Category: child behaviour

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How to raise an independent toddler ?

Not recently that I noticed my son stepping up for each and every thing mentioning that ‘i want to’ . Though he hasn’t started speaking fluently, the gibberish babble of saying and showing that he wants to do it by himself gave me a lot of thoughts.

Wanting to do everything what the adults do , including disciplining the sibling the way we do made me look at him in awe. Kids these days keep looking at you every second I say.

The desire to be independent is something that I found so adorable and at the same time exhausting as I was losing my cool very often. Though I do understand that it is our duty to raise self sufficient adults like we are.

At the same time it feels kind of scary when they take risks which I feel they are not ready yet. The mother instinct in me, one time wanted to let him try and on the other end getting tensed that don’t let him.

As a result, it did make the day longer and I knew that folding a cloth would now take ten minutes or even putting away the plate after eating.

The child’s independence is letting go of the stage in childhood. That is where realisation kicks in hard saying that they’re growing up and then there is. No going back.

So how do you encourage your toddler to be independent

Not holding them back

You always begin where you tend to hold them back, embrace their decision to do things on their own. Guide and coach then but do not hold them back and tell them there is a time to learn doing this.

This could start with them wearing shoes. Though it takes forever, I don’t think you should hurry up here. Your hands might itch to get there and get it done, but stay back and let them do it.

Show them, do together, monitor and leave them alone

Them wanting to do a task above comfort level can be scary. But what do you do when they insist on doing it.

Think whether it is age appropriate. Start by showing how it is done, proceed to doing it with them together, go ahead with monitoring when they do and help them if they get stuck and lastly let them try it alone.

You can start this by making them prepare their snack , making their bed or folding clothes.

Though the process is time consuming the end result it gives is your child being independent. It all starts with the kid watching when you do it and ends with them doing it on their own without needing your help.

Letting them do things their way

Micro management is something that nobody likes not even your toddler . You should not only embrace their decision to do things on their own but also do it in their own way.

All of us are different people in having our thinking process and our own preferences. Give them the freedom to do things their way rather than having them copy our style.

Do not help them in their struggle

Any mom doesn’t like their kid struggling. Nobody likes to see the disappointed look on their face it the anger that’s going to be building up after the failure.

When you attempt to help them it is going to be harmful for them in future. They come to a conclusion that we think they aren’t cut out for the tasks. They have the easy way to sense our doubts instead of our support in them.

In fact they wil learn much more when they fail than they learn when we step in and help them out. They also get the message that it’s okay to give up when something gets hard.

Nurture their independence letting them struggle. They will see the obstacles as challenges and find ways to come out of it.

Accomodating their independence

Having my daughter express her wish to help me in kitchen wasn’t the most efficient use of time. I realised that rather than being grateful that I’m having help ,I was more tensed if I will be able to finish cooking within the time.

But instead of saying no, I made a change. Rather than hurrying up the process , I made sure I had enough time before dinner preparation so that she could chip in and help me out.

In this way it can make them work on their own pace and keep us free from feeling the rush. You can also try this if they want to dress up themselves or pack their own lunch boxes.

We can avoid power struggles by not butt heading with them, during our routines and instead take into account their need for extra time they need to practice to do things on their own and in their own way.

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Gas and colic relieve in babies

A woman carries her baby for nine months inside the womb. But it doesn’t stop there. It continues until the child grows and she has to take one step at a time. Just after getting out of the delivery trauma and birthing experience, boom it’s the breastfeeding and making the baby sleep.

What is colic?

And when you say sleep it depends on a lot of factors. The baby should have been fed well and not have any issues in digestion. Quite often babies exhibit symptoms like crying for prolonged duration. Science terms this as ‘colic‘. The baby twists, turns and exhibits actions clearly denoting not being comfortable.

This could either be due to issues in digestion or difficulty in passing gas or poop. There is no clear cut reason mentioning why the baby experiences colic pain. But there are a lot of ways to ease it out and make baby calm. The behavior is repetitive and is mostly stressful for the parent especially the mother.

Ways to ease colic pain

  • Holding the baby in a certain position
  • giving tummy time
  • massaging the belly and naval
  • applying hing paste are few practices that are done to ease the pain.

