Nurture is to take care of #writebravely #celebratewritetribe

Nurturing is to take care of, feed and protect so a person when referred as a nurturing person is someone who is protective and caring.

A relationship cannot survive by itself. Only when two people take care and nurture and give to each other in a way, there is a mutually favourable connection that helps in sustaining the relationship.

What are the ways you can nurture your relationship?

Loving, honest and frequent communication– Talk it out I say but with love and honesty.

The inclination to work through hitches and differences. -Try to learn to face the discomfort that comes with opinions that differ.

Thinking out of box together – The desire to do something new, step out of comfort zone by both of you, makes you build a stronger bond.

Sense of humour and a diversion from routine – Don’t just keep saying that you are working on relationship, take time out have fun.

Compliments and emotional support– Keep that trust factor on, if you get a feel that he doesn’t like or respect, the connection is gone forever. Lift up each other when the other person is down.

Love, romance, and sex- These are the foundations of a loving relationship. You can always rekindle the spark, if you know how. Do it and keep it going.

Sharing a common goal – That journey of working together towards a goal is always that we should be looking forward to, so that we pursue it together.

Admit, forgive and forget– To err is human. We all screw up. Trying to understand and let go of the mistakes the partner make swill make life even more joyful.

Share what you learnt with your better half. – You learn something new or a truth that you discover about life, make sure you share it with him. It does bring you a positive response.

Gestures that make HIM happy and also nurture your bond

  1. Compliment him in front of other.
  2. Food is the way to a man’s heart so get started.
  3. Be quick to apologize.
  4. Give him some man time.
  5. Plan a day for only the two of you.
  6. Say that he is handsome often.
  7. Get him the gift that he really wants.
  8. Put yourself first.
  9. Take time to invest and save money
  10. Write out a letter to him.
  11. Kiss him often.
  12. Learn about his hobby and get yourself involved.
  13. Initiate sex more, be romantic and playful as well.
  14. Appreciate him when he does something good.
  15. Go to him for advice and follow it.
  16. 15 minutes of talking daily. Only the two of you.

One more thing I would add is to have a meal once a day together. Take time to serve each other, enjoy the food and feel loved.

I’m Writing Bravely for the Write Tribe Festival of Words – March 2019’

Mother tongue – a must teach to your toddlers #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

The sudden burst of mother tongue related posts and videos doing round is not because of a campaign or a contest. February 21 is observed as International mother language day worldwide. If this is observed worldwide that shows the importance of mother tongue. This is observed to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity. This also familiarizes or brings awareness of a concept called multilingualism.

Going to the history of when and how this came to existence, it was Bangladesh who came up with the initiative and was approved at the UNESCO in 1999.This has been observed since the year 2000. The utmost powerful tools of conserving and evolving our physical and insubstantial heritage are the languages we speak.

Necessity of teaching your child mother tongue

Mother tongue has a major role to play in the child’s overall development. If the foundation of learning the mother tongue is strong, it is easier for the child to learn other languages. When your child is given exposure to learn to develop skills in more than one language, the easier it is for them to learn how to use them effectively. This will not be the case with a child who knows only one language. Children when exposed to learn more languages are capable of processing information in different language thereby making them more flexible.

Learning the mother tongue also helps in developing better literacy in turn increasing the vocabulary of the child; thereby making it easier when the kid goes to kindergarten.

Learning the mother tongue helps the child to feel more connected with the roots and culture. That will not be the case with children who are brought up in a place where they do not have much exposure to their mother tongue. As a result, they feel left out when they are back to where they belong.

How do you teach mother tongue?

  • Start teaching mother tongue at home
  • Communicate to them in mother tongue
  • Grandparents are a great learning source to teach mother tongue
  • Gatherings of like-minded people, in this case people who have same mother tongue
  • Read books in mother tongue.

How did I incorporate mother tongue in my toddler’s vocabulary?

  • I always teach my daughter the name of an object in tamil(my mother tongue) and English. In that way she is able to identify the object in both languages.
  • I always insist she calls me Amma(mother in tamil) and not mummy or mom. Same goes with Appa(father). She is taught the various terms for relatives only in mother tongue tamil.
  • Though she enjoys watching rhymes in English, there are equally good rhymes available in tamil as well. So she is exposed to both cultures.
  • The people in the house converse with her in Tamil to which she responds back well and I can also see that since us the elders talk in mother tongue at home she has picked up words from conversations and is able to use them in situations as she needs.

