was a myth to identify gender based on heart rate, but I knew it was you, my special rainbow baby.

I knew it from those constant kicks and strokes you gave me while you grew inside me. They were such a gift, a signal that you were alive and growing. The times I sing to you and read out to you when I was alone, I felt a strong connection. Those moments of acknowledgement when I talk to you, the signs of reciprocation kept me going even when I was tired or feeling low. Even today I try holding on to what it felt like to have you kicking and stretching the limbs of your tiny body inside my body, safe and sound. These are moments etched in memory for lifetime.

I wasn’t the only person counting down to your arrival. No words to express the excitement of your Grandparents (all four of them) and both aunts as I was nearing my due date. You see, you are their first grandchild and their first niece. The countless number of phone calls showing that they can’t stop talking about you, to see if it’s time. I really feel so blessed to see how many people love you.

I was so eager to be the mom you so deserve. Disclaimer: I may not get it right at first, but I promise to try my very best and I promise to love you unconditionally until my last breath on earth.

I celebrated my first Mother’s Day with you, my baby. I feel this irresistible need to tell you some things about what it means to me to be your mother. So exciting that I now have a girl of my own who will wish me “happy mother’s day”. Now that’s a change from me wishing my mom and all elder woman in family.

I replay the first moment I saw you, at times when I try sleeping at night. The first eye contact I had with you on the labor bed, when the nurse gave you to me, by placing you on my chest. That moment of relief, happiness, pain all at the same time.

And What about your Dad? You are so lucky to have him of course. I have never doubted his ability to make a fantastic father. And now I know you will be the girl(second) who ultimately melts his heart with just one look.

You’ve had such an intense impact on our existence here. And now, you will become the best and worst parts of us.

You have my eyes, and your dad’s hair, my round cheeks and his long fingers, but you are unique.

And destiny will tell us if you are as bold as him or as quiet as me. We have so much ahead of us.

You are a daddy’s daughter too but sometimes the feel that you’re all mine at least secretly gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment. He does travel along for the ride but you and me… We’ve got a special thing going.

There would be times where it gets tough, but I do know that we can get through tough times, and I want you to know that I’m always trying my best. I want to be a good mother and I’ll try my best to do what’s right for you.

All I would wish for you is to Create a life that gives YOU happiness. Nothing would make me prouder.

You will have plenty of days to thank me, but I would thank you on every Mother’s day for making me a mom and I am so happy to be yours.

I can strongly say there is no word in English language that sounds as delightful to a woman as the word, “Mom.” God must have coined it after a long thought. One shout out of the word “Mom!” — every woman turns her head. And that is how special it is to be a mother.

#sindhublogs

#myfriendalexa

I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level through Blogchatter .

Parenting Journey

Hello All,

Welcome to my world of blogging where I go about sharing my experiences as a new parent.

Motherhood has indeed made me a new person I discover each day.

I am a mother of a naughty beautiful toddler , Shrinika who makes me run on my toes all day. Wait..I’m a working mom so don’t take it literally. So it’s not all day and the times when I am with her.

Let me take you on a journey of good parenting through my experiences shared here. Feel free to let me know your comments, show some love and give me your suggestions and feedback. Happy parenting.

Good and bad. How to teach your kids to make good choices. Observe, think and decide.

Do we know that telling a child “to make positive or good choices” has an important part to play in molding the behavior.

Such challenging behaviors like the one above make parents struggle on a day-to-day basis.

Making good choices could be compared to learning how to tie shoes for your kids; this skill would develop progressively over time as they mature. Children need a lot of molding and support when it comes to learning how to make good choices. They don’t mean to make bad choices; they just need more practice and support in making good ones.

Part of raising kids is preparing them for the world and life on their own by preparing them with the skills necessary to both succeed and cope with failures.

The real world we live in is full of disappointment, consequences, hearing a no, and doing things I would rather not. That’s how life is. Therefore, preparing my child with the means to handle all that is important. Therefore, to inspire my daughter’s independence and to nurture her emotional intelligence, I want to parent her in a way that she knows she is loved and I believe in her, but that she also knows what it’s like to fail or to make the wrong decision.

“Failure is not fatal”. People know me as a perfectionist, to me it felt like mistakes were killing me from the inside. Honestly, I have never emotionally conquered the concept of failure; even small mess ups sometimes feel like the end of the world to me. I waver in my own decision making very often because I do not like living with even the small consequences.

Teaching your child to make choices is one of the most important elements of raising a well-behaved child.