But a trustworthy aid across centuries has been woodwards gripe water. Primarily contains dill seed oil and sodium bicarbonate which helps ease the pain in tummy and neutralize the stomach acid.

Woodwards gripe water

The gripe water is alcohol and sugar free and has been a helping hand to most new mothers who struggle with babies having colic pain. The gripe water can also be used when baby is teething since that also takes a toll on the normal digestive cycles.

As much as the method of giving birth, care during pregnancy, feeding the child, their introduction to solids, sleep schedules have seen major changes the one thing that’s been the same across generations and time immemorial has been the usage of gripe water.

Woodwards has been a trustworthy brand across generations and ancestors swear by it. Handling a colicky baby can be overwhelming and kind of exhausting at times but over a period of time kids outgrow that phase .

Could also be termed as a product that helps new mothers relax and don’t take a toll on their mental health worrying about this. When you have this handy you are rest assured you have a happy baby.

Happy baby = happy mother.

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@Sindhu Vinod Narayan. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sindhu Vinod Narayan (Thatmadrasmom) with the right and specific direction to the original content.

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Mother tongue – a must teach to your toddlers #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

The sudden burst of mother tongue related posts and videos doing round is not because of a campaign or a contest. February 21 is observed as International mother language day worldwide. If this is observed worldwide that shows the importance of mother tongue. This is observed to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity. This also familiarizes or brings awareness of a concept called multilingualism.

Going to the history of when and how this came to existence, it was Bangladesh who came up with the initiative and was approved at the UNESCO in 1999.This has been observed since the year 2000. The utmost powerful tools of conserving and evolving our physical and insubstantial heritage are the languages we speak.

Necessity of teaching your child mother tongue

Mother tongue has a major role to play in the child’s overall development. If the foundation of learning the mother tongue is strong, it is easier for the child to learn other languages. When your child is given exposure to learn to develop skills in more than one language, the easier it is for them to learn how to use them effectively. This will not be the case with a child who knows only one language. Children when exposed to learn more languages are capable of processing information in different language thereby making them more flexible.

Learning the mother tongue also helps in developing better literacy in turn increasing the vocabulary of the child; thereby making it easier when the kid goes to kindergarten.

Learning the mother tongue helps the child to feel more connected with the roots and culture. That will not be the case with children who are brought up in a place where they do not have much exposure to their mother tongue. As a result, they feel left out when they are back to where they belong.

How do you teach mother tongue?

  • Start teaching mother tongue at home
  • Communicate to them in mother tongue
  • Grandparents are a great learning source to teach mother tongue
  • Gatherings of like-minded people, in this case people who have same mother tongue
  • Read books in mother tongue.

How did I incorporate mother tongue in my toddler’s vocabulary?

  • I always teach my daughter the name of an object in tamil(my mother tongue) and English. In that way she is able to identify the object in both languages.
  • I always insist she calls me Amma(mother in tamil) and not mummy or mom. Same goes with Appa(father). She is taught the various terms for relatives only in mother tongue tamil.
  • Though she enjoys watching rhymes in English, there are equally good rhymes available in tamil as well. So she is exposed to both cultures.
  • The people in the house converse with her in Tamil to which she responds back well and I can also see that since us the elders talk in mother tongue at home she has picked up words from conversations and is able to use them in situations as she needs.

So let us be strong in teaching our kids the mother tongue so that they do not forget their roots and also help in preserving the vast heritage.

This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com , Allaboutthewoman.com https://allaboutthewoman.com/woman-health/ and powered by Instacuppa https://instacuppastore.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”

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Mother tongue – a must teach to your toddlers #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

The sudden burst of mother tongue related posts and videos doing round is not because of a campaign or a contest. February 21 is observed as International mother language day worldwide. If this is observed worldwide that shows the importance of mother tongue. This is observed to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity. This also familiarizes or brings awareness of a concept called multilingualism.

Going to the history of when and how this came to existence, it was Bangladesh who came up with the initiative and was approved at the UNESCO in 1999.This has been observed since the year 2000. The utmost powerful tools of conserving and evolving our physical and insubstantial heritage are the languages we speak.

Necessity of teaching your child mother tongue

Mother tongue has a major role to play in the child’s overall development. If the foundation of learning the mother tongue is strong, it is easier for the child to learn other languages. When your child is given exposure to learn to develop skills in more than one language, the easier it is for them to learn how to use them effectively. This will not be the case with a child who knows only one language. Children when exposed to learn more languages are capable of processing information in different language thereby making them more flexible.