So let us be strong in teaching our kids the mother tongue so that they do not forget their roots and also help in preserving the vast heritage.

This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com , Allaboutthewoman.com https://allaboutthewoman.com/woman-health/ and powered by Instacuppa https://instacuppastore.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”

Mother tongue – a must teach to your toddlers #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

The sudden burst of mother tongue related posts and videos doing round is not because of a campaign or a contest. February 21 is observed as International mother language day worldwide. If this is observed worldwide that shows the importance of mother tongue. This is observed to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity. This also familiarizes or brings awareness of a concept called multilingualism.

Going to the history of when and how this came to existence, it was Bangladesh who came up with the initiative and was approved at the UNESCO in 1999.This has been observed since the year 2000. The utmost powerful tools of conserving and evolving our physical and insubstantial heritage are the languages we speak.

Necessity of teaching your child mother tongue

Mother tongue has a major role to play in the child’s overall development. If the foundation of learning the mother tongue is strong, it is easier for the child to learn other languages. When your child is given exposure to learn to develop skills in more than one language, the easier it is for them to learn how to use them effectively. This will not be the case with a child who knows only one language. Children when exposed to learn more languages are capable of processing information in different language thereby making them more flexible.

Learning the mother tongue also helps in developing better literacy in turn increasing the vocabulary of the child; thereby making it easier when the kid goes to kindergarten.

Learning the mother tongue helps the child to feel more connected with the roots and culture. That will not be the case with children who are brought up in a place where they do not have much exposure to their mother tongue. As a result, they feel left out when they are back to where they belong.

How do you teach mother tongue?

  • Start teaching mother tongue at home
  • Communicate to them in mother tongue
  • Grandparents are a great learning source to teach mother tongue
  • Gatherings of like-minded people, in this case people who have same mother tongue
  • Read books in mother tongue.

How did I incorporate mother tongue in my toddler’s vocabulary?

  • I always teach my daughter the name of an object in tamil(my mother tongue) and English. In that way she is able to identify the object in both languages.
  • I always insist she calls me Amma(mother in tamil) and not mummy or mom. Same goes with Appa(father). She is taught the various terms for relatives only in mother tongue tamil.
  • Though she enjoys watching rhymes in English, there are equally good rhymes available in tamil as well. So she is exposed to both cultures.
  • The people in the house converse with her in Tamil to which she responds back well and I can also see that since us the elders talk in mother tongue at home she has picked up words from conversations and is able to use them in situations as she needs.

So let us be strong in teaching our kids the mother tongue so that they do not forget their roots and also help in preserving the vast heritage.

This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com , Allaboutthewoman.com and powered by Instacuppa and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”

Parenting – Are you doing it the right way ?

Parenting:

The process of nurturing and supporting the overall development of a child which includes social, emotional, physical and intellectual. Most importantly, it does not stop with the biological relationship. In fact, it extends much more into the intricacies of each phase of human development.

Styles of parenting:

  • Instinctive parenting.
  • Attachment parenting.
  • Helicopter parenting.
  • Authoritative parenting.
  • Permissive parenting.

Instinctive Parenting:

This is the old school method that is being followed for ages. In most families, this is the type of parenting that can be witnessed. You trust your instincts and guide the child. Most probably, you bring up the child in a way that you were brought up by your parents or grandparents.

Attachment parenting:

Attachment parenting primarily is based on developing a strong emotional bond between parent-child. It is believed that strong attachment brings up a good emotional well-being and the child feels secure being brought up by that way. Parents who adopt this style usually are more responsive, I mean quicker to respond to the child’s needs, feelings so that the child is secure. These parents believe in natural birthing, family bed, no punishments and homeschooling.

Helicopter parenting:

This is when there is constant interaction more precisely interference with the child. Parents tend to hover like a helicopter. This type of parenting supposedly makes the child too very dependent on the parent even after they cross certain age.

Authoritative parenting:

This typically is, ‘I gave birth to you, you live on my property, so you follow my rules’ kind. Rules and guidelines are established for children to be followed. This parent is more nurturing and supportive if incase the child fails to meet expectations. Discipline according to then is being confident but not restrain, to nurture rather than reprove.

Permissive parenting

It’s a child’s choice is what the parenting is about. These parents have very few demands and rarely indulge in disciplining the child. More precise being lenient is the most important trait of the parent here. They try to be more a friend than being a parent to the child.