From big choices (“Should I opt for high profile PR job and move to abroad or stay home to take care of the kids?”) to little choices (“Dessert or salad?”), every decision we make has complications.

Being self-disciplined is understanding and taking responsibility for making life’s choices. A major part of parenting well is to help your child learn the challenging skill of making positive, suitable choices. A gain of sense control over own life is gained by a child, when he/she is skilled at consciously making choices will understand their own needs. Choice-making also helps teach internal discipline, organization, and prioritizing. Children learn how to make big choices by watching you do it, and by gaining experience through making little choices.

Teaching choice to your child: TIPS

  • Never give a choice you aren’t willing to follow through on. That means when you say, “Either you tidy your room or we are not going out to eat,” you should be prepared to start cooking. It also means if you say, “Tidy your room and I’ll take you to a posh restaurant in town,” you need to be prepared make reservations.
  • It’s your responsibility to keep your child safe and healthy. Keep food choices healthy, and allow your child to choose what to eat. If your kid chooses to eat only cookies and dessert, stop having them as a choice.
  • Unless your child is very skilled at choice-making and your budget is unlimited, never offer choices without restrictions. Give them an “either/or” if they are young.
  • When a child is making choices about her behavior, you can point out the choice and the consequences of it.
  • Older children can use choices to learn how to prioritize
  • Once a child makes a choice, lay off on the options, don’t continue to offer choices.
  • Once a choice has been made, be clear as to when it becomes final.

What if the child does not like the choice made?

This is hard for a strong, reasonable parent to watch. Nobody enjoys watching a child be disappointed. But making a choice necessitates learning to live with the choice that’s been made. Disappointment is a good teaching tool, and discipline is teaching.

Teaching consequences of choice that was made

  • When she experiences failure or disappointment, she has to handle it with stability and not feel like it’s the end of the world.
  • When her friends are doing something that she feels is not right, she will not blindly follow, but she will have the anticipation to see what consequence may be ahead of her.
  • When she has a decision that did not turned out as planned, she would have emotional stamina to pull herself up and not feel defeated.
  • When she is faced with defending what she believes and her faith she will not hesitate or be embarrassed in any circumstance.
  • When she experiences rejection, she knows that was not her choice and it will just stimulate her to be even better and more assertive.

The book Teaching with love and logic by Jim Fay and David Funk is beautifully written about how to empower children and help them learn how to make good choices. Creating stronger relationships with students can lead to more cooperation is one major take away from this book.

Basically, Love and Logic shows you how to avoid power struggles and offer choices to children. Instead of controlling children’s behavior and making all their choices for them, it empowers children to make their own choices. When children feel empowered they learn more. They learn more because less time is spent trying to control their behavior.

Enforceable statements are invites instead of demands. When you demand that a child does something they may refuse because they feel controlled, but when you invite them to do something they are much more likely to do it.

When kids don’t make good choices:

  • Avoid making demands
  • Avoid making threats
  • Avoid power struggles
  • Offer them choices
  • Use logical consequences

So mommies let us raise a child who is independent to make good choices and live happily because of it.

Does my baby love me ? How do I know that ?.Read through the signs to know

Talking in reality, babies are small and cannot be expected to reciprocate or give a feedback after the tiring hours of delivery and sleepless nights. But as time goes one, we got along and got to know each other forming a blissful bond. As I started taking care of her, she loved

me more and reciprocated in her own ways.

Babies can recognize their primary caretaker within the first few weekswhich actually would be the mom in most cases. This is definitely with the help of the tiny nose. A baby can rightly identify mom by the scent of the milk.

Most important point to note is we need to be an expert to know what they cry for. Persistent and desperate usually means they are hungry and need a feed, unexpected might mean discomfort, and more lamenting can signal discomfort. This is all possible only by trial and error, eventually grasping nuances that will confuse outsiders. The better we understand their language, the better we can attend to their needs. As parents if we respond when she is in distress she learns she can count on them for comfort and relief and that she is important to us. In fact, research shows that caregivers are in perfect sync with their babies only about 40 percent of the time. It does take time for us to learn to recognize and retort when she needs us.

Within the first month, she started responding to my facial expressions and without thinking about it, I started doing it right back at her. I mean the little smiles, the meaningful looks, timidly looking away and back again. These kind of games appear to be as important in strengthening a baby’s affection as your responses to her physical needs. Face-to-face interaction is part of how babies learn about positive give-and-take. She started realizing that with a single look, she can show me how pleased she is to have me around; and that it’s a feeling worth sharing, since I’ll smile back.

The first true social smiles start between 6 and 8 weeks. The signals that the baby is starting to associate your face with feeling good. The bond deepens!