Learning the mother tongue also helps in developing better literacy in turn increasing the vocabulary of the child; thereby making it easier when the kid goes to kindergarten.

Learning the mother tongue helps the child to feel more connected with the roots and culture. That will not be the case with children who are brought up in a place where they do not have much exposure to their mother tongue. As a result, they feel left out when they are back to where they belong.

How do you teach mother tongue?

  • Start teaching mother tongue at home
  • Communicate to them in mother tongue
  • Grandparents are a great learning source to teach mother tongue
  • Gatherings of like-minded people, in this case people who have same mother tongue
  • Read books in mother tongue.

How did I incorporate mother tongue in my toddler’s vocabulary?

  • I always teach my daughter the name of an object in tamil(my mother tongue) and English. In that way she is able to identify the object in both languages.
  • I always insist she calls me Amma(mother in tamil) and not mummy or mom. Same goes with Appa(father). She is taught the various terms for relatives only in mother tongue tamil.
  • Though she enjoys watching rhymes in English, there are equally good rhymes available in tamil as well. So she is exposed to both cultures.
  • The people in the house converse with her in Tamil to which she responds back well and I can also see that since us the elders talk in mother tongue at home she has picked up words from conversations and is able to use them in situations as she needs.

So let us be strong in teaching our kids the mother tongue so that they do not forget their roots and also help in preserving the vast heritage.

This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com , Allaboutthewoman.com and powered by Instacuppa and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”

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Parenting – Are you doing it the right way ?

Parenting:

The process of nurturing and supporting the overall development of a child which includes social, emotional, physical and intellectual. Most importantly, it does not stop with the biological relationship. In fact, it extends much more into the intricacies of each phase of human development.

Styles of parenting:

  • Instinctive parenting.
  • Attachment parenting.
  • Helicopter parenting.
  • Authoritative parenting.
  • Permissive parenting.

Instinctive Parenting:

This is the old school method that is being followed for ages. In most families, this is the type of parenting that can be witnessed. You trust your instincts and guide the child. Most probably, you bring up the child in a way that you were brought up by your parents or grandparents.

Attachment parenting:

Attachment parenting primarily is based on developing a strong emotional bond between parent-child. It is believed that strong attachment brings up a good emotional well-being and the child feels secure being brought up by that way. Parents who adopt this style usually are more responsive, I mean quicker to respond to the child’s needs, feelings so that the child is secure. These parents believe in natural birthing, family bed, no punishments and homeschooling.

Helicopter parenting:

This is when there is constant interaction more precisely interference with the child. Parents tend to hover like a helicopter. This type of parenting supposedly makes the child too very dependent on the parent even after they cross certain age.

Authoritative parenting:

This typically is, ‘I gave birth to you, you live on my property, so you follow my rules’ kind. Rules and guidelines are established for children to be followed. This parent is more nurturing and supportive if incase the child fails to meet expectations. Discipline according to then is being confident but not restrain, to nurture rather than reprove.

Permissive parenting

It’s a child’s choice is what the parenting is about. These parents have very few demands and rarely indulge in disciplining the child. More precise being lenient is the most important trait of the parent here. They try to be more a friend than being a parent to the child.

Good and Bad parenting:

Teaching your child, the moral of choosing what is right and wrong is the foundation of good parenting. You can refer more about this is my older article- Teaching your child good and bad choice. The key to good parenting is setting limits and being consistent. We must be firm and also be kind at the same time to make the child follow.

Anything that is negative to the above statements is termed bad parenting.

A series of action, not just one single act which can harm the child’s behavior and psychology is termed bad parenting. This is not always intentional, but this does not console you that the negative effects would lessen. This usually happens when people do not know enough or lack of the need to do it the right way. The hard thing to digest is some people are not aware of what is actually happening and some do not even care.

How do you identify bad parenting?

  1. Scolding the child frequently.
  2. Disciplining in front of other people. This includes grandparents as well.
  3. Constant comparison to other kids.
  4. No attachment or affection
  5. No rules
  6. Lack of support
  7. Advice always and no encouragement
  8. Not giving them choice
  9. Too much pampering
  10. Talking to them in a criticizing tone
  11. NO respect for child’s feeling
  12. Being overprotective of them
  13. Being too busy and not spending time
  14. Setting a bad example

Being a good parent

No parent is perfect. It’s just that we are all trying our best to become one and are still on the way and have a long way up.