Good and Bad parenting:

Teaching your child, the moral of choosing what is right and wrong is the foundation of good parenting. You can refer more about this is my older article- Teaching your child good and bad choice. The key to good parenting is setting limits and being consistent. We must be firm and also be kind at the same time to make the child follow.

Anything that is negative to the above statements is termed bad parenting.

A series of action, not just one single act which can harm the child’s behavior and psychology is termed bad parenting. This is not always intentional, but this does not console you that the negative effects would lessen. This usually happens when people do not know enough or lack of the need to do it the right way. The hard thing to digest is some people are not aware of what is actually happening and some do not even care.

How do you identify bad parenting?

  1. Scolding the child frequently.
  2. Disciplining in front of other people. This includes grandparents as well.
  3. Constant comparison to other kids.
  4. No attachment or affection
  5. No rules
  6. Lack of support
  7. Advice always and no encouragement
  8. Not giving them choice
  9. Too much pampering
  10. Talking to them in a criticizing tone
  11. NO respect for child’s feeling
  12. Being overprotective of them
  13. Being too busy and not spending time
  14. Setting a bad example

Being a good parent

No parent is perfect. It’s just that we are all trying our best to become one and are still on the way and have a long way up.

Below cues can help you add more skills if you are already one or just the starting point for you to build up to become one.

Be the model. – Don’t keep telling them what to do; Show them how.

  1. Loving them- Show them love, you can be unconditional; there are no limits. Give them a lot of hugs, spend time, listen to them. Too much love doesn’t spoil them.
  2. Positive parenting – Give them a lot of positive vibes and bring them up in such environment. Do not talk about negative stuff.
  3. You’re the rescuer- Let them know you are always there for them and they can always walk up to you to feel safe.
  4. Communicating – This is the key. Talk to them freely, offer solutions, suggest options, give them choices. Listen to what they say to you. DO not out rightly reject immediately when they start.
  5. Reflecting- Most of us try to bring in the way we were brought up with minor changes. This is much like reflecting our childhood.
  6. No spanking- DO not spank your child at any cost. Especially not in front of others. This would make them lower their confidence.

We are unique in our own ways of bringing the child up. It’s just the above categories are grouping o similar behavior that is observed across the world.

Taking your toddler to a restaurant. What to and what not to ?

Toddler at restaurant

How many of you are excited about going to a restaurant with a toddler? Okay let me put it this way. How many of you plan your trip to the restaurant with your toddler? By planning I mean everything- food, clothing, toys, stroller and what not.

For many of us taking a toddler with the family to have a fine dining out is something that requires days of planning. Have we taken this, have we taken that and a half way through the ride we go about” omg! We missed this”, looking at what we’ve packed seemed to be like a mini vacation.

So how can we turn this to something that we enjoy doing, something that we look forward to, something that would become a tradition to celebrate or come on let’s give the lady of the house some rest from cooking.

This can be slowly done by taking your child once he/she is about 7-8 months, so that they get used to the environment, look out what it is like, what people do.

Toddler at restaurant

Let’s take a look at few tips and tricks.

1) Eating early

This is certainly the most important point that needs to be taken into consideration. Plan to have your meal a little earlier so that your home early. Your child might be past bedtime, but you definitely need to be out of the restaurant and halfway down when they start getting cranky.

2) Pack a bag with food for the kid

You may plan to take the usual meal your toddler takes or if you’re someone who doesn’t want to run around and feed in the restaurant you may as well pack some healthy snacks to keep your toddler busy. You might even order an extra portion of salad or boiled veggies if your toddler is already sued to such food.

3) Get to know the place

You can place the order and then take round about the restaurant to explore or say hi if they are any kids around of the same age. And if you find one you’re lucky.

4) Plan what you eat

IF the restaurant that you planned to go has an online menu, make sure you decide what to order and eat there beforehand and not study the menu when you are actually there. This saves time, count on me.

5) Carry distractions

If your toddler is old enough to color to may carry some crayons and sheets keep them engaged. Some restaurants if they are kid friendly do have this available themselves. Reserve a set of toys for trips like these. They must be something new and not what the kid usually plays with.

6) Feed the kid before

If possible feed the kids before you start, in that way they are full and will not be cranky when you get there.

7) Get the corner table

Try your best to be seated in one of the corners or in booths, in that way the kid has more room and can save you from embarrassment.

