Lessons from Becoming

Michelle Obama, the name lit up the room and also inspiration to many of us. Whatever she is today is self-made and that’s something that everyone wants to become one day. She was not born with a silver spoon but she did come out with flying colors. She was never helped to go up the ladder, yet she was there before no one knew it. She had fought tooth and nail to reach and become whoever she is now and marrying the most powerful man or should I put it rightly to say the love of her life and becoming the FLOTUS.

YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT

Your role as the parent is not only to be their role model to shape them up and make them look up to you but also a good companion. From Michelle’s memoir that is so inspiring that right from when she was small she was taught “Not to let anyone walk over you and to stand up when someone tries to bully.” Well I must say that should be the most important lesson any parent must teach their little one. Standing up for themselves and not letting them be vulnerable for someone to hurt them.

Mom-Daughter bond

The bond between mom and daughter should be transparent and open. More than a parent they should be friends with each other which will help them make this relationship work. Young Michelle was always fascinated by coming up with creative solutions to common problems right from the time of preschool. She was equally encouraged by her mom , Marian Robinson to continue doing so. She would share all her adventures with her mom which made her mom well aware of what Michelle would think and do.

To me, there was magic in the learning.

But her enthusiasm dropped when she was in grade two. Noticed by her mom about her demotivation in school,she got to understand it was due to her teacher at school who was cruel to students. So instead of dealing like every other parent, she took up the matter to the Principal who with the other authorities agreed to promote her to the next grade since she had enough knowledge.

So as a parent, instead of treating the kids as an immature human being, if they’re mood swings are noticed by paying attention and try to understand the emotional let down they’re experiencing it can play a great part in evolving the childhood experiences of the kid.

My mother maintained the sort of parental mind-set that I now recognize as brilliant and nearly impossible to emulate — kind of unflappable Zen neutrality… She wasn’t quick to judge and she wasn’t quick to meddle. Instead, she monitored our moods and bore benevolent witness to whatever travails or triumphs a day might bring… When we’d done something great, we received just enough praise to know she was happy with us, but never so much that it became the reason we did what we did.

Being a woman in a (male) dominated world

As a kid, Michelle was enriched and instilled with knowledge on the wonders that good education would bring her even in her later ages. She passed college in flying colors and being among underdogs but she paved her way through landing in a well-paid job is a story that inspires every reader who picks the book on how the magic of a hard working person can help destroy all the barriers be it color or birth.

Michelle does share her experience of being the only woman and in particular african-american woman in most of the rooms and still managing to succeed.

Women endure entire lifetimes of these indignities — in the form of catcalls, groping, assault, oppression. These things injure us. They sap our strength. Some of the cuts are so small they’re barely visible. Others are huge and gaping, leaving scars that never heal. Either way, they accumulate. We carry them everywhere, to and from school and work, at home while raising our children, at our places of worship, anytime we try to advance.

Love doesn’t define you and don’t let it

Michelle’s love story and the way she settled down is a fairy tale indeed. You need to have your hold when you are in a relationship. Happiness might give you an impression that it depends on the physical presence and emotional fallback to the availability of your partner, but in reality it isn’t.

It was possible that I was more in charge of my happiness than I was allowing myself to be.

Your partner’s vision and ambition shouldn’t be overshadowing on you. Instead it should be the one that would pave way for you to grow and bring out the best in you. This is exactly what Michelle talks about. She also includes qualities that help in making the marriage hold together, but also makes you understand that in addition to compatibility adjustment/flexibility is equally important to hold the family together.

The answer, I’m guessing, is probably the best and most sustaining answer to nearly every question arising inside a marriage, no matter who you are or what the issue is: You find ways to adapt. If you’re in it forever, there’s really no choice.

Our partners might not have the same vision as us and something that would seem different than what we thought,but that does not mean even in the literal sense that you do not love them and vice versa. The key is in the commitment that the partners take where in you make the relationship work helping you both achieve what you wanted not without your hearts beating for each other.

Just like everyone of us she wasn’t prepared motherhood because she also found it exhausting. The fact that her hubster could go to the gym and she had to struggle with kids made it even worse. She then realized that instead of cribbing on that she could find ways to make time for herself.

My favourite quotes

“So many of us go through life with our stories hidden, feeling ashamed or afraid when our whole truth doesn’t live up to some established ideal.”

“Now I think it’s one of the most useless questions an adult can ask a child—What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.”

“Inspiration on its own was shallow; you had to back it up with hard work.”

“It was possible, I knew, to live on two planes at once—to have one’s feet planted in reality but pointed in the direction of progress.”

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”

This post is part of Blogchatter’s half marathon.