Below cues can help you add more skills if you are already one or just the starting point for you to build up to become one.

Be the model. – Don’t keep telling them what to do; Show them how.

  1. Loving them- Show them love, you can be unconditional; there are no limits. Give them a lot of hugs, spend time, listen to them. Too much love doesn’t spoil them.
  2. Positive parenting – Give them a lot of positive vibes and bring them up in such environment. Do not talk about negative stuff.
  3. You’re the rescuer- Let them know you are always there for them and they can always walk up to you to feel safe.
  4. Communicating – This is the key. Talk to them freely, offer solutions, suggest options, give them choices. Listen to what they say to you. DO not out rightly reject immediately when they start.
  5. Reflecting- Most of us try to bring in the way we were brought up with minor changes. This is much like reflecting our childhood.
  6. No spanking- DO not spank your child at any cost. Especially not in front of others. This would make them lower their confidence.

We are unique in our own ways of bringing the child up. It’s just the above categories are grouping o similar behavior that is observed across the world.

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Taking your toddler to a restaurant. What to and what not to ?

Toddler at restaurant

How many of you are excited about going to a restaurant with a toddler? Okay let me put it this way. How many of you plan your trip to the restaurant with your toddler? By planning I mean everything- food, clothing, toys, stroller and what not.

For many of us taking a toddler with the family to have a fine dining out is something that requires days of planning. Have we taken this, have we taken that and a half way through the ride we go about” omg! We missed this”, looking at what we’ve packed seemed to be like a mini vacation.

So how can we turn this to something that we enjoy doing, something that we look forward to, something that would become a tradition to celebrate or come on let’s give the lady of the house some rest from cooking.

This can be slowly done by taking your child once he/she is about 7-8 months, so that they get used to the environment, look out what it is like, what people do.

Toddler at restaurant

Let’s take a look at few tips and tricks.

1) Eating early

This is certainly the most important point that needs to be taken into consideration. Plan to have your meal a little earlier so that your home early. Your child might be past bedtime, but you definitely need to be out of the restaurant and halfway down when they start getting cranky.

2) Pack a bag with food for the kid

You may plan to take the usual meal your toddler takes or if you’re someone who doesn’t want to run around and feed in the restaurant you may as well pack some healthy snacks to keep your toddler busy. You might even order an extra portion of salad or boiled veggies if your toddler is already sued to such food.

3) Get to know the place

You can place the order and then take round about the restaurant to explore or say hi if they are any kids around of the same age. And if you find one you’re lucky.

4) Plan what you eat

IF the restaurant that you planned to go has an online menu, make sure you decide what to order and eat there beforehand and not study the menu when you are actually there. This saves time, count on me.

5) Carry distractions

If your toddler is old enough to color to may carry some crayons and sheets keep them engaged. Some restaurants if they are kid friendly do have this available themselves. Reserve a set of toys for trips like these. They must be something new and not what the kid usually plays with.

6) Feed the kid before

If possible feed the kids before you start, in that way they are full and will not be cranky when you get there.

7) Get the corner table

Try your best to be seated in one of the corners or in booths, in that way the kid has more room and can save you from embarrassment.

8) Keep cutlery out of reach

Most parents give the children cutlery to play with. This is one of the worst way of distracting. Keep them out of reach.

9) Opt for a kid friendly restaurant

Look in for restaurants which have a high chair, kids zone and most importantly kid friendly menu. Don’t attempt to feed whatever your order to your kid to say that you are making them get used to it. They have all the time in the world to explore food. Always introduce new foods at home, by which I mean home cooked and not take away food being fed at home.

10) avoid the junk as treat

Avoid treating your kid with junk. This might tempt them to ask for it, when they see people at the other table having it.

11) Keep clean

Always carry two sets of bib and your own play mat. After all, since we eat in the restaurant we do not pay them for the mess the child makes.

12) table manners if kids are old enough

If the kids are old enough, teach them table manners. Practice pretend play of a restaurant. They can learn to order what they would want to eat with a little assistance from your side.