8) Keep cutlery out of reach

Most parents give the children cutlery to play with. This is one of the worst way of distracting. Keep them out of reach.

9) Opt for a kid friendly restaurant

Look in for restaurants which have a high chair, kids zone and most importantly kid friendly menu. Don’t attempt to feed whatever your order to your kid to say that you are making them get used to it. They have all the time in the world to explore food. Always introduce new foods at home, by which I mean home cooked and not take away food being fed at home.

10) avoid the junk as treat

Avoid treating your kid with junk. This might tempt them to ask for it, when they see people at the other table having it.

11) Keep clean

Always carry two sets of bib and your own play mat. After all, since we eat in the restaurant we do not pay them for the mess the child makes.

12) table manners if kids are old enough

If the kids are old enough, teach them table manners. Practice pretend play of a restaurant. They can learn to order what they would want to eat with a little assistance from your side.

13) Toilet trips before eating

Take your kids to toilet before you settle down to eat.

14)Prepare for restlessness.

It may be tough for your kid to keep unmoving for a long time – about 45 minutes is the max for a child up to about age 5. Be ready to take them on a walk outside the restaurant.

15) IF everything fails; leave

Try not to get angry if, after all your preparation, your child is troublesome. Instead, ask for the bill and take away boxes, and finish the meal at home.

“If you’re so busy correcting your child that you aren’t enjoying your meal, it’s time to do something else,” says Pamela Gould, author of Feeding the Kids.

I owed you one – REVIEW

BLURB

Dev Khanna has it all before a mysterious letter shakes the very foundation he has built his life on. With his beliefs challenged, he decides to close the chapter once and for all. I Owed You One is the story of promises and commitments, of triumphs and defeat, and of holding on and letting go.

MY REVIEW:

A female author narrating from the lead character’s POV is something very different. The thought process, the expression of behaviors and emotion from the authors perspective was bang on like that of a male.

Dev Khanna, a chemical engineer based out of Australia is the main character, who is is happily married to his wife Radhika and has an adorable son named Neel. His life is progressing at a steady pace when suddenly he receives a mysterious letter from his hometown in India. The content of the letter and what it changes in lives of many people is what is the story of I owed you one.

He has always questioned his father’s behavior when he was little. He has seen his father ignoring her mother all the time, coming up with excuses like he has too much of work in his office. Dev noticed his mother’s unhappiness though she would never complain about her husband’s attitude. Growing up in such a family where people are not attached, he often feels neglected by his father. This leaves an contrary effect when he grows up.

The mysterious letter from India just acts as a prompt and this is where starts a voyage filled with emotions, anger, anxiety, etc.

The story is written in a subtle manner and each character plays a crucial role in the novel.

This is a must-read novel if you looking for an interesting story with strong characters. The story is imprinted in a very beautiful manner where relationships are given primary importance.

It explores the family relationships and shows how important it is to bond with your children and how it can affect your children when you’re not emotionally involved with him/her.

The narration flowed easily. Also, the switching between past and present is managed well in the book. It’s very smooth, descriptive and has some amazing word play. It’s very rare to find books with good language these days, either the language is too stiff and difficult to understand or it is amateurish. But, in this book, the author has shown her vocabulary skills.

The author conveys the beautiful message of humanity and peaceful coexistence.

MY RATINGS:

Cover- 3.5 stars

Title- 3.5 stars

Blurb- 4 stars

Plot- 3.5 stars

Writing and Presentation- 3 stars

Overall- 3.7 out of 5 stars

Title – I Owed You One

Author – Madhu Vajpayee

Genre – Fiction / Family Life

Publisher – LiFi Publications

ISBN – 978-93-86191-28-1

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Madhu Vajpayee the writer is born somewhere in those hospital corridors where she has spent the last two decades of her life. Witnessing life at such close quarters pushed her to capture the enigma of life in her words and slowly it became her passion. After writing several medical papers and chapters in books, she started her journey in the literary world. Having done her graduation, MBBS from King Georges Medical University (KGMU), Lucknow she went ahead to pursue her post-graduation, MD Clinical Microbiology from AIIMS, New Delhi.

She was a faculty at All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), New Delhi having been associated with diagnosis and management of patients living with HIV/AIDS besides being actively involved with research and teaching. She is now settled in Melbourne, Australia with her family, where she is devoting most of her time to writing, the passion that she couldn’t pursue earlier because of the demands of medical profession and commitment it requires. When not creating stories, Madhu enjoys reading and traveling.