Babies start giving out kisses at about when they are one-year-old. No these are not the peck on the cheek kinds. I was lucky enough to experience this when she was four months. These are wet but loaded with love. Babies love being held, but at six months they have the physical and cognitive ability to hold arms up and ask for pick-me up. This would express how much they’ve trust and adore their parents. And on days when we feel gloomy or depressed this one hug or pick-me up is enough to make it all gone away… Far far away I mean.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery must have known to toddlers. Whether she’s running around with a handbag or putting on a stole, she shows me how cool I am. Toddlers imitate the activities and behaviors of the people they love most.

The fact that your toddler runs to you for comfort—and then can dry her eyes and run off—means she loves and needs you.

Babies don’t have to be that hurt to come to you weeping. Even a minor mishap can make for big drama if the mother is around to see it. My girl gives me pout lowering her head seeking attention. Now that’s a plea for attention, but it really does make her feel better to get proof that I love her as much as she loves me.

She reserves her bad behavior only for me. When I have people visiting her or I leave her at mom’s place to run an errand all I get to hear is “She’s such an angel”. When I am actually at home I be like” Tell me about it!! “.

She gets possessive when I lift other kids. She is all normal and suddenly gets too hyper when I lift another kid. Sometimes I do that only to get her attention.

So Mommies shower your love and get that bond building up.

What is potty training ? When and how to start ? Do’s and dont’s

What is potty training?

Potty training is training your toddler to use potty, so he/she can get rid of wearing diapers.

What the best age to start potty training?

Healthy children aren’t physically and emotionally ready to start using a potty until they are between 18 months and three years old. Boys tend to be ready a few months later than girls. Most parents start the training when their children are between two years and three years old.

The physical maturity and readiness skills needed for successful toilet learning appear at the same time in girls and boys-between 18 and 30 months of age. The average age for girls to be toilet trained is 29 months, and for boys it’s 31 months.

Please note these are just the average months and not exact.

Age shouldn’t be the deciding factor in beginning potty training.

This varies individually among each child and is something that needn’t be compared to.

The key is making sure your child is physically and developmentally ready

How do you know that your child is ready to be potty trained?

· Pulling a wet or dirty diaper.

· Hiding to pee or poop.

· Interest in others’ use of the potty

· Copying adult potty behavior.

· Having a dry diaper for a longer-than-usual time.

· Awakening dry from a nap.

· Telling out that they’re about to go, are going or have just gone in their diaper.

Bowel or bladder control? What comes first?

Most children achieve bowel and bladder control between 24 and 48 months of age. Bowel control occurs before bladder control.

Sequence of control

· Bowel control at night

· Bowel control during the day

· Bladder control during the day

· Bladder control at night

It is normal to wet the bed until age six for a girl and age seven for a boy.

Steps to train your toddler

· Let them watch and learn – Show them how it is done ie. How to undress and sit.

· Buy the right equipment – Getting the right type of potty seat plays a vital role in your training. Try going for choices which would make the kid want to come back and not whine, when taken.

· Help your child get comfortable with the potty – make sure the child feels comfortable sitting on it.

· Motivate with cool underwear- Make them wear underwear with their favorite cartoon characters or motifs. Make them wear it without fuss.

· Set up a training schedule- Prepare a schedule, and stick on to it. It will slowly become a routine.

· Teach to sit and wipe- Help them sit on the potty or if you are using a toilet seat cover, make sure its sturdy when they sit.

· Set aside some naked time – Give them some diaper/ underwear free time. So that they will feel the urge when they need to pee/poop.

· Celebrate triumphs – Once they start doing it the right way, keep encouraging them with small treats.

Role of book and videos in potty training:

Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi, is a lasting favorite. Where’s the Poop? and Once Upon a Potty, comes in a version with a doll and miniature potty. Potty by Leslie patricelli is another good book.

Several board books are now available to encourage children and make them learn in a fun way.

Gender specific titles are also available.

You could also show them an animated video, showing them how their favorite character also is being potty trained.

Many parents deal with potty training as something over which they have total control. Parents are a big contributor to their child’s development, but they don’t really control it. Parents are there to facilitate, to guide, to reinforce and to praise, but parents shouldn’t put pressure on themselves that if they do a series of steps, the children will achieve a certain outcome.”

If you feel like you’ve been changing diapers forever, you’re not alone.

Do not compare your child, this varies individually and is not something to boast about if your child has mastered it very early. Children take their own time to get comfortable and used to it. After all, its nature’s call and cannot be missed but would be taken at the right time and right place.