13) Toilet trips before eating

Take your kids to toilet before you settle down to eat.

14)Prepare for restlessness.

It may be tough for your kid to keep unmoving for a long time – about 45 minutes is the max for a child up to about age 5. Be ready to take them on a walk outside the restaurant.

15) IF everything fails; leave

Try not to get angry if, after all your preparation, your child is troublesome. Instead, ask for the bill and take away boxes, and finish the meal at home.

“If you’re so busy correcting your child that you aren’t enjoying your meal, it’s time to do something else,” says Pamela Gould, author of Feeding the Kids.

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Teaching your toddler to clean up

Cleanup time

When can you start teaching your toddler to clean up. Not the point below carefully.

“If a child is old enough to get out a toy to play, she is old enough to put it away.”

So if your child is capable of choosing which toy to play with from the toy box; he/she is also capable of putting it back when done playing with.

Let me put forth some strategies that can get this done.

Choosing language or choice of words carefully

The child isn’t born with inherent cleaning skill. It is something that is learnt on observation or upon being told. So just a blunt “clean up your toys” is not going to take you anywhere in this situation. Break the clean up into smaller tasks. Teach them to group things according to size or type. Breaking up cleaning into smaller tasks makes it manageable and also easier for them to start with. I am sure a good way of communication is the key to get the toddler moving.

Start young

IF your toddler is just two but loves watching what the parents do. You can very well start teaching them. Give them a dust cloth or small broom with dust pan to start with. They can imitate what you do.

Cleaning up

Necessity of cleaning up

As a grown up, we know what clean up means, but to a toddler it means putting away the fun. Give them a reason or explain consequences with which they can relate; it makes it easier in this way. Tell them someone might trip, fall off and get hurt or the toddler cannot find the toy in the same place if it’s not put back.

Create Kid-Friendly Storage for Toys

Make sure toy storage is kid friendly. They should be able to pick up and clean up with ease. Place them in boxes- say one for blocks, one for stuffed toys and so on.

Less toys, rotate and one set at a time

It is better to segregate them into sets; which is another way. Less toys means very little time required for cleanup. Always rotate the sets so that they don’t get bored. Stop buying the same kind of toys. Also make sure only one set is out at a time.

Cleaning up

Do it with a Tune!

There are a lot of youtube kid channels which have a cleanup song. Show them how it’s done. This might help them understand easier. So whenever it’s time for cleanup you can join in, sing and do it together. Do you want to know what’s our favourite cleanup song. Check it out.

Make it a Game

This makes a wonderful game. You can set the timer and tell them do complete before the buzzer goes on. Or you can tell them to complete before we finish folding clothes. Doing it this way increases the fun factor.

Don’t make it perfect

When the play area is finally clean, leave it as it is. If the blocks aren’t stacked properly or the dust cloth is not put back straight, leave it. As long as the place is clean, don’t redo what was done. A toddler cannot clean up like an adult. But if you still do it again to get it perfect, something like you redo what was done, the toddler might not be inclined to do it the next time; because they know we would redo it anyways.

Putting toys to sleep

IF the toddler cleans up before sleep time, tell them the toys need to sleep in their respective places, so we need to make sure they are kept in respective places. Maybe the child can also cultivate the habit of saying goodnight to the toys once its cleaned up.

Set a good example

Before making the toddler do the cleanup, we ourselves should set a good example for them. IF not now, we should not put ourselves into a situation that we still make a mess and expect the child to do a cleanup.

What are the benefits of teaching them cleanup?

Learn Skills they use life long

The home is the perfect place to teach them skills which they could use for the rest of their lives. Once they learn now they needn’t have to be calling you for learning it again and again.

Learning to be responsible

Responsibility is a serious skill to teach. Each day we see kids who have been brought up without being taught what is being responsible like. I really don’t like the sight of it nor does it look good to witness. It’s a very important quality we teach kids that what is expected of them and there are other people who count on them.

Learning value of work

Work is not something we hate nor do we love to work. But over the pace of time we do learn its importance by taking part in the activity. We not only teach them the value but also be a good participant(worker). We are rewarded by our kids standing out from the peer population if we teach them the skill of work and its value.

Learning to appreciate

Do you know that cleaning up also teaches the child to appreciate the effort that goes into it? They also learn to care for what they own by cleaning and putting it away when not needed anymore.

Learning to value home

By teaching them how to clean we also educate them to value where they live. It helps them to exhibit respect for the people they live with. They learn to recognize that the space is being shared by others, and therefore we show respect to them and ourselves by cleaning.

Learning natural consequences

If we end up cleaning after them, especially when they are of age three or more they’re don’t learn natural consequences. It gives them the thought that “ I can make a mess and I have somebody to clean it up for me’.

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Who is a fussy eater ? How to adapt and tame one .

What is fussy eating?

Fussy eating happens when usually your kid starts rejecting food or seems choosy about what is being fed.

When does a baby turn a fussy eater?

This can be a regular habit or can be at intervals. The baby may have an immature digestive system, which will cure itself with time, or might be teething, have an infection,food allergy, or just may not be ready for solid foods yet.

What symptoms should I look out for?

Your baby may push away the spoon or turn her head from it. She might close her mouth,as you try feeding her, spit out food, or become cranky or tired at mealtime. They might also start throwing food when they are playful.

Suggestions to avoid fussy eating stage

  • Don’t delay introducing lumpy foods. Keep changing frequently between purees and lumpy food.
  • Remember that your child will never voluntarily starve themselves. Hunger and fullness can be very well judged by kids.
  • Do not make a fuss of whether your child is eating or not. Remain calm. All we need to do is to concentrate on making mealtimes enjoyable family events. If an occurrence is enjoyable, your child will want to repeat it
  • Be genuine about the amount of effort you put into making your child’s meals. Don’t feel annoyed when they refuse to eat.
  • Don’t threaten and shout at them. This might make it even more difficult
  • Do not use desserts as bribes.

How do I adjust to my child’s eating habit:?

Part of the problem is solved when parents avoid to force feed a child like a adult.

  • If your kid is in the age of 2 months to 2 years, we need to understand that their stomach size would be small. If they have too much of liquid intake say fruit juice or milk, that might be filling them up and say no to a solid when offered.
  • The meal size should be that is something that should suffice a child- size. If they are hungrier they would ask for more. Ideal plan would be three meals spaced at an equal interval and a snack in between.
  • If the family is used to eating late at nights. This would not suit the child. They might get tired and start getting cranky. So always feed the last meal earlier.
  • Weekly assessment is better than daily.
  • Let the kid decide when they have had enough, this would help them understand their body and make them realize when to stop and when to ask for more.

How to tame my fussy eater?

  • Do not force feed the child. If the child turns the head away and rejects food by closing mouth , it’s a clear sign that they are full, even if it is very little. Trust your kid that they know how much to eat. Despite the above signs, if you still try to force feed it might lead to tension and discomfort.
  • Experiment with food textures. Even babies have food preferences. Some enjoy wet gravy foods, while the others prefer finger food. Some might want o continue with liquids, while the others might want to graze over half a dozen meal. Offer healthy options and he’ll develop a taste for them. But do not trick them with junk to eat the meal.
  • Change the speed. Some babies are fast eaters some are slow. So try changing the pace to see if there is a difference.
  • Do not distract the child. Keep away toys, books and turn off TV. Main focus should only be on eating.
  • It’s tempting to let a picky eater take as long as they want to eat. Keep meal length reasonable. It should not be more than 30 minutes. You can tell them you should eat before your hands become dry.
  • Let the baby touch and feel the food that is being offered. There is nothing wrong in exploring.
  • Follow your baby’s timeline. Most babies begin eating solid foods between 4 and 6 months, but some may start a little earlier, others later. As with crawling, walking, potty-training, and just about every other infant milestone, there’s no perfect time .No baby is unique. So let them take their own time.
  • Encourage self-feeding. By about 9 months, many babies are interested in trying to feed themselves. Although your picky eater is likely to make a mess waving around the mealtime spoon, letting him take control is important to a child’s growth and development. Let them participate, which makes it enjoyable for them.
  • It’s a natural feeling for babies to slow down on their feeds. This is usually at the end of year one babies’ growth tends to slow. So does their calorie need. Be patient; growth spurts are on the way.
  • Keep trying, gently. Some babies may need to try a food eight, 10, even 15 times before they enjoy it, so be patient and continue to revisit a rejected food over time, time as long as there are no allergies.
  • React passionately to a picky eater and even a 1-year-old will understand her power over you. Realize that you want your baby to eat for her own well-being, not to please you — and that baby’s rejection of a food is not a rejection of you. Don’t let on that you’re frustrated or angry.
  • Even if it’s our job to feed the baby, it’s their choice to choose what to eat and when. As long as the child is active and has a healthy weight gain, we needn’t worry.
  • Make meal time educative. Teach them where food comes from.
  • Eating together is a good practice. Make sure at least one of you eats with the child.

Toddler recipes for fussy eaters:

  • Baked sweet potato wheels
  • Dry fruit powdered balls
  • Melon balls
  • Shaped cheese slice
  • Popcorn gobi mildly spiced
  • Mildly spiced ragi or soya chakli
  • Carrot kheer
  • Multigrain balls
  • Rice cakes topped with ghee and sugar
  • Rice crepes with veggie purees
  • French fries shallow fried
  • Bite sized jam buns
  • Mini quesadilla with veggies
  • Dhal rice balls
  • Curd rice cakes
  • Soups of all veggies

I did read through a couple of books to learn about child nutrition.

The gentle eating book by Sarah Ockwell Smith

Eat, delete Junior by Pooja Makhija

These give us a better understanding of our child’s food habits and nutritional needs.

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Good and bad. How to teach your kids to make good choices. Observe, think and decide.

Do we know that telling a child “to make positive or good choices” has an important part to play in molding the behavior.

Such challenging behaviors like the one above make parents struggle on a day-to-day basis.

Making good choices could be compared to learning how to tie shoes for your kids; this skill would develop progressively over time as they mature. Children need a lot of molding and support when it comes to learning how to make good choices. They don’t mean to make bad choices; they just need more practice and support in making good ones.

Part of raising kids is preparing them for the world and life on their own by preparing them with the skills necessary to both succeed and cope with failures.

The real world we live in is full of disappointment, consequences, hearing a no, and doing things I would rather not. That’s how life is. Therefore, preparing my child with the means to handle all that is important. Therefore, to inspire my daughter’s independence and to nurture her emotional intelligence, I want to parent her in a way that she knows she is loved and I believe in her, but that she also knows what it’s like to fail or to make the wrong decision.

“Failure is not fatal”. People know me as a perfectionist, to me it felt like mistakes were killing me from the inside. Honestly, I have never emotionally conquered the concept of failure; even small mess ups sometimes feel like the end of the world to me. I waver in my own decision making very often because I do not like living with even the small consequences.

Teaching your child to make choices is one of the most important elements of raising a well-behaved child.

From big choices (“Should I opt for high profile PR job and move to abroad or stay home to take care of the kids?”) to little choices (“Dessert or salad?”), every decision we make has complications.

Being self-disciplined is understanding and taking responsibility for making life’s choices. A major part of parenting well is to help your child learn the challenging skill of making positive, suitable choices. A gain of sense control over own life is gained by a child, when he/she is skilled at consciously making choices will understand their own needs. Choice-making also helps teach internal discipline, organization, and prioritizing. Children learn how to make big choices by watching you do it, and by gaining experience through making little choices.

Teaching choice to your child: TIPS

  • Never give a choice you aren’t willing to follow through on. That means when you say, “Either you tidy your room or we are not going out to eat,” you should be prepared to start cooking. It also means if you say, “Tidy your room and I’ll take you to a posh restaurant in town,” you need to be prepared make reservations.
  • It’s your responsibility to keep your child safe and healthy. Keep food choices healthy, and allow your child to choose what to eat. If your kid chooses to eat only cookies and dessert, stop having them as a choice.
  • Unless your child is very skilled at choice-making and your budget is unlimited, never offer choices without restrictions. Give them an “either/or” if they are young.
  • When a child is making choices about her behavior, you can point out the choice and the consequences of it.
  • Older children can use choices to learn how to prioritize
  • Once a child makes a choice, lay off on the options, don’t continue to offer choices.
  • Once a choice has been made, be clear as to when it becomes final.

What if the child does not like the choice made?

This is hard for a strong, reasonable parent to watch. Nobody enjoys watching a child be disappointed. But making a choice necessitates learning to live with the choice that’s been made. Disappointment is a good teaching tool, and discipline is teaching.

Teaching consequences of choice that was made

  • When she experiences failure or disappointment, she has to handle it with stability and not feel like it’s the end of the world.
  • When her friends are doing something that she feels is not right, she will not blindly follow, but she will have the anticipation to see what consequence may be ahead of her.
  • When she has a decision that did not turned out as planned, she would have emotional stamina to pull herself up and not feel defeated.
  • When she is faced with defending what she believes and her faith she will not hesitate or be embarrassed in any circumstance.
  • When she experiences rejection, she knows that was not her choice and it will just stimulate her to be even better and more assertive.

The book Teaching with love and logic by Jim Fay and David Funk is beautifully written about how to empower children and help them learn how to make good choices. Creating stronger relationships with students can lead to more cooperation is one major take away from this book.

Basically, Love and Logic shows you how to avoid power struggles and offer choices to children. Instead of controlling children’s behavior and making all their choices for them, it empowers children to make their own choices. When children feel empowered they learn more. They learn more because less time is spent trying to control their behavior.

Enforceable statements are invites instead of demands. When you demand that a child does something they may refuse because they feel controlled, but when you invite them to do something they are much more likely to do it.

When kids don’t make good choices:

  • Avoid making demands
  • Avoid making threats
  • Avoid power struggles
  • Offer them choices
  • Use logical consequences

So mommies let us raise a child who is independent to make good choices and live happily because of it.

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Does my baby love me ? How do I know that ?.Read through the signs to know

Talking in reality, babies are small and cannot be expected to reciprocate or give a feedback after the tiring hours of delivery and sleepless nights. But as time goes one, we got along and got to know each other forming a blissful bond. As I started taking care of her, she loved

me more and reciprocated in her own ways.

Babies can recognize their primary caretaker within the first few weekswhich actually would be the mom in most cases. This is definitely with the help of the tiny nose. A baby can rightly identify mom by the scent of the milk.

Most important point to note is we need to be an expert to know what they cry for. Persistent and desperate usually means they are hungry and need a feed, unexpected might mean discomfort, and more lamenting can signal discomfort. This is all possible only by trial and error, eventually grasping nuances that will confuse outsiders. The better we understand their language, the better we can attend to their needs. As parents if we respond when she is in distress she learns she can count on them for comfort and relief and that she is important to us. In fact, research shows that caregivers are in perfect sync with their babies only about 40 percent of the time. It does take time for us to learn to recognize and retort when she needs us.

Within the first month, she started responding to my facial expressions and without thinking about it, I started doing it right back at her. I mean the little smiles, the meaningful looks, timidly looking away and back again. These kind of games appear to be as important in strengthening a baby’s affection as your responses to her physical needs. Face-to-face interaction is part of how babies learn about positive give-and-take. She started realizing that with a single look, she can show me how pleased she is to have me around; and that it’s a feeling worth sharing, since I’ll smile back.

The first true social smiles start between 6 and 8 weeks. The signals that the baby is starting to associate your face with feeling good. The bond deepens!

Babies start giving out kisses at about when they are one-year-old. No these are not the peck on the cheek kinds. I was lucky enough to experience this when she was four months. These are wet but loaded with love. Babies love being held, but at six months they have the physical and cognitive ability to hold arms up and ask for pick-me up. This would express how much they’ve trust and adore their parents. And on days when we feel gloomy or depressed this one hug or pick-me up is enough to make it all gone away… Far far away I mean.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery must have known to toddlers. Whether she’s running around with a handbag or putting on a stole, she shows me how cool I am. Toddlers imitate the activities and behaviors of the people they love most.

The fact that your toddler runs to you for comfort—and then can dry her eyes and run off—means she loves and needs you.

Babies don’t have to be that hurt to come to you weeping. Even a minor mishap can make for big drama if the mother is around to see it. My girl gives me pout lowering her head seeking attention. Now that’s a plea for attention, but it really does make her feel better to get proof that I love her as much as she loves me.

She reserves her bad behavior only for me. When I have people visiting her or I leave her at mom’s place to run an errand all I get to hear is “She’s such an angel”. When I am actually at home I be like” Tell me about it!! “.

She gets possessive when I lift other kids. She is all normal and suddenly gets too hyper when I lift another kid. Sometimes I do that only to get her attention.

So Mommies shower your love and get that bond building up.